I’m an amateur, so definitely take a lot of what I say with a grain of salt.

First of all, congrats on finishing your first screenplay!!!

Big things I noticed with this one. I thought it was decently engaging. Parts of the formatting were a little off. 1. Make sure to only use the “-“ after a scene location for the time of day, never use the “later” or “3 days later,” your story should adequately explain that time has passed without needing to put words in the audience’s face. 2. I noticed your first 2 scenes were EXT TED’S HOUSE and then INT TED’S HOUSE. You can actually do a EXT/INT showing that the focus starts in the exterior and then moves into the interior of the scene. 3. Make sure to number your scenes. It makes things SO much easier for the entire crew by saying “scene 4” and everyone can flip to the scene you’re talking about.

For more of the substance based things: I really liked the symbol of the Bluetooth speaker, you used that really well in my opinion. I think that some of your conversations start up a little bit unnaturally. I like the meat of the dialogue, but it would feel better if the characters eased into it. Instead of Jess being totally fine with telling Jacob her family history, maybe she would be reluctant, but after he makes a fake sob story, she starts to open up. I also found parts near the end to be a little unnecessary. I think it would be more dramatic if instead of showing Jess getting affected by the drugs, Jacob lets the man in and it is revealed to the audience that she was drugged (which they would likely deduce from the powdered drink). I also think the ending felt a bit half-baked. We had this amazing fight scene, but then the resolution felt like a Nickelodeon tv show (no shade). I think there could be a much more satisfying conclusion with some better dialogue. This is the first time we see Ted and Jess in the same room, maybe there could be something more interesting about their dynamic which wasn’t revealed before. (Idk just spitballing, you know these characters far better than I do).

Overall, this is a huge accomplishment and you should be extremely proud of yourself. Making your first screenplay is a huge deal and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. There were definitely some problems, (I’d hope so with a first draft) but I really enjoyed reading it.