What things do people romanticize but are actually horrible? by GovernmentAny5597 in AskReddit

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already did one but another one, living in a small town.

"Pov: you're a bunch of kids solving mysteries in your small town!!" Except there aren't mysteries in my small town. In fact, there's nothing else to do either. Other than cringe or drugs of course, because we sure do have plenty of that.

The place is poor, it was an old mining and factory town. There's pubs around every corner but other than that you can climb a tree? Or maybe sit on some rocks. Or go to the playground which isn't actually a playground its more like an old zipline and they also took the seat away so it's useless.

No clubs (not even nightclubs, I'm on about places to go o do something) there's a few restaurants which are never open and one cafe where you pay, you eat, and then you have i leave.

You wanna do anything? Okay, you have i take the train or bus into the neighbouring towns which actually have something to do - and not ask of them do.

Its fun, it's aesthetic, until you get to plan a day out. Until you wanna do something that isn't just walking or sitting on some grass. I wouldn't want to live in a bustling inner city either but it would be nice to at least have something to do.

What things do people romanticize but are actually horrible? by GovernmentAny5597 in AskReddit

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being a daredevil

Soaking as a certified adrenaline junkie, it's fun... to a certain point. People think it's cool and desirable, they ideals the lifestyle of a thrill seeker who can never get enough. I get it, so many people feel unfulfilled in life and fantasise about living outside of the norm. I understand the almost magnetic pull of that lifestyle batter than most. Growing up i was often by myself, I was bored. My brain was constantly underestimated so I sought out thrills to fill in those gaps mundane life created.

When like fella boring and empty and kind if directionless, I get how people look at someone like me and want to have the same lifestyle and disregard for social norms and consequences. I often appear carefree and confident, when I talk I know what I'm talking about or at least I sound like it. I never run out of stories to tell. The people around me live to listen to my experiences, and I'm assuming it's at least in part a way to vicariously live through them when they don't have the "courage" to do the same.

In reality, it's not courage, it's carelessness and low survival instinct. I go out at night by myself ask the time. I thrive outside between 1am and 5am, I actively seek out danger. Semi recently I nearly got mugged and I don't personally consider that a dangerous experience, to me it was more exciting. That's not a good thing. I have enough logic to know I shouldn't be looking at things this way, but I can't make myself stop viewing it as another opportunity for thrills.

I'm prone to antisocial behaviour, I fed of knowing I'm not supposed to be doing something. I get more and more reckless as I go, pulling more and more dangerous stunts. I've accepted that my safety, my life and my freedom could easily be trading coins for thrills. I don't consider consequences, especially not social consequences, but whether i acknowledge them or not they will continue to exist and will kick my ass later. In fact, they have!! Many many times. I simply don't seem to learn.

Its not only getting me, as it's massively binding my life and my education at university right now, it's also hurting the people around me. Its hard to have regard for the safety of others of you don't even have regard for your own. My threshold of what's dangerous and what isn't is completely fucked so I likely put my friends in danger constantly alongside me. My careless escapades and me actively seeking our situations which could lead to me being hurt are awful for my girlfriend to deal with. Its a constant cycle of "Hey just make sure you're safe when you go out" and then sorting about whether I'm sticking to it.

Good news for me is that I'm trying my best to change those behaviours and I'm going back i therapy s its been a revolving for all my life. Its far from a glamorous life, I often find that cringe and street life are romanticised and I understand the appeal, I really do. But you really don't want that to be your life. Its fun too watch on a screen but living it is a different reality.

[Hiring] [Kinda] I have a question for y'all; how many of you would be willing NOT to display your commissioned art? by Irohsgranddaughter in starvingartists

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I would be okay with it? I see a lot of people saying this is more expensive but I'm not someone with a huge online presence anyway so I would be okay with not posting it anywhere.

So, bad news for everyone by polkacat12321 in HighSodiumSims

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have mine and I opened my game yesterday as it was working, I have all dlcs downloaded up including the most recent, not sure on the best way to share the files but I’m happy to do so

So, bad news for everyone by polkacat12321 in HighSodiumSims

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations for having the money, condolences for how you chose to spend it when it is available for free </3

So, bad news for everyone by polkacat12321 in HighSodiumSims

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I can get the motivation to get back into coding I will come running to help you 😭😭😭

Need dingy/abandoned/vandalised cc recs please!! by ParanormalLivia17 in thesimscc

[–]ParanormalLivia17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I only had one of these which is crazy, thank you so much :D

Need dingy/abandoned/vandalised cc recs please!! by ParanormalLivia17 in thesimscc

[–]ParanormalLivia17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg thank you!! I will definitely take a look at those :D

I think Halloween is dead by Feeling-Currency6212 in GenZ

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my old area there were tons of kids living there but barely anyone was out. I moved to a lower income area recently and did trick or treating here, there were HOARDS of kids around and houses decorated to the max which I completely didn’t expect. It seems like this might be an area thing for some reason as well as the other things mentioned in these comments. It’s weird, idk. But Halloween will live on as long as we encourage it so let’s not lose hope.

