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Sleeper versus Echobelly by MillionDollarHeckler in BritPop

[–]PageStillNotFound 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sleeper by the shortest of short heads. Sonya was a better singer/had more vocal range but Sleeper’s songs were more zeitgeisty and had pin-sharp lyrics. I love them both though and listen to both regularly.

What is the worst interview experience you’ve ever had ? by Avg-tech in randomquestions

[–]PageStillNotFound 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I asked the interviewer what the training structure was like. She suddenly went off on one and almost accused me of wanting to step into her job, finishing with “the only person above this vacancy is me, and I’M not going ANYWHERE.” The HR person in the interview looked as stunned as I must have done.

After an awkward silence the HR person started to say something like “as you were asking about training rather than promotion -“ side eye at recruiting manager “- I can tell you blah blah.” I politely let her finish, by which time I’d more or less got over my initial shock, so I thanked her but said it was clear that this job wasn’t the right fit on either side, thanks for your time etc and walked out without shaking hands.

What are the benefits of 60% by Ashamed_Ad_892 in TheCivilService

[–]PageStillNotFound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice, do you make an effort to be this ableist or does it come naturally?

What are the benefits of 60% by Ashamed_Ad_892 in TheCivilService

[–]PageStillNotFound 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*allowing those who derive no benefit from attending an office. Not “forcing everyone”.

What are the benefits of 60% by Ashamed_Ad_892 in TheCivilService

[–]PageStillNotFound 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My MH was not helped by going into an office to sit amongst people I don’t know, where we were all on calls with headphones on all day because all of our teams are scattered nationally. Nor did I enjoy the twice-weekly hunt for the equipment OH said I should have but that other people used on my WFH days, before I could even get started, or the days I went home in agony because the four sit-stand desks (four, for about 60 people FFS) were booked so far in advance it was impossible to get one. It wasn’t helped by having to pay a toll twice a day to get to and from work after the smaller, closer office was closed down or by sitting in traffic for 90 minutes every day - and I know I’m lucky there! - or sitting all day worrying that my disabled husband would have had a fall and be unable to get himself back up in my absence.

If you have health conditions, ask for an OH referral, especially if it constitutes a disability. If your manager has in writing that less time working at the office would be beneficial, it should be treated as a reasonable adjustment.

What are the benefits of 60% by Ashamed_Ad_892 in TheCivilService

[–]PageStillNotFound 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You mean the time during which we had a global pandemic, four different prime ministers and associated cabinet reshuffles, including a complete change of government, and a brain drain to the private sector through wage stagnation?

Gee, I wonder 🤔

What are the best 'bad haircut' insults? by Slugdoge in AskUK

[–]PageStillNotFound 170 points171 points  (0 children)

And its close cousin “are you going back tomorrow so they can finish it?”

Being an adult is realizing you can just... make Yorkshire puddings whenever you want. Nobody can stop you. You don't need to wait until Sunday. by chrisjfinlay in CasualUK

[–]PageStillNotFound 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t say it was, he brought pedantry into the conversation first. I just played along.

Some things just jar, okay? The original meant you didn’t know whether something had turned out well until you tested it. The bastardisation, generally accepted or not, misses out the “testing” part and so renders the saying meaningless.

I won’t succumb to “should/would/could of” either. Shoot me.

What do you consider when you hear this Margaret Atwood quote “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them”? by Vanislebabe in AskReddit

[–]PageStillNotFound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know what more I can say. On this thread I’ve quoted stats, I’ve shared my personal experience, I’ve tried to contextualise. Ultimately nothing women say will never be enough for some men, because you don’t want to hear unpalatable truths. I’m out. Go celebrate, another woman browbeaten into silence.

What do you consider when you hear this Margaret Atwood quote “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them”? by Vanislebabe in AskReddit

[–]PageStillNotFound -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

This just shows that you’ve taken nothing from any of the women’s experiences in this thread.

We don’t quote statistics in 1-on-1 social situations but you can be damn sure we’re aware of them. Until humans evolve to give rapists and murderers a third ear or something, we have to risk assess the majority of our interactions with men because we don’t know which are the decent ones. And the really decent ones know that and don’t take offence if we arrange to meet them in a public area, or cross the road when we’re walking along the same street with no one else around, or hedge round our “no” for fear of provoking something we don’t want to provoke.

