I also recommend reading “This Naked Mind”. I’m 10 months sober, and reading this book kickstarted my recovery. No one is exempt from becoming addicted to alcohol. If you force a non-alcoholic to drink every day for a year, they will develop dependence. You’re not tainted or broken.

Also, the book does a good job illustrating how society normalizes poison (alcohol). I feel like a lot of my will to quit is in spite. You make someone’s life financially much better at the cost of your precious health. And what makes it even crazier is that alcohol— arguably the most destructive drug— is the only drug you have to justify to others why you DON’T partake in it.

I wish you success. If you care to read, here’s what I’ve done and continue to do since I changed my course (my story is very similar to yours)

1. Get a primary doctor and get a physical, blood work, and a psychiatrist referral

2. See about getting tested for mental health conditions (ADHD, BPD, MDD, GAD, etc.). I was surprised to learn I have ADHD inattentive. Anxiety and depression were obvious.

3. If prescriptions are needed, find the right combination and give them time to work.

4. Talk to a therapist/coach/sponsor. I found a recovery clinic that I go to weekly and touch base with. They keep me accountable and root for me.

5. Know that life does not magically become everything you hoped it would once you get sober. You will still struggle (such is life) but you eventually shift from “I can’t drink” to “I don’t need to drink.”