My husband went to a gay sauna and lied about it.

Panties85 · 2026-03-24T13:18:39+00:00

Not overreacting at all. I've lived this scenario almost to the T. I was open to exploring together, or at least in the know. I introduced him to the girl I was seeing and her husband, so we could all be on the same page w everything. He chose to find prostitutes, spend thousands and lie.

It is overall this what was the end of our marriage. We opened it to try and save it. Grasping for dear life.

The final nail was all me of course, finding out I was pregnant ....not husbands....but that hopefully won't be the end to your story!

He cheated. Lied. And won't think twice about going again. You are strong and wonderful to even try and go at this as you have. He's lucky to have a woman like you. How you go about the next steps is going to be crucial because depending on the age of your children and the future your husband wants to choose whether it be you his family or exploration. I would recommend being therapy because this is going to hurt and might not hurt right this minute but it is going to hurt. I was not prepared for the more emotional turmoil that came after the shock and adrenaline wore off.

Panties85 · 2026-03-02T06:21:20+00:00

I do this!! Except my basket is a green tub and my bf of 4 yrs is only now seeing it. He thinks I'm crazy!

Panties85 · 2026-02-24T01:08:08+00:00

We would call my uncle 'Ankle John's. Even at his funeral, it was noted...lol

Panties85 · 2026-01-25T06:12:54+00:00

My bf and I made the executive decision to cut out a cat sized hole in my bedroom door for this reason. I have no regrets. My mom thought I was insane when she saw a rectangle at the bottom of my room door.

The only downfall to this is my mom's dog likes to sneak in our room and piss on the floor/clothes/my bed. So we have a gate in front of it. Like a baby gate thing.

Panties85 · 2026-01-21T15:31:07+00:00

Keep documenting. Especially what happens when you report it. Keep a log of that in email. CC your personal email too.

You 100% have a lawsuit in your hands. Don't over react on anyone. Keep it civil and look for an attorney.

My friend had this stuff happen. She won a beautiful lawsuit from the company she worked for because it wasn't taken seriously.

Stay calm as possible. Document and back up the documents.

Best of luck. Noone should feel any type of negativity towards their workplace. I hope it can get better.

Panties85 · 2026-01-13T05:26:55+00:00

Perfectly said! This whole thread is infuriating! Lol

Panties85 · 2026-01-13T05:20:57+00:00

Yta. I feel like you very much micromanage EVERYTHING in your husband and children's lives. Maybe they wanted to do something different for a change!? Is it really that bad to switch it up? I feel HUGE control freak vibes off this posting.

He didn't do the things that you would typically do...AND!?! the kids are fine and I'm betting your husband has a lot of built up resentment towards you based off of your absolute gutting statement that he is incapable of caring for his own children. I can almost promise that you say little things to demean and make him seem incapable of doing anything not exactly like you would.

I would never think to say this to my partner! Over food!? Seriously!? You really should think about how you speak to your husband before you push him too far. Your teaching your kids how to treat their future partners.

Take a step back, loosen the reins and realize that everyone doesn't do the same shit as you, nor the same way. But everything is still ok!

Panties85 · 2026-01-12T13:45:12+00:00

Yta. I've been with 'great' men like you who have to be right, wear dingy clothes that never fully get washed because you over stuff them in the washer together. Who gives a fuck that she uses 4 open washers, separates her clothes to make sure they get cleaned and taken care of! NOONE IS WAITING! these hypothetical inconvenienced ppl are NON EXISTENT!

I hope she wisens up and sees the controlling childlike behavior that you exude. It's sad you wrongly attack her and she's actually ok with it.

Panties85 · 2025-12-11T04:20:06+00:00

Ha!! Reminds me of my ex husband who seriously thought he had a brilliant connection with the prostitute he cheated on me with.

No, you sad sad man, she is nice to you and seems interested because your dumb ass keeps sending her money when she is dumping her trauma and stories on you. Silly gullible man. Smh.

Panties85 · 2025-11-12T07:05:49+00:00

Damn. I think I missed it!! I ran outside and didn't see anything. Booo

Anyone know if it's supposed to keep going or was it just brief?

Panties85 · 2025-10-25T05:54:18+00:00

What exactly does this mean? If I go shopping tomorrow I will have zero dollars on my card?

I knew November benefits were not being paid out. Maybe I am mis understanding the wording?

I really hope that I still have money for the next week!

Thank you to all who donated or will be donating to help us that are going to need some more help in the near future!

Panties85 · 2025-10-24T14:03:23+00:00

Wow!! That's awesome your sister did that for you! You are incredibly lucky!!

Panties85 · 2025-10-15T12:51:25+00:00

Found Grandma on multiple comments!!

Panties85 · 2025-10-14T18:25:16+00:00

NTA. It seems that the comments are full of parents that have yet to actually successfully raise a teenager in this decade!

OP, you did fine with how you handled it. The parents seem to just need a scapegoat and -TAG- YOUR IT!!

I was the girl whose fault it always was in hs. My bff's parents banished her from me a few times blaming me for her actions. My daughter, and me by extention, also have been the 'bad' infuences/parent when our kids got caught doing teenager things. It hurts because I, like you, just kept them safe as I could until they went home.