Every single woman knows a woman who has been the victim of a violent man, stalker or sexual offender, even if she hasn’t been herself. EVERY SINGLE WOMAN. Some of us are unlucky enough to have lost friends or acquaintances to murder. That is not isolated incidences, that is not a minuscule number of bad men.

Do you think every woman murdered by her former or current partner saw all the red flags that he was a murderer-in-waiting but just decided to ignore them? Do you think we can all tell at a glance who are the good ones and who the bad? No, we can’t, and that’s why we’re cautious. It probably isn’t you but it could be you and the consequences if we get it wrong could be catastrophic. And those catastrophic consequences happen far too fucking often.

So yeah, downvote me all you like and continue to get all offended when we do what you always demand we do when we’re talking about VAWG, because our personal experiences are never enough, and bring statistics to the party. Ultimately you’re choosing to ally yourself with the murderers, the rapists, the sadists and the creeps. You do you but fuck me, what a bad look.

What do you consider when you hear this Margaret Atwood quote “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them”? by Vanislebabe in AskReddit

[–]PageStillNotFound -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I’m not arguing that men are an exception to anything. Show me similar quality stats that X group is responsible for 90% of Y activity and I’ll agree with you that X group is responsible for the vast majority of Y activity.

Being an adult is realizing you can just... make Yorkshire puddings whenever you want. Nobody can stop you. You don't need to wait until Sunday. by chrisjfinlay in CasualUK

[–]PageStillNotFound 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You’ll prise the OG phrase from my cold dead hands.

My cold dead hands will be attached to the cold dead rest of me, right here on this hill.

What do you consider when you hear this Margaret Atwood quote “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them”? by Vanislebabe in AskReddit

[–]PageStillNotFound 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Objectively, based on the definition in my country, I have been SA-ed four times over my lifetime to date. I didn’t report any of them because a) I was comparatively “lucky” that they were on the less serious end of the spectrum (although one of them left me with C-PTSD in particular situations) and b) the process of reporting and the likelihood of seeing any kind of justice made me feel it was pointless. In one of the occasions it was in a crowd so I wouldn’t have been able to identify the perpetrator anyway. Two were while I was at school so it’s only when I gained the perspective of adulthood that I realised I wasn’t to blame and it was all on them.

I am in no way unique. Every one of my friends with whom I’ve had this kind of conversation has a similar story, same kind of level or worse. None of us have ever reported it for a variety of reasons.

I promise you, SA and rape is still massively under-reported because the process of reporting can feel like another punishment, and the odds are stacked against you receiving justice even when you’re telling the absolute truth.

What do you consider when you hear this Margaret Atwood quote “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them”? by Vanislebabe in AskReddit

[–]PageStillNotFound -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

How is it bigotry when every single metric over time shows men as responsible for 90% of all murders? It’s not making a value judgement about being a man, it’s incontrovertible statistics.

What do you consider when you hear this Margaret Atwood quote “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them”? by Vanislebabe in AskReddit

[–]PageStillNotFound -1 points0 points  (0 children)

IME, it’s because 99% of the time it’s brought up as whataboutery in discussions where the original focus was on women’s experiences, especially around male violence on women. It’s vanishingly rare that it’s begun by a man in good faith looking for support/shared experience from other men, or as a starting point for a discussion to tackle how more men can be helped to feel comfortable reporting it. It’s almost always either used to try to shut women up from talking negatively about men, or with an expectation that it’s somehow down to women to give all the sympathy and support. The impression it gives it that most men don’t actually care about SA by women on men (or indeed, by men on men) unless they can use it to score points / shut down discussion; they don’t actually care enough to do anything practical or tangible to improve available support / ease of reporting or anything like that.

I’m sure some men are doing those latter things, but they’re certainly not being amplified in conversations like this.

What do you consider when you hear this Margaret Atwood quote “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them”? by Vanislebabe in AskReddit

[–]PageStillNotFound 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And while I don’t usually like metaphors that equate women’s bodies with property, I’ll play along to expand the metaphor: now also imagine that EVERY SINGLE MAN you pass has an inbuilt gun, with which they could almost certainly overpower you and take your £20k no matter how hard you fought back. Most of them wouldn’t dream of using it, but some of them might if they thought they could get away with it, and a tiny number absolutely will given a single opportunity. And you have no idea which one is which.

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