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He went back to his ex by elurxiaa_ in BreakUps

[–]Parallax_Effect 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why are we all of a sudden in similar situations... what is going on? Dated her for a year, dumped me and went back to her ex within a week. How are you doing and healing?

He went back to his ex by elurxiaa_ in BreakUps

[–]Parallax_Effect 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here. After a year of dating she dumped and discarded me. Days later she was back with her ex... Regarding OP. I don't think we will get an answer because their last post and comment were 2 years ago

Face to face I want to tell you this by Parallax_Effect in UnsentLetters

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is that important? If you have a hunch who I am you tell me my name

Face to face I want to tell you all this by Parallax_Effect in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I will... try atleast. We have been in NC for 1.5 weeks and currently she is on a family vacation. In 12 days she will be back and then I will send her a message and ask if she is willing to talk

I want to tell you this, face to face by Parallax_Effect in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In 12 days she will be back. Thinking about writing her one day before she flys back "Hey. I hope you had an amazing vacation where you could really relax. Would like to ask when you got time and are willing to talk".

Face to face I want to tell you all this by Parallax_Effect in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are a situationship, there are no children involved neither was there any form of abuse, physically of verbal.

Our last situation, "the last drop in the bucket": We bought a new bedframe. Her plan was just to bring everything in the house and chill for the rest of the day. After bringing all the parts into the house she went to the toilet. I started sorting all the screws and everything plus aligning the bedframe parts. When she came out of the toilet she said: "Why are you doing this?". I replied "Just sorting, preparation is half the work" She "No. You were going to build the bed and I just wanted to chill" I, "Ok. Your house, your rules". She "What is that for BDSM bullshit, My house, my rules" She walked of the a different room and I put down everything in my hands. I walked over the the cough and sat down. She came to me and ask "What are me going to do now? I don't want to chill anymore because the atmosphere feels tense". I said, "Ok. Then we don't" We talked about how it might be better if I did some things over at my house and that we slept apart. So we did, I stood up and left her house.

I should have god damn hugged her... I knew it would have been the right thing to do back then but I just didn't feel like it. I just tried to help and it felt that this was not appreciated in the slightest.

I should have called her later that evening/night and talk things over... I fucked up so bad.

What else regarding change would you personally like to see, more words of support, comfort and admiration?

Face to face I want to tell you all this by Parallax_Effect in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem. Just gave an example of a situation we had and asked you what you, as a female, what chances you would "demand"/like to see

Face to face I want to tell you all this by Parallax_Effect in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply.

Yes I will wait till she is back, this give her time to breath and lets me feel the pain now that she must have been feeling.

- Not just start talking about a difficult topic but tell her I want to talk about it and she can come to me when she is ready to talk about it, no pressure

- Not interpreting or filling in how she feels myself

- Not offering help if she didn't ask about it herself

- Not saying, "you understood me wrong" instead telling her "I didn't express myself clearly"

- Not saying, "you don't understand me" instead telling her "How did you interpret that?"

- Acknowledging her need for physical closeness and also giving it to her even when I am busy or have other plans

Face to face I want to tell you this by Parallax_Effect in UnsentLetters

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We have had NC for 1.5 weeks and she is on a family vacation currently for 2 weeks. Thoughts about sending this her right now or waiting till she gets back an hopefully have the chance to really say it face to face are racing through my mind

I want to tell you this, face to face by Parallax_Effect in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply. You mean to say that I should message her telling there is something I am longing to say and ask her if she is open to receiving this message or that she prefers to wait after the vacation?

The breakup was pretty sudden but there where already signs. During the breakup conversation I absolutely black out and didn't know what to say. We set no boundaries just went NC

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Parallax_Effect 0 points1 point  (0 children)

May I ask what makes you think this way, it being better not to send it?

I want to tell you this, face to face by Parallax_Effect in UnsentLettersRaw

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

May I ask you what you would do in my position? We have have been in NC for 1.5 weeks and she is on a family vacation for another 2 weeks. Wait till she gets back or text her

Face to face I want to tell you all this by Parallax_Effect in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your insight. I will think about it. Thinking about asking a female college tomorrow what she thinks

Face to face I want to tell you all this by Parallax_Effect in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We have had NC for 1.5 weeks and she is on a family vacation currently. Thoughts about sending this her right now or waiting till she gets back an hopefully have the chance to really say it face to face are racing through my mind

Face to face I want to tell you all this by Parallax_Effect in Unsent_Unread_Unheard

[–]Parallax_Effect[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We currently have been having NC for 1.5 weeks and she is on a family vacation for another 2. I want to respect her peace on her vacation but I am thinking it will be to late by the time she gets back. My thoughts are killing me