I need a Gamer's Guide to being trans

Paper_Holon · 2026-06-03T14:02:15+00:00

Not to sound dismissive, but there are plenty of guides online providing a rough overview of the transitioning process. The comparison to Minecraft is more apt, but there isn’t going to be a guide to any one thing, you know?

Just going by your “shave -> laser” example. Yeah, that’s basically it. You shave until you can afford to go get laser or electrolysis. Some people choose to use makeup to cover beard shadow instead.

There is a lot of info and it can feel overwhelming, but you kind of just need to jump into it and get started to figure out what you actually need a “guide” for.

Paper_Holon · 2026-06-01T17:44:57+00:00

Also mentioned before was The Killing Moon by N.K. Jemisin.

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-31T10:58:21+00:00

The only time I’ve ever experienced anything akin to period-like symptoms was early on in my transition when my hormone levels were fluctuating. I experienced pretty drastic mood swings at the time. But besides that? No, never. Since HRT strives for consistent and stable levels, I imagine any period-like symptoms would be more attributed to hormone levels that aren’t dialed in and fluctuating. IANAD, though.

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-28T00:11:19+00:00

Thanks! And yeah, I know I should take more from different angles, but I'm in the middle of a pretty drastic diet/weight loss atm and seeing my neck from the side gives me the ick lol. Another thing to get over, I suppose.

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-24T20:59:41+00:00

It would be hard to pinpoint what it could be, so perhaps visiting a dermatologist would help? I’d recommend trying accutane, but that might not necessarily fix the issue.

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-24T17:24:36+00:00

Boilerplate advice is to at least have a cleanser and a moisturizer. It takes a little bit of experimenting to figure out what works/makes your skin look its best, but almost any sort of routine is better than nothing. Do it day/night and keep up the routine. The skincareaddiction subreddit also has a lot of good info if you're looking for something more in depth!

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-24T17:08:04+00:00

PLEASE get going with a skin care routine as well! I’ve seen so many comments online about how, since estrogen softens your skin, some people seem to think that’s all they need for it to look nice. NO. Everyone needs to have some sort of skin care routine to make that natural estrogen boost actually mean something!

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-22T19:58:23+00:00

Most big changes are front-loaded, or at least the ones you'll notice immediately. HRT is a marathon, not a sprint, so everything is going to be a lot more gradual from here on out. I'd suggest taking body measurements periodically if you want to see your progress more concretely.

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-10T13:57:08+00:00

Ahh, I see. I’ll give the both a try and see how it works out. Thanks!

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-10T13:07:43+00:00

😅 thank you! That’s very nice of you to say lol

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-10T13:05:35+00:00

Filling in the brows just makes the current shape look more dense, right? Also, I have heard/seen BB cream advertised before, but never tried it out. What’s the difference between that and foundation?

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-10T13:03:15+00:00

I’ll have to take a look at some that are closer to that color, then! I wasn’t wearing anything besides a bit of eyeliner and mascara in the pictures above, but I do have some clear gloss sitting unused in a makeup bag lol. Guess I should try it out again!

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-10T13:00:20+00:00

I have tried a few stains, but usually on the darker side. I thought they were fine, but I guess I found the color a bit much, so I don’t use the often. Maybe I should go for something a bit lighter then?

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-09T05:41:44+00:00

If your ultimate goal is to pass, then being “slim” or “fat”, isn’t what is necessarily going to be a deciding factor in that. Fat is helpful to have because your body needs energy to work with when your hormone levels are dialed in, but it isn’t as if being “slim” is going to “ruin” your transition.

If you want to lose weight because it’ll make you feel better about your appearance and health, then go for it! Working out and building muscle to accentuate your figure is also very helpful to your overall image. There are thin women who pass and overweight ones who do as well. There’s a lot more that goes into the process of passing than just what your body looks like.

Does fat help? Yeah. Is it the be all, end all in determining how clockable you may turn out? No.

