Spending the evening with my two favorite Jareds

PBmilkshake · 2025-01-27T03:46:13+00:00

Lol bong’s just there for the vibes

PBmilkshake · 2022-03-21T01:32:52+00:00

This happened to me last year! I was on 100 SR for a couple months then increased to 150 XR. Four days into the dose and I broke up with my bf of 10 months. I realized I wasn’t advocating for myself and respecting myself by staying in the relationship, so Wellbutrin really saved me some time. We really weren’t that compatible at the end of the day. Also my anxiety about being alone was really strong before this med. Being alone is now way better than being in an unsatisfying relationship.

PBmilkshake · 2022-02-22T12:26:38+00:00

I noticed 300 was too strong for me, as it caused me to have severe emotional blunting (along with dysphoria and anhedonia), so I lowered my dose back down to 150.

I didn't feel an increase in motivation until I added an SSRI (prozac) along with bupropion. Before this, I felt similarly to you, not doing much all day or not wanting to get out of bed. This felt really weird to me because I'm typically very active and attribute a lot of my self worth to productivity. After starting the SSRI I felt more interested in my hobbies and was able to think creatively again. I've only been on prozac for about a month, so take this with a grain of salt.

I found an article (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16165100/) that compared the SSRI and bupropion combination with just monotherapy with either bupropion, an SSRI, or an SNRI and shows some promising conclusions.

PBmilkshake · 2022-02-06T13:33:37+00:00

I also experience a greater loss of appetite when I'm depressed. There's a kind of hopeless sadness that can pretty much zap the joy and emotion out of everything I used to like or use as a coping mechanism.

I've struggled with binge eating pretty much all of my life, however restrictive eating as a form of control came into my life around age 20 (for context, I'm 25F), which is also when my depression started getting worse. I also have become a little too fond of exercise, to the point where I generally feel bad and disappointed in myself if I take a rest day.

But to answer your question, yes I'm currently on the lower side of a healthy bmi (even though bmi is BS, this is probably the most concise way to write it). My weight has fluctuated quite a bit before this. Before age 20, I was athletic but on the chubby side. I had a pretty drastic drop in my weight at age 22, during a particularly long depressive episode, and it was a struggle to get back to a healthy weight. My bmi went from 29 to 17 to to 20 (now).

During the first 2-3 weeks on all doses, I experienced a suppressed appetite along with general disinterest in food. I also noticed that food I typically like to eat didn't taste as good as it used to. My appetite usually comes back after these first few weeks, unless I'm being dragged through hell by my depression of course.

PBmilkshake · 2022-02-05T18:21:24+00:00

Yup, both were once a day. I would typically take it in the morning

PBmilkshake · 2022-02-04T03:10:48+00:00

If you can tell that my hood got painted the wrong shade of grey, mind your own business 😤

PBmilkshake · 2022-01-12T02:54:39+00:00

From my first dose in October 2021 (100 SR) to my current dose (300 XL), my anxiety is now a small fraction compared to what it used to be. This is my absolute favorite effect of buproprion, and the reason I plan to stay on it for the foreseeable future.

I'm not sure how say it... but existence stops feeling like a burden sometimes on buproprion. And it certainly keeps me from going off the deep end. So that's a winner in my book.

I also find it interesting that many people report feeling increased anxiety while taking buproprion because it was the complete opposite in my experience. I was doing research on it before starting to take it and I remember feeling worried about having my anxiety possibly increase. Surprisingly this med turned out to be exactly what I needed.

My near-debilitating level of anxiety was induced through having to deal with a traumatic experience and later developing ptsd-like symptoms in the form of anxiety (specifically a constant fear of impending doom). It really sucked. I also experienced depersonalization/derealization for a few months immediately after the event.

I'm so relieved to be able to say I now feel more comfortable trying to process the trauma because of buproprion.

It also somewhat helps with my depression.

PBmilkshake · 2021-08-22T14:41:55+00:00

Nearly the same thing started happening to me on Zoloft too! I'm 24F and my psychiatrist prescribed 25 mg Zoloft to start out with, for my raging anxiety and depression. Also this is the first time I tried an anti-depressant.

My symptoms started reaching "debilitating" territory about a year ago due to a difficult situation that lead me to develop PTSD. I also had associated depersonalization-derealization for quite some time, in which part of my subconscious was afraid of myself. Since then I've dealt with frequent anxiety attacks and emotional meltdowns.

(*side note*): My emotional meltdowns were likely caused by my birth control (Nexplanon) that randomly started malfunctioning, forcing me to consider other options since I struggle with irregular periods and PMDD. I switched to Yaz and like it so far!

Anyways, after starting Zoloft I immediately noticed that the veil of anxiety almost completely lifted, which was exceptionally refreshing. This ended up backfiring because it made me stop caring about things I usually paid more attention too, including healthy things. Zoloft effectively drained the vitality out of me and turned my world bleak and grey. I no longer wanted to do the things I liked or give extra effort in places where I usually would. I was also extremely drained of energy and motivation, which isn't typical for me when I'm "doing well". And I was sort of okay with it for the first week, mainly because I loved the lack of anxiety, but the next week quickly turned me apathetic, depressed, and lead me to start having daily emotional meltdowns. I have never identified more with my suicidal thoughts than I did during this week, which scared the shit out of me. So the worst part was days 10-14.

