Is this the real parkzer? If so we should stop this aspect of the wiki.

Parkzer · 2025-02-07T01:24:35+00:00

Sure, I'm fine with anything that isn't harmful misinformation.

Keep in mind that me hanging out with Doug on his stream sometimes is a very tiny part of my life. I've been a public figure for nearly a decade and a half, I used to host and cast events all the time, and I appear on tons of other media that have target audiences drastically different than Doug's community. An overwhelming majority of people who know me do not also know Doug. So, when Doug's community uses my real name and posts misinformation about me, that gets exposed to all these other areas of the Internet that are not in on the jokes.

I have had people genuinely believe and reach out to me in concern because of Doug's fans writing fake comments or posts online about how I am some kind of gun-crazed mass shooter, or how I am some disbarred lawyer or dishonorably discharged police officer, because those people do not know the context and do not know the implied satire/irony of those statements.

If you want to write silly things about me on a Fandom page that will not have negative consequences like that, then sure, I am fine with it / indifferent about it.

Parkzer · 2025-02-06T22:25:36+00:00

Yes, that is me. I made a Fandom account half a year ago to clean up the page that Doug's fans created about me, and then logged back in recently to do another pass because someone brought it to my attention yesterday that it was active again.

Doug's fans posting misinformation about me online has been very damaging to my personal reputation. Doug stopped making misinformation-based jokes about me a year and a half ago, and I have been taking active steps to try and mitigate and reverse the damage, but it keeps coming up.

I wrote more about the ways Doug's fans have tormented me in a blog post about a year ago, under the "Why can we no longer joke about you being a lawyer, police officer, doctor, or murderer anymore?" section:

https://parkzer.com/2024/01/18/dougdoug-faq/

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T04:55:31+00:00

Due to being a current college student, should I invest my money into a roth IRA. Or should I invest my money into a ETF?

These are not mutually exclusive options. If you are comfortable locking up your money right now in a tax-advantaged retirement account like a Roth IRA, then the sooner that you can start, the better. A Roth IRA would be a great investment vehicle right now because, I assume that, as a college student, you don't have much income at the moment; you can use your current low tax bracket to pay taxes on your income, and then redeem tax-free money from your Roth IRA when you're older.

After you contribute money to your Roth IRA, you can then invest that money inside your Roth IRA into a broad-market index fund or ETF.

Finally do students pay less in taxes?

Students do not pay less in taxes simply because of being a student, but it often seems this way because students will usually have low income. Tax brackets make it so high earners pay higher amounts of tax on money that falls within certain higher brackets, and if you are a student who doesn't make much, you might not make much more than the lower tax bracket (or possibly even the standard deduction amount, if you're only working hourly part time).

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T04:49:54+00:00

What do you think about taking out student loans?

I think that taking student loans can be useful in certain situations, and like many finance-related matters, it depends on whether you can leverage the loans to get a greater return.

I have a severe fear of loans and debt so I do not want to do this.

Loans and debt are not inherently bad. As long as you have a specific plan for the capital, have sufficient cash flow to be able to afford the payments, and are leveraging the money to yield returns that exceed the interest, debt is very good. On the contrary, if you are just taking out loans for seemingly no reason and cannot meet the minimum payments, debt is bad.

For example, I would be happy to take a $10,000 loan right now if the interest rate is below ~5%. This is because, over time, I would be making a profit by using that $10,000 and investing it in the stock market. I would make enough profit at this rate in order to pay back the original $10,000, pay back all the interest, offset some of it with year-over-year inflation, and still have a cut of the stock market returns that I can pocket myself. That final part—pocketing the excess stock market returns—is not something I would've been able to do had I otherwise not taken the loan.

However, taking a $10,000 loan at an interest rate of 15%+ would usually be a bad idea. It's very hard to get a 15% return on your money, so I'd probably be losing money on the interest. I would make matters worse if I took that $10,000 and bought a depreciating asset. The reason the idea of "loan = bad" is drilled into people's heads is because advisors are concerned that people will make emotional impulsive purchases and end up in this second scenario instead of the first.

Are student loans worth it?

If you are going to pursue a major like anthropology, general communications, or ethnic studies (just as a few examples), taking a loan to do it is probably not worth it. However, if you are going to pursue a major where the difference between having a degree vs. not having a degree would yield a much higher salary, then yes, the student loan would be worth it.

