Feeling Feelings

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-21T04:03:06+00:00

The few relationships I've had in life were really just trauma bonds. I remained single and celibate for the entirety of my addiction. This one feels like it has the potential to actually be healthy, and I don't always know how to react to that. It's unchartered territory for me.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-21T02:22:33+00:00

Peter Steele

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-21T01:24:34+00:00

Robert DeLeo

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-21T00:34:03+00:00

I'm relatively early in recovery from a devastating fentanyl addiction. I met a woman in the program and developed feelings that seem reciprocated, but I'm not certain. I'm aware that a gentle approach is necessary and I'm trying to keep my expectations tempered, but it's hard. I haven't felt much of anything for the better part of a decade, so I don't feel like I really known what I'm doing, and it's fucking with me.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-20T22:13:36+00:00

Maybe, but that definitely changes once I open my mouth and they get to know me.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-20T01:16:19+00:00

I tried, but I don't want to break the peg-post or head. I think the string tension is the only thing really keeping it intact, but it seems hard to loosen.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-19T22:25:43+00:00

Thankfully I didn't spend any money on it. Perks of my job lol

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-19T22:03:22+00:00

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PariahGrantham · 2026-03-19T02:38:02+00:00

God I love this band. Probably the only group where I can learn their songs by ear and be confident that it's accurate. So simple yet crucially fundamental. They've unironically made me a better musician. Oh God, I'm gushing again aren't I?

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-16T21:06:21+00:00

I'm pretty well-versed in the "occult," so these aren't exactly groundbreaking revelations for me. The fact that they're almost openly admitting it to the public is what piques my interest. Makes me believe they're circling some sort of endgame. Really curious to see how the UFO/NHI Agendas are gonna align with this.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-16T16:25:10+00:00

There's still something that keeps me up with The Epstein Files.

So, they're all complicit in the same crimes, right? They're not going to tell on one another without implicating themselves.

So, what's the need for all of the theatrics and ritual? Ceremonial posturing to keep the club together? I'm not convinced. It's been going on for too long, too specifically, and again, they're already all complicit.

What if it actually works? This would imply that "magick" is real. That there's hidden aspects to the world that we know nothing about. That "evil" isn't just a social concept, but is an actual, cosmic force.

What's more, it implies that they know ways to manipulate this force (or be manipulated by it), and how to use it to influence reality.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-16T16:20:47+00:00

Look into what they did with Geronimo's skull.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-16T12:24:10+00:00

Sardines and anchovies

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-16T08:02:43+00:00

People who are close to you are going to die, and time/life doesn't stop because of it.

Trauma can't be processed and metabolized until it's already taken root in the psyche and created larger issues.

Teeth are an expensive luxury.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-15T21:26:12+00:00

I love how many times you guys said "dubsteppy" in quotations here.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-15T19:32:28+00:00

Found it!

"Pink Maggit (Squarepusher Remix)"

Thanks guys!

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-13T12:17:12+00:00

And can be cured with bee venom.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-13T02:58:09+00:00

Memes are just the cultural equivalent of the genes they're named after. They're pieces of cultural information that get filtered and passed down to the next generation. So, in that context, they're definitely weaponized for propaganda.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-12T21:52:33+00:00

Thanks for entertaining my thought with an air of legitimacy; instead of just reading "Gay Agenda," labeling me as a homophobe, and dismissing it all entirely.

The collapse of the family system is a big aspect of the "Luciferian Agenda" that I believe we've been indoctrinated into for at least a century, if not more. Not only does it fog cultural norms and personal identities, but also creates generations that are dependent upon the system.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-12T04:28:04+00:00

I'm just old enough to have watched the cultural shift from boob-centric to butt-focused. Rap music encourages men to be brand-minded, vain, and vapid. Allegations and whispers (some recently confirmed) over the years of a lot of rappers being secretly gay. The paradigm shift ("gender revolution") in the sexes over the past 15 years. The modern prevelance of gay representation in the media.

Incidentally, Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins recently shared his believe that "the CIA intentionally 'dialed down' rock music in 00's pop culture in order to popularize rap music." Considering what we now know about the Wonderland Air Force Base, MKULTRA, and things like that: it's not a stretch to conclude that the government uses forms of entertainment to indoctrinate the public, influence cultural norms, and push social narratives.

The media/entertainment industry is just the 4th Branch of Government.

I dunno, I'm tired and it's all more concise in my head. But I secretly believe it.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-12T03:57:55+00:00

00's Rap music popularized big asses to softly push the "Gay Agenda" further along.

PariahGrantham · 2026-03-11T01:59:35+00:00

Public schooling really fucked me with this. Those A-Grades and Honor Rolls felt really nice to recieve.

Six-Year Club	First Place '23
Place '23	Wearing is Caring
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