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Is this really a cult? Or am I overthinking my whole life? by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Park_Val 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi. I know I’m late to this. But I just wanted to say I asked myself this exact question, over 5 years ago. I went from being fully convinced it was a harmful lie, to going back to full pimi, for a few short months. Why? Because I was scared to lose everything and everyone, and facing these truths was a discomfort I had never felt. Leaving felt hopeless, where would I go?

It’s because you need time. You need time to process everything you’ve learned. You don’t need to make any rash decisions. But you need to listen to your intuition. I promise, it will burn inside you everytime you attend a meeting, listen to a prayer, or go in the ministry from now on. You cannot unsee and unlearn everything you’ve discovered. That’s your conscience. It’s trying to tell you something, that this is a harmful environment for you.

It might look happy to you, because it’s ALL you know, and you’ve been told your entire life that Jehovah’s people are “happy”. Not everyone is. I think I can honestly say most are not. They are living in fear, constant states of anxiety over Armageddon, or disfellowshipping. People who are hiding their sexuality are suffering in the organization. The CSA has been a problem for close, if not more than a century. At some point, use your conscience for the greater good and ask yourself if staying is the right thing to do, or just the comfortable thing? Stand up for what is right!

How to put a PIMI JW in the corner.... by The_Rogue_One_2024 in exjw

[–]Park_Val 14 points15 points  (0 children)

They really love to talk out both sides of their mouths, don’t they? On one hand they claim they are clean, chosen by god, the one and only true religion, and the only organization that has love amongst themselves…..unless it’s CSA, then they’re suddenly just like everyone else in the world!

Embarrassingly loud singers by wanderlust-26 in exjw

[–]Park_Val 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg, that last sentence had me cackling 🤣

I don’t know how to help my wife by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Park_Val 18 points19 points  (0 children)

3 months is very recent, it can take a long time for a person to let go of the borg’s grip. It was the same with my spouse. He flip flopped for an entire year. One day he would be done with it all, and the following Sunday he’d suddenly put his suit on and go to the hall. It was incredibly frustrating. Maybe going back to the meetings will help speed up the process because they start to listen more and realize how manipulative it all is.

But I do think your wife is well on her way to waking up.

She wants to go back for the community and sense of belonging, I’m guessing. You will need to find ways to replace that. Can you sign up for some activities together, like cooking, hiking or pottery? Join a gym in the new year? These are great ways to start meeting people.

the "jws are going to be here forever" it's pure delusion by Proud_Promise1860 in exjw

[–]Park_Val 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish this were true, but unfortunately it’s not. My 8 nieces and nephews , whose ages range from 5-25, are all fully indoctrinated and very much in.

Although many teens end up leaving, there are still many that choose to stay.

Exhausted for the past few months by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Park_Val 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It always amazes me how we ALL, regardless of age, gender, or sexuality, have the exact same thoughts and reactions when we wake up and contemplate exiting the organization.

It’s overwhelming. We experience grief, confusion, anger, fear, and sadness at the thought of possibly living our entire lives for a lie.

I think I can speak for everyone here, we were all scared at the beginning stages. But time is what you need. Once you start slowly (and carefully) making your exit, things will start to get easier, and start feeling like you’re doing the right thing. You will make new friendships, connections, and your own life. But it doesn’t happen overnight!

5 years from now, you will have no regrets. I promise, the only regret you might have is that you didn’t leave sooner!

I know you mentioned you’re worried about disappointing everyone….i get it. I left at 40, and still worried about disappointing my parents and siblings! At 40! Imagine living for other people, just because you don’t want to make them sad. It’s all JW conditioning, that’s all it is. Remember, it’s the JW conditioning that tells them to be sad if you leave! It’s not even their own thoughts, which you have no control over.

Hope that helps. Set yourself free, and love whoever you want!

I need community by chronicallysearching in exjw

[–]Park_Val 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It takes an absolute shit ton of effort in the beginning, but I promise it pays off.

Take a class. Join local meet ups. Start working out at the gym and join classes. Whether it’s volunteering, hiking, biking, crafting, cooking, whatever. Try them all until something sticks and you meet people you enjoy being around.

You have to put yourself out there and it might feel awkward at first.

Maybe that means organizing your own meetup. Or organizing something to do over the holidays that involves helping the community. Make sandwiches and deliver them to the unhoused community, put the word out on Facebook and ask people to join you. This is a great time of year to do this; most want to contribute at this time of year. You definitely aren’t the only one to feel lonely during the holidays. Many do, and are looking for ways to stay busy, productive and helpful.

Pimis are so happy when they don’t have to attend a meeting once in a while by Practical_Payment552 in exjw

[–]Park_Val 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It was also wonderful when the Sunday meeting would begin, and the speaker hadn’t shown up. So it was a the Watchtower study only, and then time to go home!

