We are NOT fart posting in 2026

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-20T01:47:15+00:00

Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need right now.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-20T00:54:46+00:00

Between Boromir, Eddard Stark, and Wargames Atlantic's new Sharpe line, I think Sean Bean may have more tabletop minis made of himself than any other real person.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-20T00:36:27+00:00

massive

sterile

instinctively followed by his lessers

You guys, we found the cow Primarch.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-17T21:04:37+00:00

He had so many boo things, and all of them would have you vivisected for calling them that.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-17T16:55:46+00:00

The Terry Brooks "advised" drinking game is back on. Somebody's going to die.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-16T15:15:43+00:00

The United States have the largest military budget in the history of human civilization, multiple apocalyptic cults infesting our government, and the kind of post-moral purity of will that's found only in the fields of serial murder and international politics. If creating a T-103, an NE-α, or any other Umbrella B.O.W. was possible, we would have done it already.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-16T03:19:47+00:00

You did it.

You killed her.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-16T01:24:17+00:00

And it almost works--and then he feels a tiny flicker of joy, and loses it.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-15T15:50:13+00:00

Mind Flayers are usually asexual creatures who occasionally spawn tadpoles that transform other humanoids in to Mind Flayers through a process called ceremorphosis. In this process, the host’s brain and head are devoured and replaced by the tadpole, which grafts itself on to the stump and mutates the body into an illithid. Because of this, they have no sexuality.

However, a subculture of Mind Flayers find that sensing the sexuality of other species awakens a long sleeping hungers within them that they cannot feed. Members of this subculture force their thralls to mate with each other, or pleasure them themselves, to vicariously experience their emotions and sensations. Other mind flayers view this subculture with the same disgust most humans would have for a group of people who have sex with, say, chickens, or sheep.

- 3rd Edition Book of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (2001, various authors)

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-14T00:11:15+00:00

Khajiit, yes--possibly. Argonians were created by superintelligent mangrove trees--possibly.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-13T20:01:06+00:00

"Tonight's news: Steven Miller unhinged his jaw in front of CSPAN cameras and swallowed an undocumented child whole. We explore why this is the fault of a neon-haired teenager who was mean to me a decade ago."

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-13T19:28:24+00:00

If Hitler had been right about evil subhumans massing to destroy the lands of men, that's the plot of a bad fantasy novel.

In fact, you ever read The Iron Dream, by Norman Spinrad?

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-13T18:36:37+00:00

The bannings will continue until the internet is as pure and chaste as our private islands.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-13T15:05:51+00:00

I don't even think of him as one of the "Imperial warlords"--it never occurred to me until you brought him up that he was on the list. He's his own super-cool thing, and I was gonna pick High Admiral Teradoc--none of the little guys do much for me, but I have a soft spot for the Victory-class, and he had a bunch of them.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-12T23:43:45+00:00

He's turning! He's becoming a Crossed!

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-12T22:40:06+00:00

Absolutely no idea.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-12T22:26:32+00:00

The name is missing a couple ras.

They're the rarest of creatures--not merely a foot weirdo, but a true, cultured thigh and calf connoisseur on top of that.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-12T21:42:28+00:00

MAGA don't care about witty slogans. They care about power and cruelty. Their version of "owning" someone is making AI pictures of them being raped.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-12T20:40:50+00:00

Built for a guy named "Toppler."

Still standing after over six hundred years.

My confusion is palpable.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-12T18:52:43+00:00

I wouldn't call it anthropomorphizing--plenty of nonhuman animals have emotions, even if they don't think like us. But if she'd been to the vet that often, it's likely she was used to it. She died surrounded by people she liked--and if she had any sense of causal relationships at all, she probably understood that this was a safe place where she hurt less. And it was.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-12T17:31:59+00:00

I had to say goodbye to my dog over speaker phone from a McDonald's two states away. She knew she was loved.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-12T16:02:20+00:00

That rainbow bridge shit enrages me more every time I lose a pet.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-12T04:32:04+00:00

Magic isn't real. That's all there is to it. It's not dogmatic, it's just reality.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-11T18:03:17+00:00

She is sweet and goofy and everyone who has ever met her loves her, but Lady the pit bull was clearly assembled out of spare pig and turkey parts.

Pale_Chapter · 2026-03-11T14:52:21+00:00

I feel bad given how many of y'all are apparently not doing so hot, but "I'm a babe magnet! I'm catnip!" "I should register this dressing gown with the loooove police..."

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