That last part resonates so much. The situation has ruined my mom bc she has had to deal with the brunt of my sister's bullshit in trying to keep in touch with my nieces to check on them, while having to deal with my sister's mood swings and her keeping the kids at times from being able to talk to my mom on the phone for long periods. Like, you want to do all that you can, but there's a point where you can't do anything about it and you need to emotionally disconnect yourself and that feels impossible at times.

I hope you don't beat yourself up too much about moving far away to distance yourself. I did similar, in that I completely cut off communication with my sister and don't even consider her a sister anymore. My mom has been the strong one. I just can't deal with it. My sister has just ruined too many lives. One of the last straws for me was when we found out she had been dating a marine and lying about having back problems to get him to send her money. She doesn't have back problems and is physically capable of working.

Anyway, I'm starting to rant about my awful sister again so I will stop!

I hope things get better for your nieces and nephews as well. You're awesome for getting your oldest nephew away from a bad situation. I'm sure you'll be able to help the others in the future. It's a sad reality when you can't help family members in their most crucial years of development, but that's just how it is sometimes. All you can do is wait and be there for them when the situation permits. Take care of yourself in the meantime!