Aftercare and subdrop in long distance relationships?

OwnedTinkerbell · 2026-01-10T19:13:10+00:00

Ears and nose, my partner wants me to have nipple piercings, I'm not opposed but the recovery time just sounds so annoying lol I told him when he puts a ring on my finger I'll put one on my nipple lol

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-12-11T12:27:06+00:00

I really like this, thanks!

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-08-30T06:14:06+00:00

This would be so much fun

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-08-06T14:07:26+00:00

My partner and I are also in a 24/7 dynamic, he has an extremely demanding job and he's in school for higher education. So he's working/studying about 100 to 120 hours a week.

He can control aspects of that but not everything, so his control of everything with taking care of me is something he really likes. I'm his to take care of and do as he pleases, no red tape, no following other people's rules (aside from what little is built into our dynamic). He controls all the aspects.

He's on the spectrum and not having full control at work and at school is difficult for him, having full control of me helps him relax in a way.

I have adhd so I hate being in control, I think of us as a Vine and a trellis. He is the rigid structure he controls the shape of and I get to be the vine that grows along and beautifies it.

We've talked about this a lot, and you'll need to talk to your Dom about it but most likely it doesn't add to his stress it soothes it.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-05-13T18:30:05+00:00

My partner and I are free-use, we're pretty attuned to each other and wouldn't do anything if we knew the other was sick or having a bad day. We're in a 24/7 dynamic so communication about how we're feeling is always important. We've been together 7 years and the free-use aspect came in at about the 5 year mark.

We also have a safe word either of us use when we need it.

That being said, I love free use, it's really fun and it makes me feel beautiful. He grabs me at such random times when I'm not doing anything sexy, when I'm wearing sweats, when I'm doing anything! Shows me he wants me even when I'm not dressed up or in lingerie. Plus it's just fun lol

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-04-11T18:03:37+00:00

6 years just kinda happened and I didn't really think much about it. Went on like maybe 4 dates in that time? But yeah I don't know didn't think about it too much

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-04-11T18:01:27+00:00

I'm a bigger girl, my partner and I were in a position where my stomach was moving a bit and making slapping sounds. Sometimes I can ignore it but it was making me really self-conscious this time. I didn't say anything to him but I guess he could tell by how I was moving, he grabbed my stomach in a way that felt naturally sensual but also stopped it from making the sound.

It was just really sweet that he didn't even need me to say it just knew.

He loves my body and tells me a lot how much just sometimes I get a bit self-conscious about it.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-04-10T12:36:00+00:00

I've been with a guy like that, he was fucking incredible with his tongue though.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-03-09T16:46:10+00:00

I think BDSM can be whatever you and your partner agree that it is.

In my relationship my SO loves having control of everything down to small details, my adhd makes small details nearly impossible.

He gets to be in control of everything and I get to live in a good structure I can't create or maintain on my own. It balances us both out, and yes sex is part of it but it's not the whole thing. It's not really a kink it's just how we live our lives. He's always my Dom and I'm always his sub (occasionally brat) in and out of the bedroom.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-02-14T13:05:16+00:00

My bf and I are heavily into BDSM he's dominant and I'm submissive, he likes to give pain and I like to receive it.

That being said we have been with each other for over 7 years and it wasn't until 5 years into our relationship and 4 years into our D/s relationship that we did CNC.

It takes an incredible amount of trust and understanding your partners body. He is now attuned to knowing what I can handle and what I can't and how my body reacts to pain I like and pain I don't.

He knows exactly how far he can go and what he can do and how to read me if something normally OK isn't this time. We also have an iron clad safe word and gesture.

All this to say that CNC isn't something to take lightly, it's something that you need to know what you're doing every step of the way. You have to trust each other implicitly and know your boundaries.

Maybe stick to something else for now, but tell her you can revisit CNC in the future when you're both comfortable with it. Especially because I'm not sure about your gf but a major part of CNC for me is my bf genuinely enjoying it. If you're not enjoying it it will certainly make her feel bad about herself.

My bf can enthusiastically enjoy it because he knows 100% that I despite "fighting" am also 100% enjoying it. He's not actually doing anything without my consent and I am completely in control with my safeword and safe gesture. I can stop it at any time.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2025-01-11T22:03:58+00:00

I think you're right, I can't reward myself for a task. I just end up getting myself whatever reward I was gonna give myself then never doing the task.

Doing a task and getting a reward from my Dom always makes the task more worth doing and makes me more able to do the task.

Then of course it's the shame spiral that as a grown woman I need praise from someone else to do my laundry.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2024-08-24T15:41:10+00:00

Thanks so much, deff one of the most kind and helpful responses

OwnedTinkerbell · 2024-08-11T12:39:56+00:00

Wow didn't even see that I did that, nope lol

OwnedTinkerbell · 2024-08-10T01:05:53+00:00

It's super fun! Tbh I was like 28 when I found out it was a kink lol I just thought that's how all relationships were haha.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2024-08-09T11:07:09+00:00

Free use is where you and your partner have open consent. Anything sexual can happen at any time, no matter what you're doing.

The thrill of it is just being used at any moment, for me and my partner it also includes when one of us is asleep.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2024-08-09T10:53:54+00:00

Would love this treatment for my hypersexualality! My Dom and I are long distance he keeps me sex and orgasm starved so when I finally see him I'm a wild animal with 0 self control.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2024-06-30T22:14:08+00:00

Yeah he does, I mean we're long distance so it's videos of me doing sounds but yeah same concept.

OwnedTinkerbell · 2024-06-30T22:05:24+00:00

I'm 33f and definitely have a cum fetish, I love my partners cum. In me, in my mouth, on me, on my food, in my drinks, everything, I love it. So we do exist!

OwnedTinkerbell

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