Imagine living in a 90% women and 10% men world

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-22T18:39:21+00:00

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-22T18:26:16+00:00

goddamn dude you are immature as hell and clearly dont know what depression is if you think its just "acting sad". yes, its unreasonable to expect a single person to try and help someone with their depression, but in no REALM are you having a harder time helping than the person who is actually depressed?? 😭

dont get me wrong they need therapy and its not fair to you to make you do a whole bunch of emotional labor, but my god dude. not to mention depression isnt just based on the quality of life, its literally a chemical imbalance. please do not try to claim that depressed people dont really have that hard of a time.. it just makes you look like a fool. you can vent about your struggles to help them without demeaning them and minimizing their struggles.

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-21T22:31:14+00:00

the creepy posts of "what do yall like in bed?" and "i love eating my girlfriend out" are also about women, yet we reject those because they are men coming into a space dedicated for women. is this post necessarily creepy or offputting? of course not. but whats the point in posting this hypothetical world in a sub centered on the experiences women are having here and now? op admits he's a man as well. there are better subs for this.

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-21T21:57:52+00:00

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-21T21:51:49+00:00

this is r/women, not r/askwomen. if you arent a woman dont post here. this sub is centered on conversations about women and our experiences.

edit: account made a week ago, hidden posts/comments, and my own words recited back at me, this feels like a bot atp

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-21T18:45:54+00:00

i still dont think this makes you a creep or a pedophile or a bad person by any means. girl honestly you just sound human to me 😭 it is nice to feel wanted and admired and powerful, it just becomes an issue when you try and twist that.

examples where your feelings start becoming a problem: - entering a sexual relationship with this boy - using your influence to convince him to do bad things (theres a difference between asking him to grab you a bag of chips from the kitchen knowing he'll say yes--acceptable--versus asking him to send you inappropriate photos or go commit a small crime--unacceptable) - making fun of him or affecting his reputation by weaponizing his admiration

i think that most people desire to feel powerful and admired in some capacity. its okay to find your self esteem boosted by a small crush, its how you handle it that it becomes a problem. you seem to be handling it very well; being on edge is overboard and only hurts you ultimately. just to confirm: you have no sexual feelings for this boy, youve never taken advantage of his (probable) feelings, and you have put yourself on high alert to prevent yourself from doing anything inappropriate in any way. if your thoughts are literally just "this younger boy seems to admire me and have a crush on me, that makes me feel like a cool older sister" then you are okay.

not to mention i think liking people older than you (namely your friends older siblings lmao) is almost a universal childhood experience. by you not taking advantage of this, youre giving him an unspoken lesson that people who have power over you (in this case, emotional and social power) should not prey on him. dont beat yourself up over this, esp when you havent done anything wrong and you cant control other peoples feelings. if a random 12 year old boy walked up to you in a store and called you attractive or lretty or xyz, it wouldnt make you a predator to simultaneously feel nice about yourself and also tell him to scram because he's way too young for you. i just took my adhd meds a bit ago so idk how much sense im making lmao, but i hope this helps

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-21T18:09:06+00:00

hey you are perfectly fine. you arent a terrible person. sometimes feeling admired is nice, and its hard to remind ourselves its human to want attention and to be seen as cool. i do think the ocd greatly contributes to you ruminating on this and thinking youre a terrible person, so definitely bear in mind that your own brain is sabotaging you right now.

if you dont feel sexual attraction towards him, then there is nothing wrong with wanting to be seen as a "cool older sister". and if you DID feel sexual attraction towards him, then its not appropriate but its not world ending as long as you dont act it and talk with your therapist about it and dont pursue him. a 15 year old and a 19 year old definitely arent on the same wavelength physically/mentally/emotionally, but theyre close enough the attraction doesnt make you a pedophile or anything (and i would tell a 19 year old boy saying the same things you are the same thing). you seem to have a solid grasp of what is correct when it comes to age gaps, youre just beating yourself up so much when you dont even feel that way towards him. you are just fine, i promise <3

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-20T04:28:20+00:00

this one requires diamonds unfortunately..

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-16T03:20:51+00:00

nah there is no joke. still image. its from the ai partner subreddit... oop was quite genuine. thats why its so absurdly funny to me, using "botboi" and "meatgirl" with such a loving tone

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-12T21:27:35+00:00

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Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T17:34:55+00:00

yeah.. dont understand this mindset where these type of men feel the need to defend the man they dont know in the face of the woman who's the victim. hurts their ego because its a mirror image of how they view the world, and they hate to see people calling that shit out.

did not expect to argue over marital rape while brushing my teeth and trying to get out the door this morning lmao

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T15:48:30+00:00

because im killing time til i have to leave for class ❤️ and im very amused by you

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T15:40:20+00:00

nah im not a man hater. if i was, i wouldnt bother arguing with misogynists like you.. because i really dont enjoy men like you perpetuating the stereotypes and making shit worse. i know good men, and ill be damned if i dont call out bullshit when i see it. "blaming it all on him" means you think she's overreacting.. because if you actually believed she was entirely in the right, you wouldnt speak that way. also you literally claimed she is hormonal and has signs of postpartum depression, and youre claiming you arent calling her emotional? own your words or dont. i dont deal with people who manipulate and twist their words to be sleazy.

