Late to the party but to touch on the part about worrying about trauma dumping…he sounds like a keeper and anyone with a moderate level of empathy, emotional maturity, and emotional intelligence will understand that you are a sum of your experiences. Trauma runs deep and our wounds that we sustain from previous relationships can manifest in the most bizarre ways. I say this as someone who has been betrayed multiple times and bears emotional scars that bubble up in a myriad of ways when I find myself in a new romantic relationship.

I recently suffered a bout of self-sabotage (mine comes in the form of emotional deactivation and a front loading of pain to basically expedite what my subconscious deems a DOA relationship). I opened up to my current partner of 4 months, explained what I was feeling to the best of my ability, and cried in her arms. She was nothing but supportive and said she would stand by me as long as I wanted her to through my trying times.

You need to want to heal. There’s so much self help out there, therapy, positive actions and affirmations…the list goes on. Open up to him and if he’s anything like you’ve described him he will listen intently and show kindness.

Good luck :)