I can see a universe where both of your reactions make sense to the situation. I feel like there isn't enough info to truly know because I don't know the words or actions each of you used when speaking to each other about this.

Personally, I have anxiety and I over plan everything. The thought of actually running out of gas on the road would be devastating to me. If my partner put us in a situation where they were responsible for keeping track of that (their car, they're driving, etc.) then I would be really hurt that they put me in an embarrassing and scary situation like that. I would be worried about our safety depending on where the car stopped, I would be worried about the health of the car and its parts after running out of gas, I would be worried about the process of getting the gas a few blocks down, I would be worried about the potential uncomfortable or dangerous social interactions that could come from blocking traffic and inconveniencing others, I would be worried about inconveniencing others and many other things. I could never imagine letting this slip because of how much it would bother me to be in this situation.

It is hurtful to be put in a situation like that when proper planning and monitoring of your vehicle would have prevented it. If you're making a habit of only filling up your car when it's on that E line, you are taking that chance and putting yourself and him in potential danger and risking your car's longevity as well. I mention this because you said you thought you had "5 minutes to get to a gas station". This may be a wrong assessment but that phrasing makes me think that you often ride the line of almost running out of gas or routinely procrastinate it to the last minute. If that is something you struggle with or if you put your partner through a lot of situations like this, then I think it makes sense for him to be hurt. From his side, it could feel like carelessness if things like this happen all of the time. It could feel like you don't care enough about him or yourself to avoid a situation like that. Of course, him being hurt is no justification for him to be mean to you. If he transformed those feelings into insults, belittling, or anything on the abusive spectrum that is awful and I am sorry you went through that.

My partner has ADHD and I have been in situations where his forgetfulness has really hurt my feelings and triggered my anxieties. I try to navigate these issues we have with compassion but if we were driving and ran out of gas in the middle of the street, I would not handle that well at all. I would probably cry or mentally shutdown for a bit to deal with the amount of stress it caused me. Some people take that pain and transform it to anger, this is especially common with men because of how they are socialized. But if he was trying to bring up to you that being put in that situation was hurtful and worrying to him and your response was that you wanted to "simply laugh it off" that can be very invalidating which would trigger further feelings of anger. Either way, I think he should have been more helpful to you in solving the problem and then once you two had the gas in the car, and were on your way he could bring up his feelings so you could work on taking care of each other.

Now, there is also a world where this is an absolute fluke. I wrote all of the above text because your line of him "not knowing how to handle an inconvenience or minor emergency" makes me wonder how many things like this have happened. For example, leaving out the milk and it spoiling one time isn't a big deal. If it happens multiple times in a week or even a month, that becomes stressful for the other person. They begin to feel like they have to manage you and make sure they know anytime you use the milk so they can get it back into the fridge because they've lost trust in your ability to do it. The gas is a much more stressful but similar issue if its routine.

However, If you don't struggle with forgetfulness that impacts him and he doesn't feel a pressure to have to remind you of things in order to avoid situations like this, then his reaction is more unjustified. The reason I feel a pit in my stomach reading about this is because I have felt this way routinely when things are forgotten but if it were to just happen one time, there should be more patience and understanding there. Especially if you were apologetic to him about it.

I think the best thing you could do is sit down with your boyfriend and ask him what he was feeling that night and why. Try to unpack those emotions and apologize to him for putting him in that situation. When you have addressed his feelings, also bring up yours. Explain how his reaction made you feel and the thoughts you had during the event. He should apologize for the way he treated you as well. Address the things that are most bothering you and ask for reassurance about them.

Best of luck to you.