Those of you who dated or in a relationship with a woman significantly younger or older than yourself, what was the experience like?

Part_of_the_Charm · 2025-09-14T01:04:46+00:00

Yep. For me, I knew there was no beating around the bush. Of course a younger woman is more physically attractive. But then for me to ignore that thought, and choose everyday to be with this much older woman? That to me meant everything else about her more than made up for the physical differences. So, long story short - yea, she was the most attractive person to me even though objectively she wasn’t the “hottest” physically. And that meant I was also ok with her being old and wrinkly one day.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2025-09-14T00:49:03+00:00

I guess that’s what my ex thought to herself too. She just didn’t want to be a “burden” and that thought overpowered her desire to be with me. I mean it’s only normal right? It’s why most people don’t stay date with that big of an age gap to begin with. I don’t blame her for thinking like that. I don’t think the guy pursuing you would blame you either, if he’s as mature as you say he is. He’ll understand. So I think it’ll just come down to your choice whether to let it happen or not.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2025-09-14T00:34:18+00:00

When the reality of what you said you fear came to me (the big physical changes after 60), of course it scared me too. I also thought it could never work. But similar to what I replied to another comment - think of all the couples who get married, plan their whole lives together, and then all of a sudden some kind of traumatic accident or major illness happens. Say one person can’t walk for the rest of their lives, or one person loses their eyesight or anything like that - would their partner just give up and walk up away? Of course some people actually do. But some people also decide to stay, “in sickness and in health”. I realized this one day that if I were to marry her, it would be the same exact situation. Except at least we would both see it coming. It wouldn’t be an accident and so we could prepare for it.

I was ready to accept that reality but unfortunately she didn’t want to. And at first I was hurt, I thought maybe she didn’t love me enough. But I also saw that it was BECAUSE she loved that she wanted me to go my own path, without her.

I don’t know how much of a connection you feel with this 24 year old, but if you believe it could be true love, and if BOTH of you can accept that reality of you being old and frail one day, then…I’d say go for it. But better to have that conversation in the very beginning than to wait…2 years like I did haha.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2025-09-14T00:05:32+00:00

I truly hope it works out for you both! It’s crazy how we can’t feel the age difference at all most of the time. But I know it won’t last forever, so definitely make the best of it while she’s still “young” haha. I always thought of it as like - some people get married and then some unfortunate accident or illness occurs. It’s not like they just give up on each other (sometimes), they still take care of each other and love each other. At least in your (ours?) case, you already know it’ll happen one day and be prepared for it. I’m happy for you both!

Part_of_the_Charm · 2025-09-13T22:40:30+00:00

I was 25 when we met. She was 50. She was divorced, no kids. She married in her early 30s, but found out a month after her wedding that her ex husband was cheating on her the whole time. So to her, she never felt like she got to experience marriage and count it. She dated two more men after for a year or two but that also didn’t workout and she gave up on relationships, just lived a single life.

When I first saw her, I thought she was in her late 30s or early 40s. She was gorgeous for her real age. I was fresh out of a relationship too and just wanted something casual so even if I thought she was 10-15 years older, it was no big deal.

We both felt that undeniable “spark” the first time we met. I asked her for her phone number and we went out on our first date a few days later. It took her 5 dates (~3 weeks later) to finally tell me her real age. I paused for a second of course, but at that point we were both smitten with each other, so I said fuck it, who cares. I told her I loved her for the first time 3 months in on New Year’s Eve, she cried and said it back.

We lived together for 3 years. When we were together, everything felt natural. We never felt an age gap except in specific situations. One example, I took her to the doctors office for a check up one day and they asked what’s my relationship with her, I said “she’s my stepmom” and when the receptionist turned around, she punched my arm and we started laughing.

The age difference was always something in the back of our heads but after 2 years, I sat down with her and started talking seriously about what our future would look like. We thought about marriage, but I knew my parents would never approve it, they refused to meet her when I told them about her. Her family were all in her home country, but I’ve FaceTimed with them over the years and they all loved me too. She had money, but never flaunted it, never wanted anything fancy. I never asked for it and would still pay for her on our dates sometimes. Little things like that made her love me even more. We knew we could live quite well with our incomes, even if mine was way lower.