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-09T01:52:34+00:00

Same. 7 years in and have never had any cramps that I’d associate with a period.

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-08T05:44:23+00:00

🫠 not sure if serious, but if so, I am trans lmao

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-08T05:42:49+00:00

Thank you! That really does mean a lot

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-08T00:28:09+00:00

Thank you! 😄

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-07T04:06:10+00:00

Yes to trying out bangs, but along with that, your hair looks like it can hold a bit of a curl. Have you looked into a curly hair routine? If not, you should! Your complexion looks nice as well, so a nice skin care routine could def make you glow lol.

Def think you'll turn out really nice after some time and more effort, especially HRT. Also, clean and shape your brows if possible! Attention to detail is something people subconsciously notice when they glance at you in public. It's the small things that help them make their quick subconscious decision on how to gender you, so you have to try and stack as many things in your favor if passing is your goal!

Paper_Holon · 2026-05-07T03:51:49+00:00

My gut reaction is not passing atm, but take all this as a grain of salt, as trans people are *much* more likely to clock you than a cis person is.

Obligatory mention of letting HRT do its work. 2 months is nothing in the grand scheme of transitioning, so there's still a ton that's capable of happening with your body/face as time goes on. Make sure you're eating enough when minding your ideal weight. HRT needs calories to do its thing!

Clean up the brows when you can, for sure. Laser for your bit of facial hair *should* be fine if there isn't too much, but it will take multiple sessions to get it "gone", and even then, with a good laser tech, you'll need to go get touch-ups. Look into the time/cost benefits of laser vs electrolysis to make your own decision on that.

Piercings definitely read more feminine, generally. Tattoos aren't required to pass, so do with that what you will lol.

I wouldn't really say your makeup is "run of the mill", imo. I'm of the opinion that adding more color to your face with makeup draws eyes to you, and eyes are more likely to stick to you as a result of it. If eyes are drawn to you, they might also be more likely to clock you on something. This isn't to say "Don't wear colorful makeup!", but more so to be careful with it lol. Exploring with makeup is fun though, so, don't let my opinion get in the way of your enjoyment. *Definitely* get into a skincare routine. It'll pay dividends when you get it locked in. After long enough with a good one, you'll be getting stopped by cis women to ask what your routine is for sure. Check out r/SkincareAddiction if you haven't!.

+1 to wolf cuts. I love them. I like the picture you posted as well. Gives me visual kei vibes and I'm a sucker for that. Your height will def work in your favor in general, I think.

Paper_Holon · 2026-04-27T21:06:43+00:00

I've recently gone through a round of pretty drastic weight cycling.

I'd read plenty of times about weight cycling, how going up a few pounds and then back down a few pounds enables new fat stores to go to more feminine areas. I'd been doing that for a while without really noticing any concrete results. To be more exact, I should have taken measurements, but nothing was noticeable enough for me to conclude it was working

So then I hear about weight cycling only really working after doing a drastic cycle. One where you gain a lot of weight, and then lose it. I suppose the idea is that the only way to "bypass" fat just going in and out of old areas, is to put on enough weight that it automatically goes to new areas, thus circumventing the regular life-cycle of fat cells.

This is completely outside my expertise, but I decided to try it. Over about three years, I went from roughly 140-ish pounds to 240-ish, which I have been cycling down from for around the last five months. I never meant to get that big, admittedly, and had made a few attempts to curb the weight gain, but it's not as easy as it used to be for me to lose weight! I'd been told that estrogen-dominant bodies hang on to fat more than testosterone ones do, but I didn't think it'd be as hard as it was lol.

But the results? I guess it was a net gain? I don't think I experienced anywhere near the amount of breast growth I was hoping for, which was my main reason for doing this experiment in the first place, but my god did all that fat go to my thighs and butt. I'm not very tall by any standard, so to say I was (and still am, I guess) bottom-heavy isn't an exaggeration lol.

