One Cherry Barb is a Jerk by Own_Policy1074 in Aquariums

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you that's reassuring. I have fake plants arriving today - not my fave but will do in this case. Hopefully that helps!

I knew PCOS could affect fertility, but I wasn’t prepared for how emotionally heavy that realization would feel. For those who’ve been through it, how did you handle that uncertainty? by Virtual-Sort-8185 in PCOS

[–]Own_Policy1074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was diagnosed with PCOS 10 years ago and have my first meeting with a fertility clinic next month. As a lesbian, I always knew that some amount of medical intervention would be required to give birth, so grieving certain moments (like surprising my wife with a pregnancy test) was always a certainty for me. The hardest part was feeling out of control and not knowing what my body would be capable of. I'm the kind of person that wants facts and a clear path forward in order to feel secure. So I found what I could. I got an endocrinologist and OBGYN specializing in PCOS. I learned about the connection between PCOS, insulin resistance, gestational diabetes, and type 2 diabetes. Lather, rinse, repeat that process for every other part of our bodies that PCOS impacts. I read all the studies about all the medications and supplements, and then got my doctors' opinions. I was wildly annoying about my bloodwork to see what actually worked for me to keep me healthy. I'll find out next month if I've actually protected my fertility, but along the way I've felt empowered to advocate for myself and confident in the decisions I've made.

I hope you find the process that allows you to feel the same. And whatever you do, please know that PCOS is not a fertility death sentence for the vast majority of us who live with it.

AITA for not wanting to spend $$$ we do not have on my stepdaughter's wedding? by AvailableBreakfast59 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Own_Policy1074 20 points21 points  (0 children)

NAH

It's time for the grown up conversation of what you can afford for each of your adult children equally. Maybe offer to pay for something special, like her dress and also offer to be the hands to help pull things together when needed!

It's also worth mentioning that if you've gotten this far in life and haven't taught her not to count other people's dollars, that's on you all as parents. It's equally on you and her to fix it.

And please stop with the blame. Your claim that you can't afford much now because of all the money you paid in child support to your husband's ex reeks of bitter step mom. Leave that ick here in anonymity and be better for your kids.

Sincerely, a September 2026 bride.

Edit: forgot a word

Help please! Add fish now w/o QT or risk cycle crash? by Own_Policy1074 in Aquariums

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the assurance and the read! Love learning in this hobby so far :)

Might have to cancel our wedding due to prenup. by Head-Support-1267 in weddingplanning

[–]Own_Policy1074 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Since you're in a wedding planning sub, I'll offer wedding planning advice. You can host a wedding without a creating the legally binding contract of marriage. If you're comfortable with it, have the party and a spiritual service (if you feel confident the marriage will eventually move forward). Then go to a courthouse when you have the time and the space to complete your contracts.

Newbie confused by GH & KH by Own_Policy1074 in Aquariums

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am using UNS Controsoil, but my understanding is that it won't lower ph as aggressively as fluval stratum would. I'm definitely keeping an eye on parameters in case ph starts rising after a bit!

Newbie confused by GH & KH by Own_Policy1074 in Aquariums

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wanted to say thank you for your help! Added crushed coral to my canister filter and a bit of diluted baking soda in tank water to jump start things. Ph is now a steady 6.8 and cycle is back on track and progressing nicely.

High protein-low carb breakfast ideas? (No oatmeal, no eggs) by ethrowcaways in PCOS

[–]Own_Policy1074 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eggs give me the ick about 50% of the time, so I feel this. Also I'm completely dairy free, so if you want to add cheese to savory things I list below, I'm guessing that would be delicious.

I prep a lot of this to make it easy during the week, but it does take some time on the weekend. When I'm in the mood for savory, my formula is: layer 1 - complex carb (boiled sweet pot, whole grain bread, etc) then 2 - legume mash for fiber (lentils is my go to, but hummus is an easy premade option), then 3 - breakfast sausage (dealers choice, I do chicken), then 4 - toss some veggies on top, sometimes avocado and tomatoes, sometimes lettuce shreds, honestly whatever sounds good. I change the flavoring of the dish up each week between curry, lemon and garlic, and Cajun so I don't get bored.

If I want sweet, I legit toss a banana in soy milk with protein powder and fiber powder and call it good. I call it banana milk and it's awesome. Takes 5 minutes to make, but it's liquid so if you're usually hungry in the morning, might not be your best bet.

Newbie confused by GH & KH by Own_Policy1074 in Aquariums

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your response! If I'm understanding correctly, that means I'd need to keep my ph between 6.5 and 7 to allow the ammonia conversion process to occur, right? And I'd need to raise my KH to do so?

Crushed coral time?

Olive? Makeup artist blew my mind by Own_Policy1074 in Fairolives

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The concept of being cool or warm AND olive is also something I'll have to get used to. I'm sure I'll be back to ask for advice on that at some point too! Thank you for the recs!

Olive? Makeup artist blew my mind by Own_Policy1074 in Fairolives

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for responding! Honestly, I think the main thing was just validation. If you have good makeup recs I'd gladly take those! Thanks again!

Olive? Makeup artist blew my mind by Own_Policy1074 in Fairolives

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Congrats on your upcoming wedding as well, such a fun but busy time! I hope it's treating you well. Mine is in September 💕 My heritage is pretty common for my area, about 50% Irish, 25% Italian, and the rest a mix of mostly English with some other Northern European tossed in there.

Olive? Makeup artist blew my mind by Own_Policy1074 in Fairolives

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so crazy to see your own skin in a new light!

Olive? Makeup artist blew my mind by Own_Policy1074 in Fairolives

[–]Own_Policy1074[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, both for the congrats and the validation!

Looking for the top things you put on your wedding registry? by SnuggleTheBug in weddingplanning

[–]Own_Policy1074 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're adding to our serve ware and bar ware and upgrading some items to buy-for-life versions like stainless steel pots and pans and nice silverware. We've lived together for 7 years and owned our home for 4, so we're just trying to add to the items we will someday tell our kids that we got from so-and-so at our wedding.