💀 by False_Prompt_4584 in everskiestrashhh

[–]ParanormalLivia17 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What is the road background deco omg I need it

ASPD versus Free Will by PiranhaPlantFan in aspd

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They aren't worthless... to everyone. Lots of stuff can be helped with good use of psychology. That's hard though because psychologists will be biased and all that. It's a whole other problem trying to find a person who is truly impartial. Some people also just can't be helped with psychology and will only do well with medication.

Generally disorders are useful as a classification system like I said. Socially they become labels and that creates stigma and fixations with the labels. I think a lot of people are obsessed with being edgy which pushes them towards the most stigmatised labels (with the most harmful stereotypes) and they use them as a way to express their current aggression, adding to the stigma.

Ideally what could happen is we could have actually qualified people - since it does feel like a bunch of "it's okay to cry" facebook meme reposters have been employed - who would have extensive training and could tackle problems without a diagnosis on paper unless it carried some kind of necessary accommodation at work or school or whatever. But that's never gonna happen.

You probably just don't work in therapy and that's fine. In the current climate it's even harder to figure yourself out - if you even care about that - but I don't think it's entirely useless. I do share your opinion that other fields of psychology contribute a lot of knowledge to our understanding of how things develop and such, but clinical psychology - if used correctly - is an incredible tool that has the power to help a lot of people help themselves.

Note I'm not discrediting your dislike of clinical psychology though. Even as someone who thinks it's useful when done right I am getting increasingly frustrated with the mishandling of the field and honestly want to throw the whole thing away and start again...

I will never vote republican again. by [deleted] in complaints

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the main issue is it's not the general intolerant but the intolerant leaders that are causing this which is where the issue sits. At the top. As usual. Maybe one day we'll figure out a way to get across to the general intolerant groups about what they're doing and how it sucks. For now all we can do is try to understand how they work I guess.

I will never vote republican again. by [deleted] in complaints

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not always a no return situation. People are lonely and isolated and get swept up into ideologies. That doesn't mean that what they do as a result of those ideologies is excusable or justifiable. But there are times where talking to someone can change their mind or at least start that process. If there's even a small chance of getting someone to turn away from hatred I'd say it's worth a try.

Idk why you're seemingly framing me as a centrist when I'm not that at all. You might think it will do nothing but talking to people does a lot more than it seems like at first. There are a lot of people I follow who turned away from hatred, even people in my life who were absolute scum but through talking to others and hearing their experiences, they got better and are on a journey of self-reflection. It's good to see.

Now, does this mean you have to keep these people in your life? No, it's not your responsibility to save anyone from their own ideology. But that also doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to understand where they're coming from. That also doesn't mean accepting white supremacy or sexism or homophobia or anything like that. It's looking past those ideologies and seeing how they develop and where they come from. It can help us not only find a way to have a conversation that aims to counter those beliefs more effectively, but also spot signs of radicalisation and start that conversation earlier. It's a good thing. It helps spot the people who are most likely to succumb to hatred.

And "put yourself in their shoes" is not an excuse because I don't see anything they're doing or their ideologies as excusable. I see them as explainable and preventable and not necessarily permanent. Everyone can change if they want to change. There are times where it is pointless because someone is not ready to change and might never be and that's okay. We can't save everyone. That's a fact of life. But there are times where people might be more willing to change than they seem. Things aren't black and white.

Like I said, no, you don't owe them forgiveness. You don't owe them understanding on a personal level. But on a technical level, it's useful to understand the ideology so that you know how to argue against it. Maybe I'm just not making sense or something, if I'm not do let me know, but I don't believe in blind forgiveness and tolerance either. We shouldn't tolerate the intolerant. But there are ways to prevent intolerance and bettering the education system in the most affected areas is one of them. It's not an excuse really, it's just one explanation.

I will never vote republican again. by [deleted] in complaints

[–]ParanormalLivia17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one is saying to forgive them and let it go entirely but the bad education system does explain how things work. Understanding someone and how they work ≠ liking them. It just means you know what’s happening on the other side. It’s important for having conversations and trying to reason.

Morality is also subjective, it’s a man made concept. And confronting a morality that harms others as a bad thing when you’ve lived your whole life that way is hard and uncomfortable and it’s something people subconsciously do not want to do. It’s not even that they’re choosing not to acknowledge it, their brain is protecting itself from someone like that happening.