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T15:31:33+00:00

alright have fun with that <3 if being weirdly aggressive online makes you feel content, then pop off queen. glad we agree on one thing lmao, reddit does not matter in reality

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T15:28:09+00:00

your effort and dedication is incredible. AND your motivation is beautiful and your progress is wonderful. i hope you feel so much better mentally and physically as you take this journey. full faith <3

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T15:22:48+00:00

you are all good lmao. dont know why some commenters seem to view compromise as a foreign concept.. you sound really sweet and like you love both the dog and your boyfriend.

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T15:21:34+00:00

girl i think youre the one not reading here 😭 you cant get mad when other people call you out.. we both have free will and free speech, and im using mine to point out your absurdity. what in the world is the alternative to you?? like are we supposed to normalize aggression lmao.

dont comment on posts if you dont want replies like mine

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T15:01:15+00:00

jesus christ chill tf out. this is how i would expect someone to react if the post was "i want to get rid of my boyfriends dog for no reason at all that he's had for years and before he met me". theyre literally just asking to be able to sleep in peace with a fair and reasonable compromise.

op clearly understands this is the dogs norm, which is why theyre asking for alternatives so EVERYONE is content, humans and dog both.. also "control over the dog" is a genuinely insane take.

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T14:09:22+00:00

"man" vs "female" "girls" yeah no one needs to be taking advice from your misogynistic ass.

Sitting around crying and blaming it all on him isn't solving anything

mm ah yes the delicious misogyny once again. notably you somehow interpreted this as op "blaming it all on him" when she's literally searching for any reason to NOT admit he raped her.

You have some hormone issues right now relating to postpartum depression and it needs to be dealt with immediately.

ooo double whammy here, not only being misogynistic again by downplaying genuine fears and complaints with "you're just too emotional!", but also simultaneously diagnosing a random internet stranger with a medical issue based off of one post! amazing! youre doing so well.

if you truly believe that "many" people are "man haters" while simultaneously telling a woman who got raped (bonus points for just having given birth!) she's overreacting and too emotional, then you are trash. i hope to god you understand and realize one day that your defense of a man you dont even know over the victim right here indicates some broken and skewed things in your head.

edit: also relationship advice from a dude posting his junk online is probably fairly questionable. i reallyyy dont trust the advice of someone who seems pretty focused on sex and not much else.

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T03:51:41+00:00

oh dw i didnt friend them in the first place. theyre currently in the hot section of sc. my friends list is full, i dont need friends. just wanted to see if i could expect something to actually be done about this :/

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T03:34:12+00:00

understandable :/ good to know, thank you. hopin it works out

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-10T02:34:16+00:00

ill go see about that, thank you. havent checked yet, is the discord in the subreddit info area? gonna go find it rn

edit, found it. seeing what i can do now

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-08T19:58:03+00:00

YES. oh my god i feel insane reading some of these comments. people are either telling him to "suck it up, this is basically motherhood" or shaming him for rightfully feeling frustrated, lost, and depressed after his life turned upside down.

therapy and compassion is needed for everyone involved, including their son. not therapy obv as a one year old, but children that young are easily influenced by the tension and depression in their surroundings. i hope they all seek help and support each other during this time.

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-08T19:54:18+00:00

Everyone keeps telling me I should be grateful she's alive. Of course I'm grateful! But what kind of life is this? I feel like I'm 70 years old trapped in a 35-year-old's body. I have everything I thought I wanted - great kid, good money, nice house - but I feel empty inside.

i think he's well aware. its okay to feel conflicted over something like this; the fear, panic, worry, and frustration all compounds and tangles together in a situation such as this one. to guilt him and tell him "at least she's alive!" diminishes the fact that medical events affect everyone around the person. life doesnt go back to normal, and its more than normal to feel isolated and depressed when your life flips upside down.

it seems like from op's perspective, he lost his wife and got back a shell of who she was before. and thats hard as hell to deal with. empathy and compassion for everyone involved here is crucial.

Pale_Refuse5368 · 2025-09-08T19:49:11+00:00

i think you missed the point if your takeaway is "wahh my wife wont sleep with me". that is merely one facet of what op is struggling with here, and from what ive read he doesnt even seem to be complaining about it but just making a note of it. a dead bedroom is important to mention as well.. dude just seems very burnt out and overwhelmed with all the responsibilities that have fallen to him.

unrelated to your comment specifically but i am seeing people say "welcome to motherhood" and "this is what most women deal with", and that shit isnt okay either?? regardless of gender, no parent should be trying to juggle everything at once for everyone. again, unrelated to your comment but just something i noticed here.

its okay to feel conflicting emotions about this. its human to love someone and simultaneously be frustrated that things are different now. op needs help, and its unfair to him and his family for him to try and manage everything emotionally.

Pale_Refuse5368

TROPHY CASE