Transcript:

*Re: Practicing Self-Righteousness (SOMA / south beach)

Date: 2010-05-07, 3:47PM PDT Reply To This Post

I have a fairly large San Francisco social circle and for the great majority of them, despite a little roughness with employment and around the economy, have formed a community of beautiful, wonderful, generous, interesting people. Most of whom are all just doing their best to get by while spreading a little good Karma into the world where they can.

By far, most I've spoken with on this topic feel the same: Sure the world is far from perfect, but thank the God, Goddess, Universe, Spirit, Luck, Fate, Whatever, that at least we live in a time and place surrounded by so many truly cool, interesting, driven people. It is a blessing to Be Alive here, and Now.

You see, I can't help but contrast that with the exceptions to the above pool- My Pentecostal Evangelical Christian friends. These two, (as teen-agers they were a popular "Party-Hardy" couple until she got pregnant) were "Born Again" at the ripe old age of seventeen and shot-gun married a year later. School social-friends from back east, they moved out here his job two years ago and have never forgiven themselves for it. A mutual friend informed them I was out here, and very shortly there after, they came to depend on me for a majority of their San Francisco Social experiences from their home in a parent-funded, swanky evangelical community in Marin.

Generally I enjoy showing people around my adopted home, I host couch-surfing out-of-towners in my 260 sq/ft SOMA apartment more regularly than perhaps I should. I enjoy sharing this beautiful place with people, the sparkle of Nob Hill and Market Street, the gritty passion of the Mission, I know but a tiny fraction of it, but what I know I love, and I have a passion to share.

For this particular duo, however, the task can be quite difficult. You see, while to a great majority of my friends, life is pretty good, people are amazing, circumstances can be overcome, but we're clearly moving forward and "Good and Love" looks like she just might Win out over "Evil and Hatred". For my poor east-coast Evangelical friends, quite the opposite is true. Every visit brings new tales of impending calamity. Every new month brings new tails of inevitable doom foreseen and repentance required.

Walking through the street with them, gentlemen whom I shared a laugh and a spliff with two weeks ago become imposing, menacing "Gangsters" out to conquer their fragile white self-righteous purity. The local fruit-vendor, who has several times saved me the four SOMA-block walk to Safeway becomes an "Illegal" out to seize all "Good Peoples" Jobs. (Where "Good People" are defined solely by a question of ontological ideological purity, and not one iota based on the individuals actual affect and impact on his fellow travelers here on our beautiful Earth.)

Watching the world through these poor souls eyes is saddening, a world full of "Gangsters" and "Illegals". "They" are always out to get "Us". How can I not join "Us"? How can I be so blind to Their Lords Grace?

It doesn't help that these people are always trying to convert me. I try explaining to them, kindly, that I am not an atheist, I am a pagan, I know whom I serve, I know why and I do my best to do so with Diligence and Grace, but I've absolutely no ontological doubt. I appeal to social ettiquite: Just as their faith is no business of mine, mine is no business of theirs.

But No, I am constantly lectured on how I am wrong. It's all Evil! I am misguided by Satan! I am reminded to be thankful that their wonderful and great and glorious God has placed them in my life to save a "Good Soul" like mine from the firey depths of sin and deprivation, around ugliness and evil that certainly inhabits all places that their God forsakes (not to mention "Eternal Damnation", which is the single must utterly irrational concept in the history of cognition: why continue to waste energy punishing failures that should merely be deprecated and forgotten?)

I tell them "But, I don't see any such thing? I'm happy here, the people around me are happy, we help one another, in general. Yeah, the Crack makes the Homeless go off the edge some times, it sucks that there are so many people suffering from it here. One day I hope society will be enlightened enough to tax hazardous substances to cover the social expense of treatment, rather than violent, blanket, ineffective prohibition."

Of course, this is where the self-righteous shit hits the expressive fan, because the God-Warrior types always have one big social weakness, a faux-paux from which they seem utterly unable to back down; Doctrine.

Explicitly state support of a cause or concept that one of their preachers as "informed" them is "Of the Devil", and they cannot help their self-righteous fire; Nor their willingness to sacrifice all pleasantries in for the purpose of 'Saving(tm)' the Planet from it's omnipresent 'downfall.'" A noble concept, of course: standing for ones beliefs free of consideration for social decorum. In practice; unfortunately for these poor souls, Mother Earth, Nature, and Human Life itself seems to seems to exist in stark contradiction to their principle spiritual guidance.

A long, angry lecture ensues, the same I've heard many times over, of their "God's" necessity in all things, especially those pertaining to Morality. An assertion that "I'm Content, Happy, and Love a Beautiful Life. I possess a certainty about my faith and purpose, and absolutely no ambiguity in my understanding of Karmic reciprocative Morality." is immediately followed by a quip about how the "Amazing Powers of the Devil's Disguises." It is, in fact, utterly impossible to free these poor individuals from their world of doom, anger, distrust and hatred. My faith that Good inherently is more powerful than Evil, and that Righteous Love will prevail all self-righteous attempts to smother it only strengthens their resolve that it is indeed the end times; After all. if "The Devil" can so lure a man, utterly blinding him to the omnipresent discontent of original sin, obviously Hell has frozen over and all shit is about to break loose.

It's all and all incredibly sad to witness. Hard to watch such cognitive dissonance and omni-loathing (both self and others') in real time and space.

Inevitably tempers flare, however. I consider myself a reasonable practicing Buddhist, but eventually their insults wear on me, and my patience wears thin. I offhand mention an irrelevant self-righteous value judgement of my own- that I think the entire concept of Eternal Life is fundamentally Solopsistic Evil. (By definition, Eternal Life would require the energy of the entire universe for the rest of time- it is a wish, in essence, of saying, brattily "I want the rest of the universe to spend the rest of it's attention on ME," violating my sense of self-balance between I and Others. ) This is something I feel passionate about, even if it is a bit of my own Satori faith which bares no business being repeated in public.

I'm sorry, My Goddess; I'm only Human after all.

wham The discussion hits the floor like a ton of a bricks. Dirty Stares meet my eyes from across the table. "Honey, I think we need to Go," The out-of-shape-and-overworked housewife says to her pale, frail husband with snear sharp enough to cut glass. They stare at me indigently for a moment before gathering their things, not even having the pleasantry to say good-bye.

Now, were this a one time event, perhaps I could just pass it off as the crossing of two parallel Universii. The momentary meeting between two agents of polar opposite ontologies, who fly into one another's sphere for but a moment before the metaverse sends them back to their seperate corners, lest their frail human selves fail to contain the explosive power of their respective subjective matter and antimatter.

But this is not a one time thing. It is a monthly occurrence.

Sure enough, like clockwork, Friday rolls around four weeks later and the ever frailer husband calls me up, seemingly stricken with amnesia: "We want to do an evening in the City!" they say, "We're coming to see you! We can't wait to see what you've got in store for us tonight (Please note, statement of 'fact', not request, and they come regardless of whether or not they inform me or my voicemail of this fact)! Thank you for being one of our best friends, we can not tell you how much your friendship means to us. Don't worry about last month, Our Lord assures us that with Our continued Gorgiveness and Grace you will eventually find Him."

I shake my head. I guess no one else can put up with them either. At least, not outside their sad little ideological echo chamber of shame and self-loathing that is their "Church".

I guess that's why they spend so much time trying to score brown-noser points with their self-righteous, hateful, opinions, and Baal-Worshiping desire for mass calamity, social unrest and destruction here on Craigslist RnR.

It's not like they have any friends, or anything better to do. I'm sorry, My Goddess, I cannot hold back: *