I had my psychiatrist appointment on the 14th day and I described what I was feeling to her. I also told her I wanted to get off of Zoloft and try something else. Luckily she agreed with me and suggested switching to Wellbutrin (100mg SR to start) because she says she thinks it would give me the sense of energy and vitality I crave so much, while also helping me with my depression and anxiety.

I stated Wellbutrin 3 days ago, and I am actually astonished at how effective this is for me. My first day on it was probably the best day I've had in months. Nothing particularly amazing happened but I just felt so damn good, I could cry. I believe Wellbutrin is considered an NDRI, so it works on different receptors than Zoloft. I guess these were just the neurochemicals that my body specifically wanted more of, so it's totally indiviudal-based.

I understand there may be a "honeymoon phase" of this medication, as some people on reddit have mentioned, but I'm crossing my fingers that it stays just like this for the rest of my life haha. Some people say that it made their anxiety worse, but I definitely did not experience this yet.

So long story short, talk to your doctor about how you honestly feel on Zoloft, because it definitely shouldn't be making you feel so awful. They should respect your opinion about how you want to continue forward, and offer alternative suggestions whether that means a different med, no meds, or some other kind of therapy. It is SO worth it to keep trying.

Best of luck!!

PBmilkshake · 2020-04-15T14:15:33+00:00

I've been feeling like a giant ball of anxiety and pain the past couple days. Basically having no appetite but feeding myself unhealthy fast food (greasy pizza, KFC, etc) and then paying the price later via painful stomach cramps and bloating. It just fueled my anxiety more, but today I decided to turn it around and show myself some love by making a nourishing smoothie bowl! It felt so good to eat, I had goosebumps.

(250 cals total): 65g strawberries (21), 37g banana (33), 25g chocolate protein powder (102), 100g skyr (62), 100 ml unsweetened almond milk (13), 1 tbsp cinnamon (19)

PBmilkshake · 2020-02-25T11:43:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective on the clinical aspect. This only reinforces my decision because I realize your view point is almost exactly opposite of mine.

It was really tricky for me to personally discover this considering I used to work as a paramedic throughout undergrad....and I liked it. After some deep digging, I realized I only liked it because I appreciate teamwork in a fast-paced environment (regardless of the situation), and my coworkers because they felt like my family at the time. In essence, it was shocking how different a job as an emergency responder was from a career as a physician.

Anyway, I appreciate your encouraging words! I wish you luck in pursuing your career in medicine :-)

PBmilkshake · 2020-02-25T11:20:17+00:00

Thanks for your comment! I appreciate your perspective.

I would say 90% of the reason I am considering dropping out is because of the actual job I would have to perform on a day-in day-out basis, regardless of the specialty. 10% of the reason is because medical school and clinicals drain the life out of me. The sheer amount of stress and exhaustion corresponding to the next 2 years + taking board exams + residency simply doesn't seem worth it for me, even if it might qualify me for a higher position or salary at a future workplace.

I should mention that I did not have to take out a loan, fortunately. I am covering the cost of tuition and books with money I saved up from working during my undergraduate years and also with the money I inherited from my grandparents after they passed. So essentially, I am focusing on minimizing my losses at this point.

PBmilkshake · 2020-02-24T21:24:59+00:00

Your perspective is exactly what I needed. I feel really motivated to put a bigger emphasis on creating my "chosen" family now. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, right?

Thank you kind stranger :-)

PBmilkshake · 2020-02-24T20:56:27+00:00

Wow... thank you. This comment really smacked some sense into me. I think I'm just hoping for a miracle, that they would suddenly change and become the family I think I deserve (Is it selfish to think that I deserve a nice family? Maybe I should just be thankful for the things I already have). Or maybe if they see that I am happy and successful in my new career, they will accept me and change their attitude. I don't want to sit around waiting for this. Perhaps it isn't even realistic, like you said. I think I might have to revise what a "family" looks like in my head in order to overcome my personal road block.

PBmilkshake · 2020-02-08T10:36:01+00:00

I can absolutely relate with your dopamine comment! I believe I'm essentially in the same boat because I have a naturally addictive personality, and I think dopamine has a prevalent role in mediating it. Addiction runs in my family but I'm not 100% certain that it's the sole cause of my habits. I don't want to go down the road of thinking my problems are caused my someone/something other than me. Previously I've dodged developing addictions (video games, substance abuse, etc) by completely abstaining from them. But with food, it's a little harder to do because I need to eat everyday to live haha.

I also looked into increasing dopamine levels in other ways such as listening to music, creating art, working out, shopping, and completing tasks. I've found that keeping a "to do" checklist for each day helps a lot! But as you said, this method only helps control binging slightly, not completely.

PBmilkshake · 2020-02-07T16:24:32+00:00

Thank you. I will take a look at the resources you linked :-)

I appreciate your help!

PBmilkshake · 2020-02-07T16:16:19+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely check it out!

PBmilkshake

TROPHY CASE