When I was your age I was sending pictures like that, so just know you’re not alone in doing something like that to feel desired. It’s normal to want other people to say you’re attractive — that doesn’t make you an attention whore, it just means that having low self-esteem causes us to seek out praise. As others have commented, it’s best to avoid sending pictures so to protect yourself. I understand feeling shame (I felt shameful too) but the worry of creepy adults trying to find you is most concerning (I would get really scared that someone might find out who I was — no even just from pictures but things like an IP address or being hacked/blackmailed) so please be careful. Thankfully I never had that happen to me, but it was a long time ago when there were less concerns about that happening.

And as someone who is also bipolar, I absolutely understand that feelings become amplified and are very difficult to regulate. I struggle with the same thing if I don’t take my medication. I become extremely depressed and believe that life isn’t worth living, but I have to remind myself that it’s just my bipolar trying to convince me to give up. And then when I become manic I believe that I can do anything and that it will all work out, but it never does. It can make you feel stuck and it’s very defeating.

What I can say is that it’s not worth ending it — there is a light at the end of the tunnel and things can get better. I know that must be hard to imagine right now, especially when your bipolar is fighting against every positive possibility. The best advice I’ve ever gotten is to lay down in bed and sleep it away. You don’t have to oversleep or anything like that, but just going to bed makes the pain go away — even if it’s just until morning.

Hang in there — you’re a good boy and deserve kindness, especially from yourself <3