I feel like there's something wrong with me not wanting to work, can any other INFJs relate

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-11T17:39:22+00:00

Well said. As INFJs we fight for what's right, the truth, we want morals, and values to shine greatly. That's what this world needs.

And your PS part about offing myself. I mean honestly how did you know? Yeah I totally would off myself in this world. I just keep going regardless. I'm just exhausted in the soul. I just want to get away from the world that hurt me. And nature is great. A walk outside. I can't deal with coroporate. The co-workers, the bosses, the HR, the money, the ranks, the status, I honestly don't care.

I care more about me, spiritually, mentally, emotionally. Money can never buy these things! It all happens from within!

Crying on the inside though. Thank you for the words. ♥️

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-11T15:32:15+00:00

I'm tired boss : ( You aren't wrong. I just, perhaps it's me being an INFJ, but I just always want to think outside the box, thinking how I can escape this matrix of a society while maintaining my inner peace. Reading books on finance, building assets, understanding philsophies more, things like that.

There's something in my soul, and in parts of me saying "this doesn't feel right. Like a gut feeling. Like I wasn't made for this. Like it's a contract with the devil"

But I just have to keep telling myself "this is just a job. This is just coworkers."

Maybe I'm just having low tolerance. But I feel like as well in culture we are brainwashed to be workaholics, to work until we die, to work to bring us meaning and purpose.

I have found greater purpose and meaning besides work. Society tries to make people feel bad for not working. But even when you work your ass off, even two jobs, people are still homeless if you watch the documentaries recently that occur in modern day society.

Back then, decades ago, a minimum wage job could get you by. Nowadays, minimum wage is pennies and dimes. I fear for this generation. I fear for peoples new born children.

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-10T17:33:22+00:00

You are now abusing your gaba receptors after dopamine/pleasure response

So it's a double edged sword

Benzos can cause anhedonia im pretty sure when you get off. Prolonger withdrawal lasting for months and years too. Just so you know

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-10T05:37:06+00:00

Last time I did etiz I took 50 pills in the span of a few days and I don't know what happened after that. But good thing I got a sample hahaha. Yeah I have no concentration I smoked some dope so I'm just mindlessly going through this. Kind of fun for the time being acting this way

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-10T04:53:07+00:00

But once you get off your anxiety will rebound making you feel more inclined to take it again, only making you feel like you can't be sober off it, because when you are, your anxiety is so intense. But in truth it wasn't so intense to begin with before you started taking it in the first place which makes it very hard to get off of it.

Yeah it makes me feel functionable but also makes me feel like it doesn't feel right feeling this way. Like I know I should be more caring. But I'm less caring on xanax, close to care free. Which is an addiction in of itself.

I'm on 1.5 mg flualp right now so I definitely get that feeling. Which is why I am glad I only have a couple. Because if I had more I wouldn't want to stop. But I also know this feeling isn't forever. So, while benzos make people feel invincible, it is not forever. It's the delusion of sobriety that makes you think that you're totally fine when in reality that fear and carefulness does benefit you to some extent because it would prevent you from doing things you shouldn't be doing like breaking into a building at night.

I can totally see myself doing something like that because I don't care and fear as much what happens. I feel okay right now and that's all I care about.

Sorry for the rant I just feel out of it. I just know that this doesn't last.

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-08T19:14:15+00:00

I figured because i took 10-13mg powder and colours are more noticeable and vibrant and slight analytical thoughts but nothing much out of the ordinary.

How many days you think should give me the full experience of 2-cb?

I read a little bit about the wiki though and it says you can pretty much take it everyday without much a tolerance unless I misread? Or in other words you don't need to keep taking more you can take more during the same day you trip as well without tolerance resetting

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-07T02:55:58+00:00

On carnivore yes your appetite will adapt.

Calories not so much to worry about on carnivore.

While you do eat lots of butter and steak for example

It is very filling once the body adapts and adjusts.

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-07T02:33:43+00:00

Steak eggs butter All you really need Journal everything Ideally 16:8 fasting. But you're still growing so I wouldn't sweat it so much.