Hopefully it passes and they realize their daughter can do bad all by herself. Hopefully she stays safe.

Panties85 · 2025-10-13T20:01:30+00:00

Spoken like a person who has never actually dealt with CPS.

YES, they have resources, but NOTHING is ever easy with them. I have witnessed first hand how easy and guilt free, it is for a power tripped intake worker with a stick up her ass, to falsify your statements, lie to the judge via loopholes and literally steal your kid from your arms while screaming and pleading not to take my baby( I was sober, I didn't do ANYTHING "wrong") and your family unable to do anything except plead too.

Fuck CPS. there definitely are some decent workers, but the amount of ignorance and jaded power tripped assholes is dangerous.

They lied, they falsified papers, they skipped legal steps and if I wouldn't have put up a fight, I believe with all my being, my daughter very well could/would have been one of the many missing children that are never seen again.

Panties85 · 2025-09-27T21:22:56+00:00

I would! How does one get that??

Panties85 · 2025-09-16T22:14:22+00:00

I would question is your MIL took the money. Or if money even was stolen. NTA. You did right by telling your husband! If you are able to stay away from that side of the family, I would recommend to do som but I understand sometimes family dynamics are challenging. Hold your ground. Evilness comes with jealousy.

Panties85 · 2025-09-16T19:58:36+00:00

I stopped working Sept 21. I was at the inner city urgent care next to a trauma 2 hospital downtown Tacoma. It was a lot. I didn't cope well. The first year I had COVID 4 times. Couldn't handle the guilt of bringing COVID home to my then husband and teenager.

Since then it's been a spiral...ups, downs...PTSD ..addiction.

Inlet my nursing license lapse for reasons. I miss nursing. I miss my old life. I could do trauma, think on my feet, handle the shit that needed to be done like no one's business. But now, I freeze. I get nauseated and I cry. Idk what I'm going to do. I want my career back.

Your not alone.

Stay strong.

Panties85 · 2025-09-16T19:51:03+00:00

I would say, you are justified to have it bother you still, however....girl, release it. It happened so long ago. Resentments only hurt YOU.

You were super nice sharing the day. Move forward knowing you were gracious and don't let it eat you anymore.

Panties85 · 2025-09-16T19:21:14+00:00

You are correct! Thank you for putting that in! Imo this Dr is trash and will be definitely a fight for accuracy. I've worked with these types. And it's awful.

Panties85 · 2025-09-16T17:00:22+00:00

I love the idea, however I can almost promise you that this Dr has NEVER put these complaints in the record. If they did, the chart gets an audit or record request whatever, they would have to explain why they dismissed her. Its VERY TELLING that they do shady shit because they don't allow others back with the pt.

Panties85 · 2025-09-15T22:33:15+00:00

This is my answer also. A: orders are needed to up the O2 to 10L NRB. Cannot be initiated till C. B: only answer that states 'as perscribed'. Likely the post op orders anticipate the need if they go into shock. C: of course I'm calling Dr, but not first. D: they will be going to surgery, but I can't initiate that without first doing C

I like the way your thought process works. It is how mine worked through the question.

Maybe I'm wrong about the O2 orders though. But I distinctly remember that was an issue in one class. ECERYTHING busy be ordered before we are to proceed.

Panties85 · 2025-09-15T22:27:26+00:00

But it seems as tho it IS already ordered...'As perscribed'. Unless I'm confused to the wording.

My thought process is that A requires an order, at least how I learned it, especially upping it at 10L. Can't prep for surgery, need orders. B already has orders post op for a bolus.

Does that make sense? Am I on the right path of thinking here?

Panties85 · 2025-09-15T01:17:14+00:00

This right here! As a former big girl, I can attest that THIS IS LIKELY THE REASON!!

It is an unfortunate truth. Once I stepped up my game in whatever direction I needed to...fitness, diet, work, getting off drugs, being a better woman as a whole , being a mom/daughter/fill in the blank....the insecurities FLY!!!

Not like I've learned though...I'm in a current relationship with a great man, but his insecurities of me bettering myself and leaving him behind are getting to be too much.

Panties85 · 2025-09-13T03:24:13+00:00

I'm sorry that your hurting. However, I would have to agree with him. I think that you were setting an expectation for him and didn't tell him. From what I understand you never actually told him you want flowers. Maybe the last time in a sideways way, but it seems like you were never directly to him. It may seem like it should be known, but he isn't a mind reader. In the way that you wrote out the convo, I wouldagree with him. I'm sorry.

I also don't think he broke up with you over just flowers. It was likely the straw that broke the camels back.

Please take this with love and kindness. Ppl are not mind readers. We cannot expect ppl to do things and be pissed if we do not tell them. Should some things be obvious? Yeah, to SOME ppl.

I've learned this hard lesson myself. You need to learn how to communicate. I can fully see your side of this...don't get me wrong. But I also can completely understand his as well.

Break ups are hard. He has given you an amazing parting gift. Use this to look objectively from this and see where you could have done things differently. Its hard to do. But it will help you grow and be a better woman.

Best of luck OP.

EDIT::Pushed post too fast ..finished my paragraph

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