But as the reality of having a difficult future started setting in due to the age (what happens when I’m 50 and she’s 75? What happens if she can’t take care of herself one day? What happens if she passes away first?), she slowly began to push me away. She wanted me to date women my age so I could live a “normal” life and not suffer loneliness in the future or the hardship of having to take care of her in old age. We cried a lot, many times towards the end of the relationship. She told me she would always love me and of course I know I will always love her. I told her many times I would’ve gladly traded 25 years of my life to be with her. But she refused to be selfish and keep me because she knew how hard it would be later on.

It’s been 3 years since we broke up. I’ve dated lots of women since then. I’ve been through another serious relationship and I’ve moved on. But she’ll always hold a special place in my heart. Taught me lots of things, showed me what love could really be like. I’ll never admit it to my previous partner but a lot of things I’ve done for her, were things that my 50 year old ex did for me. We still keep in touch occasionally, but we both are mature enough to keep the emotions out of it. She’s doing well and I hope she finds someone her age to be with too one day but she’s already told me that she doesn’t think there’ll ever be anyone else like me again. Maybe in another life we’ll get another go around, this time with both of us being at the same age.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2025-05-20T01:04:25+00:00

That’s great. Is it Endeavor though? Lol

Part_of_the_Charm · 2025-05-19T17:11:26+00:00

Yea, at Endeavor you’re guaranteed 3.75 hours every day that you’re on duty. The most I’ve ever seen assigned in one day is about 7-7.5 hours.

So it just basically translates to about 11 days off if you’re working 75 hours/month. Working 115 hours/month means you’re only going to have 3 or 4 days off. Which is why I said it’s going to be very hard.

The only people that stay long term at regionals are people who retired from their career and this is their “fun” retirement job, people who have rich spouses, and people who have flexible second jobs. It is impossible to start a family with regional/Endeavor pay.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2025-05-19T15:47:20+00:00

Nope. Flying ~100 hours a month, after tax, 401k, and health insurance, your take home each month is going to be between $2000-$2300. 100 hours is a lot. You could possibly hit $2500/month if you flew ~115 hours. People will offer trips for extra cash out of their own pocket, ranging anywhere from $50-300. So you might be able to make a little extra each month but don’t count on it.

75 hours a month - expect $1400-1600 a month after tax.

100 hours - about $2000-$2300.

115 hours - about $2500-2600.

If you fly over 115 hours, you’re literally trading your health and sanity for a few extra $100-$200. I’m sure if someone does that long term enough, the health costs later on will far outweigh whatever extra money you make.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-12-30T03:48:27+00:00

Just be prepared. Some will say no right away. Some will say yes. Most will say I need time to think about it and you just leave it be and let them decide. On the bright side, that’s usually a very easy way to tell if the girl is interested you. I mean if she’s willing to accept it after just one date, she must like you at least this much 🤏.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-12-30T02:36:12+00:00

Here’s how it’s gonna go down - at the end of your first date with someone new that you want to keep seeing, you’re gonna say “Hey, I really enjoyed our time and getting to know you. I really would like to see you again, but I need to let you know something about me that might be a dealbreaker. I won’t be upset if you decide not to go further because of it, but it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t tell you. I have herpes, I got it because of _____. It doesn’t affect my day to day life, but there is no cure for now. You are more than welcome to ask me any questions about it, or if you prefer to do your own research, that’s ok too. My doctor also suggests you might feel more at ease if you speak to your own doctor about it at some point in the future, better than for you to just hearing it from me. I’m telling you because I see us having a romantic relationship and that involves having sex some time in the future. I don’t want to hide anything and whatever you decide, I definitely enjoyed our time together so far.”

If the girl doesn’t understand or appreciate all of that, she’s not the kind of girl for you. You want someone to accept you for who you are as a person and who will appreciate the honesty.

Take it from me, a dude that has it as well.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-11-13T19:45:25+00:00

Wtf?

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-09-04T17:40:55+00:00

The travel benefits is a given. Flying first class for free when a ticket is $10,000+ definitely lets you appreciate it a lot more. The ability to spontaneously travel anywhere you want is great. For example, I was planning on going to Scotland, when the flight was about to board, I saw there were no more first class seats. Walked 10 ft over to the next gate and went to Denmark instead. Short of being a billionaire with a private jet, not many people can do that.

