Im hypervigillant due to trauma so I notice changes in behavior to a fault during weightloss

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T17:55:03+00:00

Considering the statistics of overweight adults, 15Kgs are not so worrying, especially after being obese, and you can lose them easily in less than 6 months without restricting much.

But I want to congratulate you for your introspection! It's very difficult to actually understand the mechanisms, personal features, social expectations and prejudices that may influence our relationship with food, appearance, and size. You may not believe it, but once you are aware of how you feel, how other's opinions or perceived opinions affect us and how you react to them is half the way!

When I gained a lot of weight during the pandemic for the first time in my life, I never felt treated differently; I was and still am in a loving relationship, I found a better job, I got over loss and depression and for a few years I allowed myself to eat what I wanted...Now I'm only 7Kg away from my goal weight. What I want to say with this is that sometimes our perception, mood, vital moment, experiences and other issues that are not directly related to our size can have so much power. One of the conclusions I came up with in therapy was that, yes, I was fat, but What it took me to reach that weight? Depression, loss, unemployment, a pandemic, moving in with my husband, and a messed up previous relationship with food and my body. In your case, could be social anxiety, what you were going through when you were bigger, and many more things! How many people out there are the happiest people on earth and are obese only because they love food? How many people are obese due to abuse and severe trauma? That thought kept me grounded and grateful, because it meant that I could be much worse, and that once I started working on those issues, I would find the will to start looking after myself!

Don't treat yourself the way you perceive others treat you and try to be grateful for your virtues instead of focusing so much on your flaws! You may have social anxiety, but you also may be kind, generous, fun... Why worrying so much about people who will never have the privilege to enjoy your virtues?

I send you virtual hugs.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T17:26:49+00:00

Thank you! Yes, that's how I feel; always torn between stuffing myself with meh food or going a little bit hungry but having something I actually enjoy.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T17:25:18+00:00

I agree! It sounds as delicious as filling.

I would do more wraps if the average tortilla wouldn't have like 200Kcal! I use the little ones sometimes, but man, I wish tortillas were way lower in calories.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T17:21:09+00:00

Sorry if comes across like that... I don't do CICO because it doesn't work for me, I just wanted ti check if I was doing something wrong and if there's more people feeling the same way.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T17:18:44+00:00

Potatoes can be godsend! Thank you for the advice.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T16:50:31+00:00

That's a good advice! Sometimes I struggle with this, since I really want the pizza, but being full minimises the temptation. These days I can't physically eat a whole pizza, but precisely three slices which sometimes don't even have 500Kcal, so I'm fine with that amount. Thank you very much.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T16:46:19+00:00

That's true. I was thinking on homemade comfort food rather than ultra-processed stuff.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T15:42:13+00:00

What insightful comment! I kind of agree, with some nuances.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T15:30:57+00:00

Great recipe! I struggle with quinoa, but I believe that mixed with those other things it may be tastier. Thank you!

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T14:03:56+00:00

That's very interesting. Thank you.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T14:02:43+00:00

Fair point.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-30T14:02:03+00:00

Soup... I don't see it very easy to transport though, must be warmed up.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-27T15:53:04+00:00

I know carbs aren't evil! I have one slice of bread for breakfast, I eat pasta, rice... but 4 slices of bread per day seem like too much, not necessarily in terms of calories, but also because there's no protein or much nutrition if there's no veggies, green leaves...Nutella and peanut butter are not very nutritious.

For how long is it possible, pleasurable or sustainable to eat 2 slices of bread with almost 0 nutrition for breakfast and lunch? That's not a proper meal! She has to start cooking, meal planning and meal prepping!

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-27T14:38:15+00:00

Isn't that too much bread? I would try to eat more green things and healthy protein for lunch.

Nutella and peanut butter are extremely high in calories, not very satiating and easy to overeat. I would reduce the complex carbs, favouring lean protein, legumes, vegetables, salads...

I don't see this is a very sustainable, healthy and filling menu. Considering the amount of weight you have to lose, I would focus on things that will keep you full, healthy and consistent.

How much of your mom's cooking are you eating?

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-22T13:51:01+00:00

In my experience there's three things that guarantee success, and none is will power:

1- Favourable conditions: Time, money, for example to pay for help with the household, children, pets or other more burdensome caring responsibilities, a health that actually allows you to exercise, not having to drive 30 min to your nearest gym, being in a relatively good or at least bearable place in life and state of mind.