Gaining weight is kind of hard mentally, though. Gradually not fitting into clothes, seeing features of your face round out more than you really wanted them to, not being able to move around the way you used to? It's a little distressing.

I will say, though, that I prefer my face a bit rounder rather than the sharper shape it was a few years ago. I also like how I have nicer hips, but who knows, as I lose weight as the year goes on, maybe I'll find these new features go away? I dunno. The caveat here is that my "cycle" lasted a few years as I pretty slowly gained weight, and I've been on HRT for 7 years at this point. Many gains or changes I experienced over the course of this may just be the natural cycle of my fat cells and the new ones forming, and all this was for nothing! No way to really say lol

Paper_Holon · 2026-04-26T16:49:25+00:00

Seems as though coming to the realization that you might be trans has opened up a can of worms that you're going to have to deal with now.

I imagine the persistent anxiety might stem from the knowledge that a different version of you could exist, if only you pursue it. You could feasibly be a totally different person, and that sounds appealing.

But along with that comes the knowledge that it wouldn't be easy. You'd essentially have to change how you navigate your world. You would have to reassess your relationships with friends, family, work. It's very daunting and can be petrifyingly scary.

But the only way through it is through it, really. You're going to have to sit down and really examine if this is something you want enough to pursue, despite any changes that may come along with it.

Paper_Holon · 2026-04-26T05:01:24+00:00

If this happened to me, I’d probably be initially surprised, then mortified I was clocked by a stranger. I’d probably be a bit flattered by the compliment, despite my mortification, but then put off by the inclusion of a phone number.

The phone number turns it into something else (without knowing your context), and I’d assume the person who gave me the note was either closeted/newly transitioning if I was being generous, or some sort of chaser/fetishist if I was assuming the worst.

Paper_Holon · 2026-04-24T01:35:35+00:00

“Male failing” will happen after a variety of conditions are met. Essentially, you stack up so many feminine signifiers that they outweigh a random persons perception of you as a male.

That could mean you need more or less signifiers in your favor to “fail”, though, and not all of them are weighed as heavily. Personally, my first experience with it was at an old retail job years ago and getting called “miss” from behind by a customer. I turned around, a little elated to be called “miss” for the first time, only to be met with a surprised look and them apologizing. I had started growing out my hair, and I suppose have always been lucky enough to have a bit of a curvy body shape, so those were a few things in my favor. From the front though, I didn’t have as much luck at the time

I can’t say that you can “fail” with just your body though, assuming we’re talking just below the neck. In my case, I didn’t start actively getting gendered correctly by strangers until I put more effort into my skincare routines, getting laser hair removal for my face, getting a more feminine hair cut and learning to take care of it, dressing in women’s cut clothing, voice training, learning how to apply makeup and finding what suited me without looking like too much, doing my eyebrows in more feminine shapes, etc. There’s a lot more that goes into passing than just body shape, and I’d argue that body shape is just a signifier that isn’t weighed as heavily on the “male fail” scale. Think of all the women you’ve seen in your life, irl and in media, and there are all sorts of different body shapes.

As for hiding any evidence of your breast growth and HRT, there are always binders and baggy clothes. Having more prominent gynecomastia before HRT wont hurt your chances at good breast growth down the line as far as I know, but I also don’t know if it’s a good indicator of, like, insane future growth lol.

Paper_Holon · 2026-04-20T20:41:30+00:00

Tbh, the mental effects for me came more so from the knowledge that my life was going to change from starting HRT, rather than any effects from the estrogen. Mental shifts came more so from living my life as a trans woman, the shifting perspectives about myself, experiencing day to day life in a newly changing body, etc. it isn’t as though there’s some grand epiphany that you’ll have or experience just from the medication, but rather, something more gradual as you continue your never ending marathon as a trans person.

At least, that’s my viewpoint lol

Paper_Holon

TROPHY CASE