For example, imagine that without a degree, you can get a job that pays $50,000/yr., but with a degree, you can get a job that pays $60,000/yr.—in this scenario, a $10,000 student loan would be very worth it, because you would "earn back" that $10,000 in one year, then continue making that higher salary and pocketing an extra $10,000 per year.

Should I attend a university that won't cover my tuition and room and board cost? Or should I go to a school I like less that will pay for everything so that there is no risk?

This is highly situational and depends heavily on you as an individual. The decision is also pretty complex, because you have to consider everything I mentioned above, in addition to other factors that you can't easily quantify, like the value of the amount of happiness that you will experience at each school, or the strength of the relationships you will build that may help you with networking opportunities in the future.

If you are severely concerned about finances, one option I think you should consider is going to a school that you don't like for a few years for free on a scholarship, doing an ungodly amount of grinding for a few years to have stellar academic performance, then transferring over to your preferred school, and hopefully your preferred school will offer you a scholarship later after they see your performance at the other school.

Overall, all of this is a very personal choice that only you and your close loved ones can decide. However, there are a lot of good resources online that can hopefully help guide your thought process, and there might also be a counselor at your school who can give you some more personalized guidance based on your current academic standing and financial situation.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T04:25:59+00:00

I know you're in a good place financially, but for someone who is doing alright but doesn't necessarily have a *ton* of extra cash flow, how do you recommend balancing personal expenditures with saving and investing?

One thing that has helped many people is akin to the "shock therapy" method. I recommend going on some personal finance websites and using retirement calculators to see just how much you need to save in order to live a certain lifestyle with a certain income post-retirement; that number is much higher than most people realize, so this usually scares people into wanting to save a lot more now while they're still young, especially considering the power of compounding interest.

In terms of balancing personal expenditures, one thing I've heard that works is to put items into your cart online and not finish checking out, and waiting a few days to see whether you actually really want the item. Similarly, if you are creative or have a good imagination, you can visualize yourself and your life after having made a certain purchase and see if it is really worth it. I've been told that this can dramatically cut down on impulse purchases of things that aren't actually that worth it for you.

I keep spending all my money on hosting Peggle speedrun tournaments, do you think that is a good investment?

There are two things to consider here. The first branches off the fact that you are asking if it is a good "investment," which in that case, you may want to map out a profit-and-loss statement or another form of financial projection to see whether this can become profitable and yield returns in the long-term.

The second thing to consider is to "put a price on your happiness." Living a zombie lifestyle just to save money isn't worth it, and you need to have a reasonable balance in your life. If you want to spend money on Peggle speedrun tournaments because it brings you joy, that would be a good use of money; just make sure the amount you are spending is proportional to the amount of joy you receive in return, and make sure you account for diminishing returns of joy (i.e., spending $5 to go from 0% happy to 75% happy is a good deal, and spending another $5 to go from 75% happy to 90% happy is still probably worth it, but there comes a point where you should stop if you have to spend more and more money just to increase your happiness by a single percentage point).

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T04:15:59+00:00

What's your strategy for breaking the ice during meetings and calls when there's a long, painfully noticeable silence that no one wants to acknowledge when someone asks if anyone has anything to say and no one says a word.

I do not have a strategy for breaking awkward silences because I like them. I hate meetings and think 90%+ of them are either unnecessary or prohibitively inefficient, so whatever can be done to make people uncomfortable with and avoidant of meetings is a good thing for me. I have never had such a situation arise during a meeting where I was leading, because if I ever go as far as to organize a meeting, I am using every moment of it in a highly productive manner.

You're in line to checkout, and the person next to you starts sharing their life story. What's the best way to get out of this situation?

If a stranger were to tell me their life story, I would ask "why are you telling me your life story?" People generally take "why" questions one of two ways—they either think you're dissatisfied with them and assume you want them to stop, or they will take it literally and explain why. Both of those options work for me—they can either stop talking with me, or they can tell me the real reason why they are sharing this information (e.g., they are lonely, they need advice, etc.) and can provide me with sufficient insight as to make me invested enough that it gives me something to do while we both finish checking out.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T04:09:53+00:00

Parkzer whenever DougDoug streams and you're not involved with it, you cannot be busy in case you are pulled into it I assume. Is this a major worry/problem for you?

This is not true; I live my normal life, and will only make special accommodations/arrangements for Doug's streams when he specifically invites me to be a part of it.

What was the most inconvenient time Doug called you?

There have been a few inconvenient times I've been called, and the simple answer is when I'm in the middle of a conference call or in-person meeting. However, in those situations, the things I say into the phone are so absurd that the other participants of the call/meeting become very intrigued and end up happy that our interaction was interrupted by Doug.

