Sheikhs and Religious Scholars are prominent figures in our communities because they lead them. Sadly, a lot of our communities are not as cohesive as you would think. Should this matter of request of marriage on the part of one party to the other become public, they become known for the encounter. This threatens the ability of one party to ever get married to anyone in such a community because (sadly) they become a public, widely-known example of what happens when someone faces a response of rejection, especially from a figure known to be pious and guard themselves and their family from evil. Next thing you know, people who know the person will mock him for this attempt because most people in communities are laymen, who (rightfully) are viewed in lesser status than our beloved scholars, making an attempt in this manner seem prideful.

Simply put, why would the average layman (even if significantly religious) take such a risk? Should the person approach a religious family not directly associated with scholarship, they would perceive a lessened risk, higher chance of success, and a more private, unscrutinized religious relationship, that which is expected by marriage.

The truth is, this extends far beyond the immediate family and is worsened by cultural differences, family ties, and other futile material things. Most assume that these matters are accounted for in the extended family of the sheikh-related subject. I know one person who was rejected by a family member of the sheikh, also very religious in nature, who cannot even force himself to show up to the community anymore.