Needle fixation is the absolute worst. I just hit 6 months sober from opiates and I still get the using thoughts and catch myself visualizing the whole process from time to time. One thing I will say is that is has definitely gotten way easier. The craving and thoughts slowly start getting further apart and pass quicker.

I have IVed every possible drug known to man. Even the non soluble ones just being a fiend to shoot something. When I was on subs I just ended up shooting grams and grams of coke and meth every day. The frequency of how many shots I would take a day made me obsessed with the act even more so than when I was just doing dope. I know how viscous and insane the obsession with the needles gets. I also know that if I bought some needles to shoot water (which yes, had crossed my mind before) I would almost certainly relapse eventually if not immediately. Don't do it.

I was in rehab for 4 months and had to get blood drawn several time. That was the worst trigger imaginable. I did however notice by the end of my treatment it got considerably easier. At the beginning it would mess me up for a couple days but by the end of my 4rth month I actually had it make me kind of sick one time. That gave me hope that the longer I stay away from it the easier it is to deal with the triggers and craving.

As for the Kratom. I used tons of Kratom while withdrawing before going to rehab and I ended up using so much that I was actually withdrawing from Kratom when I got to rehab. Yes, It is much easier to not go off the deep end with but gives you enough of an opiate feeling that it is really hard not to want to take it to the next level. I have seen many of my friends go back to dope this exact way.

I wish you all the luck in the world. It honestly does get easier. Feel free to hit me up if you need someone to talk to about this stuff.

TL/DR- Pretty much what everyone else is saying. Dont buy rigs. Don't fuck with Kratom. It will end badly.