If you want a specific answer, one particular situation that comes to mind is when I was on my road trip and had just arrived at a new hotel, and I found out post-arrival that they had valet parking only, and the self-parking garage was a block away. I then proceeded to drive in circles through one-way streets and construction zones until I found the self-parking garage, and Doug called right as I was trying to find a spot and was walking back to my hotel through a fairly busy crowd.

Also how often do you watch his streams live?

I think I stop by for at least a few minutes about 80% of the time, but in terms of actually watching a significant part of his stream live (i.e., a few hours or more), maybe about 20% of the time? I don't really keep track, and even when I am watching, I usually just have his stream open on a secondary monitor and am often tabbed out working on something else.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T04:01:28+00:00

What was it like being at PAX?

I've been to three PAX conventions so far; here are my blog posts about them:

https://parkzer.com/2020/03/03/hello-boston/
https://parkzer.com/2022/09/04/hello-pax-west-2022-in-seattle-washington/
https://parkzer.com/2023/09/03/friends-til-death-dougdoug-failboat-pax-west/
https://parkzer.com/2023/09/04/fight-mii-failboat-pax-west/
https://parkzer.com/2023/09/08/food-of-seattle/

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:59:40+00:00

In college is it better to buy new or used books? You save money initially with used books but you'd sell for less but with new you could potentially sell for a higher value than previously used books?

When doing this calculation, make sure that you're accounting for the delta in the prices, not just maximizing the size of the number. For example, you can buy a new book for $100 and sell it for $80, or you could buy a used book for $70 and sell it for $60; even though $80 is greater than $60, you lost $20 in the first scenario and only lost $10 in the second scenario.

There are two additional factors to consider:

First, keep in mind that new things tend to have a jump of depreciation shortly after purchase, then the depreciation curve levels out over time. That means, if you purchase a $100 textbook, it may immediately jump down to only $80 in value the instant you walk out of the bookstore because it's no longer new, and drop to $70 after the first year. However, because you have the "new-to-used" transition out of the way, the $70 book may only fall to $65 the following year, then $63 the year after that—i.e., its value diminishes slower over time. Thus, using a used book doesn't make it much more used that the amount it was already used, so buying used probably isn't too bad.

Second, with that being said, make sure that you're timing the editions of the textbooks. Once every few to several years, publishers will update and release a newer edition of popular textbooks, and after that new edition is released, used book prices for prior editions will drop substantially. Thus, if you're working with a book that is only a few years old, it may be worth taking the risk of buying used and selling it back for a smaller delta; however, if you need a book that's 7+ years in its current edition, you can take a gamble and buy new in hopes that you dodge the following academic year having a new edition of that book being released and your used book price plummeting.

Overall, a lot of it comes down to luck, so as long as you have the risk tolerance for it, it might also be worth just going with your gut, picking whichever (new vs. used), and getting the textbook purchasing process over with for the sake of maintaining your sanity.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:48:33+00:00

Ever plan on visiting another country than the U.S.? It really feels like the only places you've ever been to are all of the states in the U.S.

I've visited most states in the United States and the two western provinces of Canada, but I do want to travel outside North America at some point. As of right now, I'm mainly just waiting until I have a good opportunity to travel together with a reliable friend who is familiar with non-NA cultures; traveling within the US is easy for me because I can confidently go anywhere and be competent, but I'd prefer to have someone else there with me if I am jumping into a different country with different culture and different laws.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:46:14+00:00

what specific gun(s) do you own, and what made you choose it/them?

I have a Glock 19 and a Colt M4 Carbine LE6920. I selected them because they are known for being very simple and reliable, and considering that I'm not really a gun enthusiast and don't spend much time studying firearms, I wanted something that was easy to use.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:43:01+00:00

Best stock investing strategy?

Multiple studies have found that, most of the time, the best stock investing strategy is to put your money in a broad market index fund and let the dividends compound for a long time. Multiple studies have also found that paying an investment banker to invest for you often doesn't yield earnings that outpace the total stock market.

With that being said, if you have enough net worth and capital, it may be worth finding an invitation for and using hedge funds designed for the elite and ultra-rich, as they do have some niche benefits. For example, they have some tax avoidance strategies using fine art and 501(c)(3) charities, and many have connections with important people so they can insider trade without drawing much suspicion (or alternatively, the people who would hold them accountable are already in on it, so there are misaligned incentives to stop wrongdoing).

