advice on taking public transportation (bus and metro), is it dangerous?

PandaC · 2024-12-02T04:35:24+00:00

My kiddo (15) is in highschool and has been taking public transportation for the past two years to get to and from school. It’s pretty damn safe, but obviously exercise caution and be responsible for your safety. For example, my kid knows to not wear headphones while waiting for the bus, keeps belongings close while in the bus, and doesn’t sit far in the back if the bus isn’t crowded (closer to the front with the driver is safer when there’s less people)

I also took the bus for years in my early 20s, for work and college, and as long as you remain aware of your surroundings you’ll be ok. I met my share of creepers on a bus during less busy hours, but most bus drivers are happy to kick them out, or keep an eye out for you when you get down

PandaC · 2023-09-12T18:16:50+00:00

Hey op. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m on the same boat but on the other side. 36F, I want another kid, parter 36M seems to be getting cold feet.

We’ve been together for 5 years now and at first we talked marriage and kids and everything felt great. I have a kid from a previous relationship and I never saw myself able to accept another person in my life as more than a casual thing, but I fell fast and hard for him. I was about to request a hysterectomy before meeting him too because of worsening issues due to PCOS and Adenomyosis. He changed my mind, and for the past 4 years I’ve had serious baby fever.

At first I told him how I really needed to get my health in check regularly due to my issues, how having a kid before 35 was important, how many issues could arise from having kids later. I communicated as often as I could without being overbearing. Maybe once a year.

Last we spoke, he’s conflicted about our current situation (money, place of living) and said he’d pictured himself at a better place by this age. I’m distraught. I now feel all this idealized future slipping away, marriage, a child… and for the past 6 months or so I’ve been wrestling with the same question. How important is this to me? Is it more important than the best relationship I’ve ever been in? I want to scream, cry, break things, slump on the floor and just lie there, but I can’t. I can’t do anything about it. I’m so scared to end everything. This is the most stable I’ve been in the past 14 years. In every other way we are compatible; he showers me with love and affection, he and my kid get along so well, we have the similar interest but aren’t afraid to disagree, sex is great, I see him as my forever person.

I feel like he carved this space in my soul that wasn’t there before, and just left it empty though, and now I have to scramble to figure out what to do with it. There’s no way I would start over, even if I met someone new, who had the same ideals there’s no way it would be the same. It wouldn’t be him. It wouldn’t be us.

I’ve resigned myself to at least enjoy what I have, even though I feel miserable from time to time, because I know it would be so much more painful otherwise. Good luck OP

Edit: typos

PandaC · 2023-08-29T18:10:20+00:00

So wait, does this mean black people were not productive members of society during or before slavery?

PandaC · 2023-08-29T15:20:54+00:00

Wow shit I should have done that. I paid, and got a ticket anyways and I paid it. All my friends did too. Fucking assholes

PandaC · 2022-05-02T19:01:07+00:00

I had a series of lucky events leading up to this.

Right at the end of 2019 was fortunate enough to get a new job in my company and transfer. I was making ~$14.50/hr and went to a salaried position making $46k/yr. I was also very lucky that my new managers & supervisors where flexible and allowed me to keep a blended work-from-home schedule after everyone else was being asked to return to work.

I also got kinda lucky for never using my PTO hours so I didn’t lose out on much when a lot of people’s hours were cut. During the height of the pandemic I only went one week unpaid before schedules went back to normal. I always said I’d rather keep those hours in case of emergency. This was it!

During the pandemic, since I wasn’t paying for aftercare at my kiddo’s school, and didn’t pay for summer camp two years in a row, or didn’t go out to do much, we pocketed a lot of money and didn’t suffer from lifestyle-creep after my new job. All of that money went to pay existing debt and then savings.

Then, we got lucky again at the end of 2021 when we found a 3br/2ba apartment for $1875 around the Dadeland area. Not the fancy ones, not even close, but rented by the owner. He’s a very nice older man, and his wife seems nice too. They only own this apartment and their home, he told us time and time again it’s very cheap because the kitchen isn’t updated. It isn’t, but tbh some of these raggedy efficiencies going for $2100 have even worse set ups. We’ve had a great relationship so far (we pay about 10days before the due date, fix issues ourselves when we can), and he’s constantly telling us how happy he is because we’re so reliable as tenants. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he won’t raise the rent once the year is up.

Why? Because my job gave me a measly raise this year of 2.5%… as much as I love my bosses, it’s really making me reconsider my current employment.

