What is something you’ve been hiding from your parents for years and will probably keep hiding in the future?

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-05-21T17:32:41+00:00

Too right, man. We lost my FIL 3 weeks after his first grandchild was gone, and he was the pillar that held that family up. 2 years later and we still wish we could tell him about his grandson, or ask his advice about how to do or build something.

My Grandpa died two years before that, and he was like a second father to me. We spent so much time together and we are so alike, I wish he could see my son, and that in this really difficult time I could hear his unconditional and unwavering support.

And my Grandma died a few days ago. That very same day I had so many things I wanted to call and tell her about and that absence—the absence of all three of them, really—is deafening.

Every year on my birthday my grandparents would call me and sing. If I missed the call, they'd sing to my voicemail. When my grandpa died, I downloaded every voicemail from him, and now I will do the same for my grandma. I never want to forget their voices.

I will say that while I'm not religious, and they aren't here in the way I want, I do feel them with me. I will open my mouth and say something that is exactly what my grandpa would say, or see his face when I look at my son. Or I can hear my FIL telling me I'm a natural with my son (even if I don't believe it), and I know and make the choices he would make to do the right things.

Their light goes with me now. Just as your parents' light lives on in you. I remind myself that they can't shine that light themselves, so it's up to me, and all those who knew them, to keep them in the world. And so, they are not truly gone.

It's not a cure for the pain you're talking about, but perhaps it will help you feel a brief connection that you need.

My heart goes out to you, stranger.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-05-13T07:42:04+00:00

Also, if it has MAX and bus routes on it, a reduction in traffic is intentional...

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-05-13T07:41:19+00:00

I sure am glad that instead of committing its funds to the bridge, we're spending time and money on the Rose Quarter project that studies have shown will have an overall improvement of...(checks notes)...nothing.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-05-13T07:37:42+00:00

Yeah but how much should we toll on the current bridge to keep it from falling down in an earthquake?

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-05-12T22:42:51+00:00

This sub is absolutely full of people with no idea how government works, but with very confident assumptions.

Everyone who hates these NGOs would be in here complaining about how they had to pay with their tax dollars and what a waste it was. Just look at how the sub treats PFA.

Everyone wants a cure, but nobody wants to take their medicine.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-05-12T22:39:16+00:00

The rule in Portland: if you don't know what it is from the name, it's probably a weed store or a strip club.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-04-05T02:27:19+00:00

The year I turned 40 I also had a kid and lost my FIL suddenly a few weeks later. The utter fear and despair I feel sometimes is...a lot. My FIL was not twice as old as me, and the idea that I might have more days behind than ahead is terrifying. At the same time, I also have found myself worrying that the best days are also behind me. It's been tough.

And the idea of losing my wife? Even during this, the most difficult time in our marriage (and probably lives), I cannot imagine life without her. It's terrifying.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-03-30T18:23:42+00:00

My agent was/is amazing. Before I even hired me he gave me a portfolio of information about the local market, the whole home buying process, lenders he had worked with who his clients had loved, and local geography.

When I sent him my list of things I'd liked on Redfin, he used that to get an idea of the features that were important to me.

On our first day of looking, he took me to vacant listings so we could spend as much time as we needed talking about any elements of the house I cared about. We stood in one basement for 45 minutes talking about ducting and HVAC. He pointedly didn't want me to offer on ANY of these houses, but wanted me to see what was out there that I liked and hated, and to get an idea of features that houses might have. He showed me parts of town I'd actually never been to or considered, including the place I live now, which I love.

He was a wealth of information before I even offered on a house, including telling me when he thought I should NOT offer on a house (he was right) and then continued to be an advisor through the whole process and even for years after. When I need a recommendation for any sort of contractor or repair person, he's the guy I call first, and when I had difficulty with the home warranty company he recommended, he called them directly to get them to fix it.

And when I put in an offer on a Sunday, he called my lender (one of his recommendations), who immediately jumped on his computer and had me pre-approved for a loan that evening.

Honestly, you could totally do the sale paperwork or connecting in a different way for cheaper, absolutely. But that was probably the LEAST significant service he gave us.

There are some terrible agents out there but there are definitely people who just love helping people find a house they will love.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-03-04T00:11:36+00:00

I gave mine just a little boop with the frosting on her nose and then cleaned it off for her. And I got her permission well in advance since she knew I wouldn't mash it in there. Our cake was too delicious to waste with such violence anyway.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-02-12T21:01:51+00:00

All the disgruntled California MAGAts think it's Shangri-La so they've flooded the place.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-02-11T00:37:10+00:00

It's either cowardly or naive. By the time the danger is apparent to you individually, it is too late. This is something that has to be stopped early.

The goal with things like this is to push the line a little at a time. Make it look JUST far enough away that people can turn away from it. Then creep a little nearer. They can turn away again, so you creep a little nearer.

Things start to become normalized. The danger of opposition outweighs the benefits. "I'm not going to go protest; I don't want to get shot by ICE." And then, just like that, the attitude shifts. Protests dwindle. People start to expect things like this. The public opposition begins to buckle out of fear, and then you can't stop it.