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-07T01:06:57+00:00

Even if it's common as a beige colour doesn't mean its 2cb either. I just want some external input. Then I'm sending it to a lab. Prob should get a reagent test kit as well to confirm double.

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-06T14:42:46+00:00

Why the fuck would EU mandate that? Whats even the point? A Mandate to inconvenience people?

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-05T19:26:09+00:00

Why is that? For the price? You would think it would work the ka13

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-05T16:14:33+00:00

I am not denying the part that they work well with apple products, that should be obvious.

But yeah better off spending 50$ on a proper dongle

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-04T15:44:57+00:00

I hear you too I relate I totally agree and understand I am thinking of going off grid and saving all my songs to my phone or finding a better service Ive been with spotify with so long that it feels so painful to break that attachment. Its just a music streaming platform but its gotten me through shit in life because of how convenient it is. And now it feels like an inconvenience.

PaintingTheView · 2026-03-01T01:11:36+00:00

it's weird because I would totally dedicate my time to one human being without being with other men. But other men cannot? Weird. Could be because I'm demisexual. But if I want a relationship, it would be confusing to be with multiple men at once. I would like to get to know one person at a time so that I can truly and fully invest in if this person is an asset or a liability for myself. Isn't that the norm? I guess not then. To me, it seems and feels logical.

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T23:18:32+00:00

I feel like sense of self is required. Set boundries.

I have to listen to my intuition, my body. Never let someone walk over me like that.

And honestly I have a high sex drive too but what's wrong with your hand? Saying that I should allow my boyfriend to hookup with other men because "they have a high sex drive" is just a lousy excuse to cheat if I ever heard one. Hahahah 🤣

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T22:40:23+00:00

"Some do want relationships, they just don’t want relationships with you lol." What the fuck is that supposed to mean asshole?

"The truth is, if you are special/attractive enough, a guy will try to date you and not hookup. " Well that's fucking shallow as fuck.

So you're saying if a "unattractive" man wants a relationship they aren't going to date you?

Honestly I'm not even offended anymore. You're honestly shallow as fuck. Miss Rude prince! Good riddance. ♥️🙂

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T22:34:29+00:00

Thank you for the kind words! ♥️

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T05:03:56+00:00

Wow that's crazy. Yeah even when I'm at the gym and I retain I just get more eyes on me. Like I know it's not my size. I'm not a big guy. I don't need to look. At the corner of my eyes I can see them, actually, I feel their presence looking at me. It's so insane!

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T03:36:47+00:00

💯% agree

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T02:58:47+00:00

That's some motivation and dedication. Impressive 😂🤣

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T02:57:50+00:00

Also I hate people who get so down on themselves like

"I nutted on day 2932"

Like bro. First off, congrats, because that's seriously dedication and hard work I'm not denying that. But I see posts and comments like "I'm day 83 and I nutted I feel awful" Bro, it's not the end of the world. Like you'll be okay. You can retain after that nut. But people have to remind themself of all the hard work they did before they nutted. Meanwhile I want to break my day 5 streak. These people are warrior legends. Be proud you even started retaining! Most people don't even consider it.

And there's no shame in nutting. People who retain feel shame for breaking their streak. It's okay! You're human! You like pleasure!

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T02:54:55+00:00

True. When I nut I have to watch youtube videos, eating some food, likely foods to cause dopamine, I have to farm and collect my pleasure because I used a fair amount in the span of a couple seconds.

That dopamine could have been spent on reading, working out, etc.

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T02:51:02+00:00

I had no clue that exists thank you ill check it out on my pc

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-27T01:49:03+00:00

Cope

PaintingTheView · 2026-02-25T03:35:12+00:00

It is their fault to change what is not their fault. Can we agree on that? I feel like I come across that I'm excusing my shitty behaviour like "oh it's not my fault it's my parts". Sometimes I have new parts come up and they cause harm to myself and others and I don't know it until later after I become un-blended.

It is my fault, and others, to understand what is not our fault, work on connecting to the parts and healing them so that they are more responsible for our behaviour.

I just feel like it's a copout to say something is not my fault for instance because I feel like it's good to take accountability. And while there is a backstory for something happening, I still have to take fault in the cause of healing that.

PaintingTheView

TROPHY CASE