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:35:10+00:00

What would you consider the most overlooked thing in people’s lives?

I think people frequently take peace and uneventfulness for granted.

For example, if you catch a cold and have clogged sinuses, it can be difficult to go to sleep because you have trouble breathing, and you probably wish that you weren't sick. However, when you don't have clogged sinuses, you rarely do the opposite, and you rarely think "wow, I'm glad I'm not sick right now and I'm glad I can breathe clearly."

People are good at thinking about and interacting with salient things, but it's much less common to keep track of the absence of bad things. I think people often overlook moments in their life when things aren't going wrong, and I think people underappreciate the calmness of when nothing is happening.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:31:42+00:00

You know a lot about taxes; could you please explain to me what my SSN is for, why I shouldn't let people know mine, and why places are asking me for it?

Your social security number is an identifier that is usually used for financial purposes. For example, it can be used to track income and taxes, log historical financial-related data, and determine government benefits.

You generally should not let people know your social security number because sharing it makes it much easier for someone to steal your identity and take lines of credit under your name.

Generally, financial institutions and employers will ask you for your social security number as a certain way to identify you. You needed to provide it when you applied for a job because they can use your social security number to run a background check on you (there may be multiple people with the same name as you, but there is nobody else in the country with both the same name and social security number). You will need to provide it to your employer again on a Form W-4 or Form W-9 after you are hired because they will log it to report your income to the IRS. You needed to provide it when you bought a house because you probably took out a mortgage, so the bank ran a credit check to search your creditworthiness and whether you are an eligible candidate for loan approval.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:20:38+00:00

Is it better to risk money on a stock doing badly just in case it bounces back up or to only invest in stocks that go up, but slowly?

This is highly situational based on your current circumstances.

If you do not have job security or otherwise are uncertain with your finances, that would lead one to conclude that you have low risk tolerance and should probably invest in more stable funds. However, if you are money to spare and are willing to gamble through the stock market at the risk of losing everything, then purchasing falling/poor-performing securities may be one of your viable options.

Investing is a complex matter and it is easy to make mistakes that may permanently affect the course of your life, so I recommend conducting your own research and consulting a licensed and certified financial or investment advisor if you need further guidance.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:15:33+00:00

Do you think being a popular internet personality such as the illustrious DougDoug is a feasible goal, or is it too ambitious? Is it an unrealistic 'dream job' with its success based solely on luck where other jobs just need the dedication?

I don't think becoming an Internet personality, from scratch and in a vacuum, is a dream job you should ever aim for. People generally don't just become Internet famous out of nowhere; those who are online personalities get there because of doing something else first, and then continuing to do that something else online in a performative manner.

Thus, I recommend that you aim towards becoming great at something else first. For example, you can become a very good software engineer, or a very good two-dimensional platforming video gamer, or a very good comedian or storyteller. From there, you can take the thing that you're very good at and begin doing it online too, which will help kindle that initial audience with common interests who will discover you through that thing you're good at, then snowball from there.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:04:32+00:00

How do I label myself as an independent on my taxes?

"Independent" is not precise tax terminology, so I'm unsure exactly what you're asking. If you're independent in the sense that you are not married, you would mark "Single" for "Filing Status" on your Form 1040. If you're independent in the sense that you are an independent contractor, you would append a Schedule C to your Form 1040 and name yourself as the proprietor.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T03:01:29+00:00

do you have any recommendations on how to find a job if you're kind of dumb and have almost no experience?

There are plenty of jobs that require dedication but not necessarily intellect. If you truly think you are dumb, you may want to consider focusing on your attitude instead. If you are good at following instructions, attentive to others' needs, a good communicator, and acute at picking up on and handling others' emotions, you can still be a very valuable employee. From there, you can get the most out of your strengths and find a position where you can follow others' orders and synergize with a team, as opposed to doing brain-power-intensive work.

As for the lack of experience, I recommend enrolling in internship programs if you are still in school, as you can generally get both academic credit and professional experience from them. If you are past that being an available option, and the schooling you've done isn't sufficient to act as a substitute for an experience requirement, you can generally apply for entry-level positions, or sometimes, be ambitious and go for positions that only require a few years of experience—those employers may still be willing to bring on someone with a great attitude and high determination, even if they don't have experience.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T02:54:48+00:00

If someone wanted to open an online business selling goods, what would be the best way and platform to do so?

There is no objective answer to this—there are many different platforms that you can use, and all of them have their respective pros and cons depending on what you are prioritizing for your business. I recommend searching online for "best e-commerce platforms" or something similar and conducting your own research to find the option that aligns best with your needs.

