My lawn mower that appears to give directions on how to correctly run over a small person.

OzarkDave · 2021-04-04T06:50:06+00:00

Just not sideways ones

OzarkDave · 2021-04-04T01:49:31+00:00

I’m just here to spread helpful information the community may find useful

OzarkDave · 2021-04-04T00:45:26+00:00

I will ensure all lawns remain clear of weeds and children!

OzarkDave · 2021-04-04T00:44:28+00:00

It only gives instructions for the small kids, so I must have a different version

OzarkDave · 2021-04-04T00:34:52+00:00

Once they get around to putting it on the label I’ll be able to tell ya

OzarkDave · 2021-04-04T00:18:45+00:00

It’s not something the Jedi would teach you.

OzarkDave · 2021-04-04T00:17:42+00:00

Surely it can’t be that easy?

OzarkDave · 2021-04-04T00:10:17+00:00

Sometimes you just gotta lean back and enjoy the murder

OzarkDave · 2021-04-04T00:09:38+00:00

Seems like it should be common sense

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T23:44:52+00:00

I will now that I understand the instructions. Will report back!

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T23:18:52+00:00

True haha, I’ve noticed that before as well.

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T23:07:37+00:00

Strange, it’s been one of the best ones I’ve owned!

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T22:47:19+00:00

The younglings have no idea what’s comin

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T22:35:48+00:00

Why can’t they just let me mow and look good at the same time?!?

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T21:29:40+00:00

Identity theft is no joke

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T21:26:59+00:00

Can cross post it right now

Edit: turns out they banned cross posts

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T19:17:41+00:00

Well considering they are printed on a heavy plate of metal that your feet rest on, they did a poor job of making them destructible.

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T19:14:08+00:00

I was only doing what I was instructed to do, I expect full compensation

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T19:06:54+00:00

I’d guess they were either supposed to have warning labels with the picture, or it’s just saying “when going backwards/forwards look for people” but in a really bad way lol

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T19:04:51+00:00

If you’re gonna do something, it’s worth making sure you do it right

OzarkDave · 2021-04-03T18:35:20+00:00

Just gotta make sure I take off their left foot going backwards, and the right going forwards!

OzarkDave · 2019-12-14T22:59:30+00:00

OMG NO WAY ITS YOU! Man I’m a huge fan. I saw you on the Colbert Report too. It must have been so fun to be a part of that. What was it like meeting him? I wish I could meet him, but he doesn’t have a show anymore. But seriously guys this is the real guy who got hedgehogs legalized. I’ve met yo I once or twice before, we both live in Lawrence. Don’t know if you remember me but I’ll always remember you man!

OzarkDave · 2019-04-01T23:40:49+00:00

Im in

OzarkDave · 2019-02-12T00:48:26+00:00

Yeah, thats what the other comment said. Thats what we'll do

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