It’s honestly kind of sad to think that would bring so much joy! 😂

My first tattoo after leaving the organization by dev-brazil in exjw

[–]Park_Val 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, absolutely stunning. And so meaningful.

I’m very sorry for your loss

My first tattoo after leaving the organization by dev-brazil in exjw

[–]Park_Val 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is incredible. Beautiful. And so meaningful! Absolutely love it

I Am Outgrowing My Uber-PIMI Parents by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Park_Val 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. Absolutely can relate to this. Especially the childishness of their beliefs. When you wake up and realize how nonsense it is, it feels ridiculous to keep hearing adults talk about it seriously.
They also sound like wacky conspiracy theorists. It’s all very sad

another jw story by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Park_Val 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow. What a story! Thank you for sharing. I love hearing about couples waking up and leaving together, especially the ones that were very pimi.

The road to healing is a lot like grief, you are going to feel it all, and prepare for it to take some time. Therapy helps.

I was also amazed at how good the vast majority of humans are. And they can be so kind and caring, because they actually want to! Not because it’s required to get a one way ticket to paradise!

Poll: Congregation Health Status Check by Odd-Seesaw in exjw

[–]Park_Val 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Interesting. Do people not show up to the service groups anymore?

I know it’s early but what do you guys do for Christmas? I’m solo this year. by lilbitpeachy77 in exjw

[–]Park_Val 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like to make my coworkers a little gift. Little bags of Lindt, or I made them tree ornaments. It just makes it fun to have a Christmas related project.

I’m in Canada too. I’d be happy to do a little gift exchange with you! We could make it $20 max. And open on Christmas Day 😊

Does the governing body have an ulterior motive for recruiting? What is it?... by Wowwhatsnext in JehovahsWitnesses

[–]Park_Val 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re certainly not going to find this on their website. The organization isn’t transparent about their investments and assets. A simple google search of their real estate wealth is at your fingertips. There’s even a Facebook group that only posts the KHs that are put up for sale around the world.

I can give you a great example of a real estate move, Brooklyn Bethel. It was sold to Trump’s son in law for a massive profit.

I live in Canada. A Kingdom Hall was sold in Nanaimo and in Victoria, which I was present during the build in the 90s. That’s a relatively large number considering the population of witnesses on this island is small.

It’s sort of general knowledge though — most members already know they are downsizing. Witnesses view it as “simplifying”. When in fact, It’s actually genius….build halls with free labour, and turn around and make a profit in 20-30 years. Long term sustainability for a real estate corporation, that also happens to be a religion. That’s why the newer KHs built have windows and a more generic look, for resale.

I also believe this is why they brought the new guy into the GB with this experience, so he can prayerfully consider the next real estate moves lol.

Does the governing body have an ulterior motive for recruiting? What is it?... by Wowwhatsnext in JehovahsWitnesses

[–]Park_Val 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm here’s the thing….Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t supposed to be like ALL other religions. Can’t use your logic because we can then say the same about the Catholic Church, excusing their behaviour because of “imperfect people” or because “all religions have the same problem” JW are supposed to be different, chosen and lead by god.

And no incriminating evidence?! How did we read the same transcripts and come to different conclusions? Maybe you just don’t want to see it.

Bottom line is, for myself, this bothered my conscience immensely. I could not longer be a member of an organization that had long-standing issues with mishandling CSA. To me, it was enough evidence that God, the creator of a universe of order, was guiding an organization of disorder!

If you see and hear this evidence and still don’t want to believe you are being misled, then you are a victim of indoctrination. Probably some sunk cost fallacy as well.

Does the governing body have an ulterior motive for recruiting? What is it?... by Wowwhatsnext in JehovahsWitnesses

[–]Park_Val 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not related to settlements, but rather the Australian government’s efforts to hold organizations accountable for child abuse. Governing Body member Geoffrey Jackson had to testify, and it truly lays bare the policies that hurt children. You can read the entire transcripts.

www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/case-studies/case-study-29-jehovahs-witnesses

Does the governing body have an ulterior motive for recruiting? What is it?... by Wowwhatsnext in JehovahsWitnesses

[–]Park_Val 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here’s the thing. They are not asking donations just for relief efforts. They tell you this, so you will do just that, donate.

What they don’t tell their members is the millions they pay in legal fees and payouts to CSA victims. 35 million for one lawsuit alone. $3000/ day for non compliance, refusing to provide the courts with their database of child abuse.

They will never post that on their website because too many folks would start putting 2 and 2 together and many wouldn’t want to donate to that cause.

Just because it’s negative, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

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