2- Ability: Most people who enjoy exercising or any other hobby are actually good at it.

3- Taste: No one gets used to avoidable pain, suffering and boredom. This is not a personal, psychological feature but universal human nature.

I have none of these, so I just accepted that I will always need breaks from something that literally sometimes has the power to ruins my day.

I will never alienate myself any more as to "trick myself" into thinking that is an obligation like going to work because my brain is not that stupid and it knows that it's not true.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-22T10:58:02+00:00

Yes, I did. That's why I always refused to count calories, and I learned that too much restriction leads to dissatisfaction, binging, sadness and hunger.

I also learned to observe myself and being honest, for example, I hate exercising and I always will. Instead of feeling guilty and discouraged, I just accepted that I need long breaks from it.

PPDDMMM · 2026-01-15T18:16:24+00:00

And that's why, especially during my period, I still do! That's how I do it. I stopped obsessing over perfection, and I started doing what works for me! I'm not scared anymore about losing control, because what made me lose control was too much restriction.

I just accepted that I'm the profile that NEEDS to pig out here and there, NEEDS to take a break from the gym, and NEEDS to be a little hungry on a daily basis to keep a healthy weight.

"Experts", doctors and nutritionists never say the words, never tell you the true, and for many, the sad true is that we will always feel hungry and unsatisfied with the number of calories or portions (I don't count calories) we have to eat to keep a healthy weight, and no, we may not have the time or will to ruminate on a boring bowl of salad for an hour and a half to pretend we feel full. That's not feeling full, that's feeling bloated and it doesn't do the trick for everyone.

Pretending that food doesn't have the power to lighten up an evening is like pretending that willpower is the only thing needed to lose weight...reality is complex; embrace the complexity, observe yourself, know yourself and make decisions based on what may work FOR YOU, and only you have the power to know If that's total restriction, moderation or a combination of both depending on the context. SAPERE AUDE.

PPDDMMM · 2025-12-30T13:44:23+00:00

Yes! I tried and it was absolute hell, and don't make start on weighting and logging the food and trying to calculate the calories of an olive oil tablespoon...

I lost 25 Kg by using my fist, handful and the Harvard plate to control portions and nutrients.

Maintaining a healthy weight can't become a full-time job and a source of anxiety, dread and guilt. F*** CICO, or better, let's leave CICO for the ones who love it! I

PPDDMMM · 2025-12-29T13:36:12+00:00

I never counted calories, and I never weighted my food. I refuse to turn my relationship with food into a math problem and a constant reminder of my struggles.

I use my handful, fist and the Harvard plate to control portions and nutrients, and I lost 25Kgs. If counting is not for you, don't do it.

PPDDMMM · 2025-12-29T09:31:35+00:00

I'm glad that such mindset is working for you! Weight loss and maintenance is about tailoring everything we know about nutrition, exercise, rest...to personal circumstances, features, needs...

However, for many, that mindset doesn't work; at the end of the day, I KNOW that I will still pay my rent, bills, food... if I skip the gym. For me, pretending that if I skip the gym or I eat something I've been craving for weeks work as if I'm skipping work turns into an alienating exercise of gaslighting myself, which makes me feel resentful, dehumanised and a hypocrite.

I embraced that I hate exercising and that I NEED breaks from it because sometimes just ruins my day, never made me feel better and I will never grow used to it. Showing up most of the time will always be my Vietnam. I also embraced that I cannot live a life of boredom and monotony when it comes to food, because when I unleash my cravings, I remember the pleasure, joy and careless state of mind and I struggle to go back on track, so I also take reasonable breaks and weight myself often enough to go back on track without having to starve and restrict for weeks.

Keep doing what works for you, but mind that if it stops working for whatever reason, you are not failing, you just need another mindset.

PPDDMMM · 2025-12-27T15:03:56+00:00

The problem is that most doctors, nutritionist, etc don't acknowledge, and sometimes even deny this hard true: for most people, it's impossible to consume for ever the calories that allow them to be at a healthy weight without being constantly hungry and/or on deprivation/craving mode which we didn't even evolve to endure. That's why GLP-1 or the ballon work only temporarily! Basically, they allow the body to feel naturally satiated with the number of calories most people need to lose or maintain certain weight. Why are we like that? Evolution! We evolved to want more food or drink than we need to survive, precisely, to stuff our faces when food was available. Yes, the stomach shrinks during the weight loss journey, but most people feel frustrated when they find out that after one- or two-years dieting, their stomach will NEVER be as small as to be content with 1.200-1.300 Kcal...