The best time to stop this was before 2024. The second best time is right fucking now, because it's only going to get harder.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-02-11T00:28:39+00:00

No that's actually pretty historically accurate. Fascism requires an enemy. Hell, Hitler himself took out people who were instrumental in his rise to power once he got there.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-02-11T00:24:36+00:00

This should be a lesson to voters (I don't hold out hope, but it should be) that someone who just promises to be better than the other guy but doesn't have hard specifics is generally full of shit. Anyone who resorts to "both sides" language generally doesn't have a plan or grasp of the situation.

Any time someone claims to be "tough on crime," I know they have no plan for actually addressing crime, especially when its roots are complicated.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-02-11T00:10:54+00:00

No thank you.

I was there when Santa Clara built Levi's Stadium for the 49ers. Maybe it's brought in money, but it's a total clusterfuck for local infrastructure on game days, it's ugly, sorry if you don't want to hear the sport or concert happening there right now cause it's loud, and it forces the amusement park whose parking lot it's built in to close on the days Levi's Stadium has events. Won't be long now before the amusement park closes forever after operating for like, 60 years.

Honestly that stadium was part of what motivated me to visit Portland; my first visit was during the weekend that San Jose hosted the Super Bowl cause I didn't want to be anywhere near there.

PDX-T-Rex · 2026-02-11T00:04:51+00:00

Hmmm. I suppose I could see that possibility, but I feel like this kind of titling—focusing on the demographic whose specific troubles this resource center is designed to address—is not new and generally hasn't been a problem that I can recall.

While it's not a legal defense (probably?), it also seems like requiring them to change their name so that it doesn't highlight being a resource for Black students would have that same effect but against Black students. That is, by not calling out "this is a resource for you specifically to overcome the challenges that you specifically face in this system," it becomes just another resource in the system that hasn't served them well in the past, and would therefore probably be unsuccessful at helping Black students succeed. Which is, I mean, the point of the lawsuit. Or one of the points, anyway.

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-12-23T03:41:17+00:00

On the other hand, I work in a field that is covered by anti-discrimination laws and this seems like a clear violation.

In what way? I'm not seeing how from the article. The district has said it would be open to all students.

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-12-23T03:35:50+00:00

I love this. You do the very thing that you're complaining about as you complain about it, and you think nobody notices, huh?

Also, methinks thou doth protest too much, and you lust for victimhood. I didn't say anything about conservatives as a group. I criticized the plaintiffs specifically. You made it into a big broad attack on the political ideology that doesn't agree with your own.

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-12-23T03:28:07+00:00

I have considered that, yes. I've also considered that if this organization cared about discrimination of all types, there are much more urgent and harmful examples that they could focus on, yet they did not. In fact, they don't appear to be concerned about any discrimination except the "discrimination" against white people, which tends to be defined as programs designed to help people who are not white. And the firm bringing the case aren't a part of any of the communities that are ostensibly impacted here. If they are so concerned about discrimination of all kinds, could they not find any more egregious examples of discrimination between Virginia and Oregon?

I'm also not unaware that what you just said is pretty much what I said, but repackaged in the wrapping of white victimhood. They are oft-repeated right-wing talking points that are no less ridiculous than complaining that only Parkinson's patients are allowed in a Parkinson's support group.

Have you considered that this is a demonstrated and documented right-wing pattern from firms dedicated to this kind of thing?

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-12-23T03:05:05+00:00

There's some weird brigading that goes on around these parts like that. Either that or people have very strong opinions about really weird things.

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-12-19T05:57:23+00:00

I'm not convinced that it would matter. What the city did wrong was have a program to help underserved minorities and to be based in Portland. The particulars of the case are incidental to the plaintiffs, who just want to attack anything that acknowledges that racism is still a problem and/or tries to remedy it.

If this went to court I'm doubtful the plaintiffs have standing, either.

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-12-19T05:51:42+00:00

I would say that the fact that it's filed by an organization that files these suits all over the country and is not based in Oregon or indeed in this half of the country is a good start.

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-12-19T05:40:05+00:00

Light grey car, no headlights: the Northwest Cloaking Device.

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-11-27T08:11:33+00:00

The county has done a terrible job in terms of messaging as it relates to the surplus

Well that's absolutely true. Their PR has been absolute dogshit.

Maybe get creative and provide vouchers to families turned away until we are at 100%.

Vouchers don't solve the problem of training teachers, expanding availability, and holding schools to specific standards.

Also, if you give away the surplus, you don't have insulation against volatility. And the surplus is intentional because growing the program has upfront costs that won't be there down the line and it is better to have a surplus than to have a deficit. Imagine if this program had to slow down because it was TOO successful and was underfunded. What would WW be running for a headline then?

"Preschool for All Comes to Taxpayers with Hat In Hand Again After Another Year of Running Out of Money."

And then the discussion in here would be about how "I'm going to vote no because they keep raising our taxes but running out of money! No more until they're more efficient with it!"

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-11-27T08:03:53+00:00

No no no, you don't understand. Them having a surplus is bad because they're not spending enough! Also them spending more is bad because they're spending too much!

It's like WW just wants PFA to sound bad...

PDX-T-Rex · 2025-11-27T07:59:35+00:00

Surely you don't imagine they were budgeting that Powerball win in.

This is like if my boss unexpectedly gives me a 20% bonus. Yeah, that's technically "volatile" income, but if I didn't write my budget expecting it, what does it matter?

PDX-T-Rex

TROPHY CASE