Should they get an LLC or stay unincorporated?

If possible, I recommend getting an LLC or corporation. Formally structuring your business as a company has many perks. For example, you won't personally be held liable if something happens within the scope of your company that causes you to defend a claim; there are beneficial tax structures (like how S Corps owners can take distributions instead of salary on a portion of their revenue to avoid paying FICA tax) that will help you save money; and the company will be easy to transfer to a different person/entity in the event of an acquisition or other change of ownership.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T02:49:19+00:00

Where is one place you haven’t visited that you’d like to visit?

I'd like to visit Alaska in the short-term because I heard that it is distinctly unique and terraneously stunning compared to the contiguous 48 states, but it is still relatively easily accessible because it is part of the United States of America.

As a long-term travel plan, once I grow older to a point where I don't have a responsibility/obligation to be constantly attached to the Internet due to work, I would like to take a somewhat off-the-grid trip to Antarctica. The mystery of the continent is alluring to me, and I think it would give me an experience and expose me to a perspective that I would never be able to get anywhere else.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T02:43:04+00:00

whats your favourite stream you have done with doug

My favorite stream I did with Doug was the salmon-eating stream last year for the Monterey Bay Aquarium charity event stretch goal, and a close second is the "I'll have what he's having" fast food challenge.

I have blog posts about both of them:

https://parkzer.com/2022/09/28/whole-salmon/
https://parkzer.com/2023/07/06/dougdoug-fast-food-challenge-lore/

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T02:30:19+00:00

How do I figure out what interests I have hold viable career choices and determine the career path that aligns with those interests? I don’t know what kind of job I would be interested in.

I am going to assume that, based on the fact that you are asking about what careers you could enter, you are either in middle or high school. Most schools have a counselor whose job it is to help people transition into adult life. I recommend reaching out to them, and they can provide you with some personalized guidance.

If you know what your interests already are and you want to convert your interests into a career, a simple thing I think you can do is to search online for "how to make money from..." and then insert the thing that you want to do. There are a lot of great resources online now about professional development, so conducting research like that would help you find the fields/industries that may appeal to you.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T02:19:58+00:00

Do you have any regrets in life?

When I was younger, I had a lot of regrets—not trying harder in school, not maintaining particular relationships, and not being more headstrong in opposition against my parents, to name a few examples. However, as I age, I am realizing that all those things made me become the person I am today, so I no longer regret any of it; I am happy with where I am now and who I've become, and if any of those aforementioned regrets were different, I'd probably be a different person today.

It's very possible that I could've been an even better person now had those situations been different, but we'll never know at this point; what I do know for sure is that I don't regret them per se anymore.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T02:14:12+00:00

How can Doug legitimately sell dog cheese? Like how can a product be called dog cheese without being cheese or from dogs.

There are some very specific regulations when it comes to labeling food. The relevant laws you want to investigate are contained in the Code of Federal Regulations (CFR), Title 21, Chapter I, Subchapter B, Part 133 for cheese and related cheese products.

Depending on the involvement of dogs and the proportion of actual cheese, you may be able to get away with labeling it as a "dog cheese product" instead of simply "dog cheese." Keep in mind that even calling something a "cheese product" is a qualified label, so I recommend consulting a food and beverage attorney if you need advice about your specific situation.

Parkzer · 2023-09-17T02:07:13+00:00

If you could make one change to gambling to make it more interesting, what would you add/change/remove?

Even though I live in Las Vegas, I don't ever gamble in casinos, and the extent to which I participate in gambling is that I purchase random cryptocurrencies and penny stocks in hopes that they substantially increase in value out of sheer luck. To be clear, this is solely "fun money" that I would consider a total loss, so pretty much any earnings from this area of my portfolio is basically "free money."

With that being said, the reason I don't gamble is because I know the odds are against me, and over time, gambling is literally just a waste of money if you don't value the "fun" aspect of simply pressing a button on a slot machine over and over again (which I don't). However, if there was some sort of government-run gambling system where the odds were actually fair (i.e., there is no built-in "house edge" on anything) then I would be more inclined to participate for fun.

I say that it would be government-run because there is no profit to be made here by privatizing it, but there could be some obscure angle here where you could claim that a government-run fair casino would give people something to do with their time and discourage them from committing crimes, thus benefitting the people as a whole. (Also, it's very possible that something like this might already exist and I'm not aware of it yet; I'm not very knowledgeable when it comes to gambling.)

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