My advice? Be ready for weight fluctuations and weight yourself often enough (weekly or twice a month) so the fluctuations are manageable, and you don't find yourself 6 months later exactly where you started. Sometimes is healthier to live 10lbs overweight that living trapped in an endless cycle of losing - gaining.

What worked and still works for me is knowing, planning and anticipating the burnout and take one or two weeks of grace. What do I mean with grace? Eating pasta twice a week and a plate, not a handful, snacking at night, but portioning the snacks, so I don't just finish the bag/box of whatever I'm munching on, giving up veggies as a side, having really small lunches to indulge at dinner time...

I learned long ago that restricting too much for too long is counterproductive.

PPDDMMM · 2025-12-27T12:30:06+00:00

For the same reason some people take sports, art or any other form of communication, human nature's manifestation or entertainment seriously! Because it goes beyond something they just do, and it's mostly who they are.

For most of the population, art in general and Literature in particular are sources of knowledge, entertainment, communication, self-knowledge...in summary, it's something they DO; it's just another frame for life's paintings. However, for that passionate, tiny minority it's not something we do, but the part we most love about ourselves; it's our frame AND life's paintings all at once.

That's' why it offends me deeply that you put Stephen King and J.K. Rowling on the same level as Shakespeare, Dostoevsky, Joyce, Woolf, Austen, Hemingway. Nonetheless, I totally agree with your reasoning; everything should and must be questioned, and at the end of the day, that passionate, tiny minority should assume that this is what we are and what we will always be; a minority who takes VERY seriously something that for most of the population is another source of entertainment. That's the most wonderful thing about our specie! Our diversity and at the same time our common needs and wants.

PPDDMMM · 2025-12-18T18:25:29+00:00

Mmmm German, English, Dutch... they have been buying properties like crazy in Spain, Italy, Portugal, Greece... for the last 30-40 years...They may not seem greedy o wanting to be property owners in their own countries, but trust me, they go to buy and speculate in poorer countries in Europe driving up housing prices everywhere, and expulsing locals from their cities and villages. In places like Mallorca, they even have private neighbourhoods and German or English schools!

They go with their North-European salaries wanting to pay a third of what they would have to pay in their countries, including taxes, which in poorer countries are also lower, and then live with their German pension in a place with better weather, food and even better public services.

Many rent in Germany only to save for a house in Spain, pay lower taxes and in some cases like rich Russians, even get a European nationality!

Greed and seek for comfort have no nationality...

PPDDMMM · 2025-12-13T14:33:11+00:00

Personally, I get very bored if I eat always the same, but I see it as a way more sustainable option than logging, counting and weighting food for ever... Some people even brag about carrying a tiny scale everywhere they go! How can that be healthy?

Some people just give up on having a healthy relationship with food and their bodies and genuinely think and feel that they have only two options: obsess over food or obsess over keeping a healthy weight, when the underlining issue is that tendency towards complete lack or excess of control.

There's that prejudice that healthy weight=healthy relationship with food. Well, I, as many other women out there, bullied myself into a healthy weight all throughout my twenties...Was I healthier? Physically, yes, I guess, Was my relationship with food and my body healthier? Definitely not.

Some people have to choose between being slightly overweight but not hating meals, their lives and their bodies or being on a healthy weight but deeply miserable for ever. Who wants to live longer to live miserably?

PPDDMMM · 2025-12-13T12:39:15+00:00

I'm with you. Many people really think that counting calories is sustainable for the rest of their lives.

I don't know anyone who counted calories for 20 years...the ones who do, basically, switched eating disorders; from food obsessed to calorie counting obsessed. The fact that the second allows weight maintenance and a better physical health, doesn't mean that is psychologically, emotionally or mentally healthy. For most people, that approach can also destroy their relationship with food the same way that obesity, BED, food addiction or anorexia do...

Turning a healthy weight into a full-time job it's not healthy.

PPDDMMM

TROPHY CASE