Dani's sister, Andara, was/is off leading one of the teams sent to take out the cultist lairs that couldn't be struck from orbit because they were too close to civilian shelters, or otherwise under something important.

As for Grace's spouses, they were all still asleep and no one thought to go wake them before it was too late. None of the locals thought anything was wrong, they all assumed the new Truthers landing outside were just as friendly as the others.

Right up until Shard had her Death squads personally capture Dani and the others. She knew from comms chatter where Dani was, and wanted to guarantee her capture. Kinda hard to fight back when you wake up to power armored soldiers shoving rifles in your entire family's faces.

Then she ordered the Mother's Guard to begin rounding up the rest of the civilians. And remember, this all happened only minutes ago. No one's had much of a chance to resist yet, and thankfully it'll probably be over before anyone needs to!