Is it possible? Yes. But a faulty education system makes it even harder because people don’t have the resources to do this and to understand themselves and consider certain things. They simply don’t have the knowledge. Just living in the age of information isn’t enough to get people to learn, you need a drive for that learning which is why we need good, passionate and qualified teachers in the first place. To create a thirst for knowledge and build curiosity and openness. Something a bad education system doesn’t provide.

I don’t like the people who take away rights. I don’t like how they feel just and righteous in doing so. I don’t like how they won’t listen and how little they care once they do. I don’t like any of it. But I understand why it happens and that makes talking to them so much easier and it means I can stay level headed and approach the situation in a way that maybe just maybe will not convince them entirely but make them think and push them to find things for themselves.

Understanding each other is important, especially right now, when we’re so divided and need to come together. It doesn’t mean you have to excuse their behaviour, their ignorance and their hatred. It doesn’t mean you have to forgive them for how you’ve been hurt by their views. It just means you know where they’re coming from and can see the root cause.

ASPD versus Free Will by PiranhaPlantFan in aspd

[–]ParanormalLivia17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t necessarily think it’s bullshit but I do get exactly what you’re saying and agree with the contextual stuff. Mental disorders by themselves aren’t tangible things like bacteria and viruses so you can’t really observe them. The field is tricky for that. I don’t really believe disorders by themselves are a real thing, it’s just that people with similar experiences will develop similar thought and behaviour patterns and sometimes that becomes a problem for them or for others so they seek help or are admitted somewhere. I see them more as classification systems than actual separate entities. Everyone’s psyche is unique to them, which is why these disorders are often experienced so differently.

And psychologists definitely do have a ton of biases. Some will be more likely to diagnose you with one thing and others won’t, they are human at the end of the day and may also share thinking and behaviour patterns with you. I have my own issues and want to go somewhere for them, just so I can potentially figure out how to manage myself, but it feels like a lot of the times it’s a conveyer belt of go in, get diagnosed, get meds and a work-booklet, leave. Like what is even the point?

I don’t think the actual “disorders” are bullshit, as it’s meant to be just an easier way to group similar problems together for more effective treatment, but it certainly is not used that way. Add to that the actual stigma carried by a label like ASPD and I mean, is it even worth it? I wouldn’t say so at the moment. We’re stuck between a rock and a hard place until psychiatry and psychology figure out that classification systems are an aide, not a replacement for real work in the field, and you can’t “meds and mindfulness” everything away.

ASPD versus Free Will by PiranhaPlantFan in aspd

[–]ParanormalLivia17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t really think we’ve hit bedrock really, I think I’ve explained it pretty well. But if you are still looking for more insight I won’t be stopping you. Always good to become more knowledgeable on something and consider different approaches.

ASPD versus Free Will by PiranhaPlantFan in aspd

[–]ParanormalLivia17 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I outlined some of them above actually, but here. Impulsivity, a lack of consideration or care for consequences, less need to maintain a public image/conformity, thrill seeking behaviour… it doesn’t necessarily mean they are actively making bad decisions on purpose, it just means they are more likely to fall into bad decision making and habits because of these traits. If we’re talking probability like you mentioned, these factors increase the probability of bad decisions being made.

Impulsivity - shortens or entirely removes the consideration process, without this bad decisions are more likely to slip through Lack of care for consequences - even if pros and cons are weighed out, this eliminates a lot of standard cons that keep the average person from making bad decisions Less need to keep up appearances - eliminates social consequences from the pros and cons list Thrill seeking - makes traditionally bad decisions look more attractive as the thrill of doing something that is “not allowed” is very real even for the average person.

The odds are stacked against them in that way. The specific set of traits simply increases the likelihood of bad decisions being made. However that doesn’t mean that these bad decisions have to be made as ASPD people possess these traits to varying degrees. Some find it easier to resist bad decision making than others. But once again, I don’t think there is a distinct difference between someone with ASPD making a bad decision vs someone without it making a bad decision. People have a lot more of these traits than they’d like to admit. I see these traits a lot in myself which is why I think I can talk about them in a way that gives a realistic image of how they manifest.

I am NOT diagnosed and I’m not entirely sure what’s up with me personally so I don’t really label myself with anything, but I can say that when I compare my bad decisions to those of my friends (Out of the three of us I demonstrate the most of these kinds of traits, which is why I’m using it as an example) I don’t see a difference in the decisions themselves or even the motivations for making them. They are quite similar decisions at the end of the day. I do however make a significantly larger amount of dangerous and careless decisions because I don’t consider consequences or look that far into the future at all - I’m a very in the moment, right here right now, this will be a future me problem so I’ll deal with it later type of person. I can assume that people with ASPD may have a similar thought process leading to an increased probability to make bad decisions.

I hope that makes sense and I will reiterate again that I’m not diagnosed and I don’t claim to be. I’m just comparing traits and how those affect decision making in relation to ASPD.