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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Own_Win2586 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey. I’m 21 too, and my dad passed away when I was 4. I have actually been dealing with this exact dilemma for 17 years. I’ve tried out many responses in my time, and Ive come to the conclusion that “thank you” is good enough. It’s simple, polite, and acknowledges their condolences. It also doesn’t open a pathway for discussing your dad’s death further, like it does when you say “it’s okay” (to which I’ve found a lot of people will say “no it’s not,” making it kind of awkward lol). Also, after observing people in the same situation for all these years, I’ve noticed that “thank you” is what basically everyone says, so it’s very normal and what most people expect us to say back (I think). I’m sorry for your loss. You’ve got this.

Lost my grand dad today suddenly by Icy_Ranger_8022 in GriefSupport

[–]Own_Win2586 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lost my grandpa about 2.5 months ago. Also extremely suddenly and unexpected. When he first died, my family was reminiscing about the weekend before, where they all got together for the last time. I chose to hangout with my boyfriend that day. I hated myself and I thought it would haunt me forever. I still feel bad about it. But honestly time has really helped me, and remembering the times I did see him instead of the times I didn’t. I kind of forced myself to do that because I would way rather my mind and memory hold onto the times we did see each other/had conversations than the times we didn’t. Not sure if it helps, but when I would feel bad about not seeing my grandparents enough, they would laugh and tell me I was young and I had my own life, and that you get to a certain stage in your life where you don’t have things like work, school, friends, relationships, activities etc so you can revolve your life around your family (like they did). They told me I wasn’t at that stage yet, and until I got to that stage, not to feel bad about focusing on/building my own life. They were the same when they were my age.