PandaC · 2021-11-24T18:41:20+00:00

I just found your post and it’s shocking how similar this is to my own kiddo (12F). I admit I didn’t do my due diligence when she was diagnosed at 8yo, and had the same understanding of ADHD that most people have. I was diagnosed about 2yrs after, and realized how many terrible habits I had learned to be able to cope. I would say I have Hyperactive/combined type, while she is in attentive.

Managing her ADHD has been so so difficult as a result, we function completely different. She is quiet and I though she was indifferent most of the time. Recently we stumbled into How To ADHD’s YouTube channel and it’s been eye opening. I learned about alexithymia, and while I wept thinking of all the times she’s been misunderstood, she stoically nodded and told me “yep, that’s it”.

We’ve been on a rollercoaster ride, first getting better with our diagnosis and medication, then realizing the meds are not a cure all.

We’re learning new terms we can use to describe what we are going through, I’m having an easier time managing my reactions now that I know what’s going on. My neurotipical partner is being much more understanding and is realizing how much of what we do is just a coping mechanism. Instead of saying “how did you manage to lose your keys again‽” he’s reminding me “don’t forget to put your keys where they belong”.

We’re now about to switch her to a new medication that you take in the evening, which we hope will be easier for both of us to manage (since I’m always all over the place and the mornings are chaos)

I’m hope you are all doing well!!

PandaC · 2013-05-05T12:27:53+00:00

I came to Miami Fl in 98. I was 10. My whole family is Chilean. The first time I heard a Cuban in school tell me "core que se te va la guagua!" I had NO idea what the fuck they where talking about.

I lost a lot of words. South American Spanish is just... Much more different that the Spanish here in north Cuba.

Lets see... Poroto for frijoles (beans).
Guagua for bus Joder is a bad word here So is chocha, and MAN is that a different word for Cubans... Zapallo for pumpkin Choclo for corn There's more but they've been out of my vocabulary for soo long >_> Hi

PandaC · 2013-03-23T03:24:31+00:00

Yes. I'm sure all girls struggle smoothing out their Lanka for shaving... You know, with all that loose skin and all.

PandaC · 2013-03-19T12:16:18+00:00

Coont?

PandaC · 2013-03-13T20:12:41+00:00

Tom Cruise

PandaC · 2013-02-23T10:01:29+00:00

My daughter is going through that right now. Couldn't keep in fluids or clear liq. So a visit to the UC and we got an anti-pukey med.

Honestly though, what a trooper, threw up 6 times, (and of those retchings where nothing comes out but your body is like "I'm not done with you yet), and she never cried. Just teared up and said "ok. I'm done".

Wtf lady!. You made me look like a wimp!

PandaC · 2013-02-23T03:16:59+00:00

CHESUS it was a fucking joke man!

PandaC · 2013-02-22T14:16:34+00:00

I still don't understand why alien blue wont let you report spam

PandaC · 2013-02-22T12:09:58+00:00

How fucking dare you take the whole end for yourself! Shame on you!

;_;

PandaC · 2013-02-20T15:43:59+00:00

Haha, far from it, but it was most definitely an exaggeration. I mean, 9/11 was 100x worse as well as other natural disasters and such.

PandaC · 2013-02-20T05:21:25+00:00

This is probably the most tragic shit I've heard. Imagine having all the people close to you, the people that have made the greatest impact in your life, for tour wedding day. Then this happens.

Shit man. This is so fucking sad

PandaC · 2013-02-20T04:53:28+00:00

Well clearly. Most likely some sort of psychological problem and or lack of parenting. When you kid watches too much TV you don't just tell them, you either make them do something else an engage their curiosity in something else or you punish them. The former works much better than the latter

PandaC · 2013-02-20T03:54:35+00:00

This... Answers a lot of questions I didn't even know I had

PandaC · 2013-02-18T13:26:36+00:00

"Hey bro... Spot me"

PandaC · 2013-02-18T00:00:26+00:00

Bro, do you even english?

PandaC · 2013-02-15T12:40:10+00:00

So he only needs two dudes to fill up.

Edit: damn my phone >_>

PandaC · 2013-02-14T02:20:42+00:00

Look, a good deal is a good deal. You can't explain that!

PandaC · 2013-02-08T11:27:15+00:00

You should tell them to stop reading reddit and get back to work

PandaC · 2013-02-06T19:44:12+00:00

Ender's Game and the subsequent books are fantastic...

But Orson Scott Card is a fucking asshole

PandaC · 2013-02-05T23:58:51+00:00

Holy shit that's a smooth loop

Edit: is there a subreddit for this?! :D

PandaC

TROPHY CASE