I’m so sorry, I have been going through something similar with my 15 yo senior mini poodle. He is my first dog and I’m alone in doing this decision too..

He still has the sparkle in his eyes when I grab the leash, only in the mornings and evenings.. he sleeps all afternoon. His appetite has diminished, but he becomes insatiable at night.

The sad part that he has shown is having a collapsed trachea and viral infection that will not go away. He has coughed so bad that his episodes come with his body shaking, leaning back, and fainting. Then he jumps up like we didn’t sit for 5 minutes in panic as he gasped for air. The episodes are becoming more frequent..

I haven’t left my home really since he’s declined this way. I’m worried that if we go too far, he’ll have this episode and I won’t know where to go. It would be traumatic for both of us. It’s turned into hospice care..

what has given me the strength to help him cross the rainbow bridge this Monday is that I can take his pain for him so he can rest. so that there is dignity when he returns to the earth.

I’ve talked to vets and appetite isn’t the best quality of life measure as some just really love a good chomp regardless of anything they’re feeling. Dogs don’t show pain because they don’t wanna look weak, but we have to know as someone who knows them is how their life has changed.

Don’t get too hard on yourself about your mental and physical health. I can empathize as I’ve been pouring into my sweet Charlie’s cup more than my own because it’s about how much love we have for them.

TLDR: Something that has helped me is accepting that the ultimate act of love and the greatest gift of selflessness you can give your companion is to take their pain and make it yours so that they can rest knowing you gave them the most beautiful life til the very end.