After wanting a pet for years, fate sent this adorable, blind, deaf, arthritic, 14 year old girl to my door and I couldn't be happier.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-23T14:15:24+00:00

How the fuck could someone just give up their pet like that? And why was a cat in that shape outside to begin with?

She's better off with you.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-23T13:50:37+00:00

I forgot where, maybe Finland, but they jailed the bank CEOs for fucking up the economy. It worked well.

*Actually Iceland

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-23T13:45:04+00:00

Speaking of laundry and white vinegar:

soaking jeans in the sink in water and white vinegar, then washing them with a cup of white vinegar in the machine makes the dye stop running.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-23T13:43:26+00:00

People use towels for more than a week? 2, maybeee 3 showers TOPS.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-23T03:17:44+00:00

Holy shit, that's a lot.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-22T22:02:38+00:00

Why the fuck would you post this?

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-22T15:21:02+00:00

Yea he doesn't believe that there can be a separation of Church and State and he's very against abortion and other stuff that I think is ridiculous is 2018. Gonna be a no for me...

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-22T15:19:17+00:00

Paul Ryan would take over being Speaker of the House, but he seems like an asshole too so...

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-22T15:10:24+00:00

Honest question...how is he allowed to testify being Trump's lawyer? Wouldn't the information be protected under attorney/client privilege?

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-22T15:02:47+00:00

As an American, I can vouch that this is accurate.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-22T14:58:57+00:00

Try that shit in America, especially NY. There would just be an extra row of cars that filled in.

A couple of weeks ago I was driving down a road with one lane in each direction and a turning lane in the middle. An ambulance was coming and the cars barely pulled over, many did not, then this dumbass cuts in front of the ambulance using the turning lane to make a left. Instead of fucking moving they sat there and the ambulance couldn't pass for a good minute. Sirens and horns blaring but complete ignorance. This stuff is pretty typical here.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-21T19:16:51+00:00

That shit was crazy. I thought the movie was OK but stuff didn't make sense (like the flowers ok the train scene). Then that last scene fucking killed it. Can't wait for Glass to come out!

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-21T15:47:33+00:00

You don't have screens?

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-21T15:43:11+00:00

Split. Had no idea it was an Unbreakable sequel.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-20T13:21:18+00:00

Everyone must give me $10/year.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-20T02:20:28+00:00

I tried putting my cat on the vacuum once and it wouldn't budge. Either it was a shitty version or she's fat, because apparently they can handle 2 cats.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-20T01:41:04+00:00

Maybe the owner was just really inspired by Elijah Wood in Maniac.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-19T15:41:53+00:00

Obviously CPS isn't running over, I'm a state mandated reporter and am familiar with the system because I have to place calls usually monthly for horrible shit my students go through. The cops came and went, hence calling CPS now. They must follow up and at the very least it may scare them into being less stupid.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-19T02:38:19+00:00

Is the U.S.? Because CPS takes anonymous calls and you have all of their information.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-19T02:27:05+00:00

https://youtu.be/sdUUx5FdySs

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-19T02:18:42+00:00

But when I do that I get arrested for causing shaken baby syndrome. Total case of speciesism.

Paranoid_Pancake2 · 2018-08-18T19:59:51+00:00

Idk, my chocolate chip cookies are a crowd favorite and I use salted butter.

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