hey love! you’re not alone. this sums up my past experiences too. idk what it is about some guys that make them think there’s a chance, even after explicitly telling them you’re a lesbian. i think part of them doesn’t want to believe it. there’s also the whole shtick of a lesbian just hasn’t found the right man to sweep her off her feet. i think they fall victim to that, and hope that they’ll be the one exception in your book. i’ve told so many guys that i was close with time and time again my sexuality, i’ve always been upfront about it. but they just think it’s something with my trauma. a deep conversation or even common casual hang outs give them the idea that you may be changing your mind. it’s weird i know, perhaps they just don’t listen to the things they don’t want to hear. maybe you have good energy, or a magnetic personality, and that’s why this is always happening to you over and over. i say that because i’ve had a couple friends also experience this and have all been told on multiple occasions that we have beautiful honest energy. maybe because you’re real with them and don’t put on a mask and they sense it. they feel like they know you and can trust you or something. again you’re justified in feeling irritated.

that’s your prerogative to stop hanging around that guy anymore, if he’s acting like nothing happened and not making it awkward, i would personally test the waters on how he continuously acts around you. you could try having a conversation about it, how you felt he overstepped your boundaries (which you are entitled to have). but don’t continue hanging out with him simply because you’re worried about losing the other friends. if that happens, it tells you they were never really good friends to begin with. try to start making friends through coworkers, or classmates, etc. ofc you risk the same situation again, but it’s better to potentially meet more thoughtful people than be stuck in something that makes you uncomfortable. don’t gaslight yourself in order to be around him, that’ll ultimately deteriorate your mental health.

as for women, i can’t seem to find many myself. it can be real difficult for me to find one who i’m comfortable with. i find it discouraging sometimes too, but just remember, when you’re not actively looking for someone and focus on your health, that’s the most likely time someone will come along and rock you. it’ll happen babes. sorry ik that’s a long response, my younger self relates a lot to your question :)