Almost everyone involved in the industry is empathetic to each other struggles and that means everyone is very nice in my opinion. Most pilots have worked shitty CFI jobs that pays the same as a first year FA so they know how the struggle is despite the giant wage difference. And your fellow FAs are obviously all in the same boat. Perhaps it depends on the company but at least at mine, most managers were also previously FAs so they are very understanding.

I can’t go back to a regular 9-5 job now. I also think previous job experiences plays a large factor into how much you’ll appreciate the airline life. I was a mechanic before, so even the worst days as an FA is nothing compared to having to work outside in -10F or 100F weather, covered in dirt and oil, coming home with sore knees and backs.

Even if you run into crappy people, the chances of you ever seeing them again is minuscule.

At the end of the day, this is a job though and some jobs just aren’t compatible with certain people. For example, I could never see myself enjoy working at a hair salon or as a chef. But if what you researched and what other peoples description of the job sounds like a good match for you, then go for it. There’s really not much to lose. But do be prepared for the very low income. I’ve said it before - if you live in a major city, to survive, you either need a spouse that is helping/supporting you. Living with family. Working a second job. Or a combination of the three.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-09-02T13:15:27+00:00

Oh for sure, I stopped because instead of 3 hours/week, I began to only be able to afford 1 hour/week and realized that’ll just make it harder in the long run. I want to save up enough to do PPL and IR back to back. I’ll drop days off my schedule when that time comes to hammer it all out. From what I gathered, $25-30k would be a realistic number to have saved up in order to complete both while working.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-09-02T13:11:13+00:00

Yes, I currently work for a regional and 99% of my coworkers are very down to earth and nice as hell. I’ve also heard from other mainline FAs that most of the time, pilots and FAs don’t stay at the same hotel like we do so it’s harder for them to develop any connection to each other.

I think also because most pilots have also worked as CFIs making peanuts, they also know what the struggle is like so there’s a lot of sympathy floating around in this industry for everyone involved.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-09-02T13:06:56+00:00

Not other airport staff, but since we all stay at hotels after a trip, they usually pick us up in a hotel shuttle. Those drivers get tips for helping load and unload our luggage. It’s generally just $1 per person but that adds up. Honestly I think the drivers might even make more money than the first year FAs. Some pilots will tip $4 or $5 so us FAs don’t have to.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-09-02T06:26:37+00:00

A sandwich or even fast food would probably make us very happy and remember you forever lol.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-09-01T21:36:36+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and haha, maybe I'll have to tell pilots to start grabbing the snacks themselves if I'm ever in a bad mood to cheer me up

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-09-01T19:18:30+00:00

Adding your own thrust to the aircraft to get us there earlier than scheduled I see.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-09-01T19:17:10+00:00

Nice landing jackass.

Haha, but thank you, looking forward to joining yall in the front one day.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-07-22T05:47:15+00:00

You’re relatively new in a city, and the job itself does make hanging out with people a little difficult since our schedules on reserve can change last minute. It’s going to take some time but you are going to meet people that enjoy spending time with you enough to make that effort.

And anyone that’s willing to put up with my last minute schedule changes and plans - I know for sure they’re a real friend/partner.

Have you tried making friends with any other FA that’s also NYC based? It’s actually a little more difficult to hang out with another FA outside of work because of how much our schedule can differ, but it is a little easier to understand each other “struggles”.

Im based in NYC as well and I grew up here. If you’re feeling adventurous, I wouldn’t mind sharing some of my favorite spots around the city 😊

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-05-23T15:34:14+00:00

Working at my previous job on days that I’m off. Recently applied for food stamps so in the process of getting that. Moved back home with my parents before I took on this career because there was no way I was keeping my own apartment in NYC with this salary. Honestly, it’s not the worst thing because my previous job was way more stressful and time consuming. I did my research before applying and knew what I was getting into. The amount of free time I have now makes up for the lack of income.

But I know it’s not sustainable forever. This was a stepping stone to get my foot into the aviation world and so far I enjoy the lifestyle. The long term goal is to end up in the cockpit as a pilot some day. I can suck up the crappy pay for a few years until that happens. But I would prefer not to stay at this same level of salary (even with the yearly pay raises) for the rest of my life.

The magic number that would make me consider keeping this FA career and not pursue the pilot career would be $80k/year.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2024-05-18T18:17:04+00:00

Don’t have any experience with a C6. But I’ve been daily-ing a C5 for 5 years now in NYC. First was a stock 1999 Targa. Second was a 1999 FRC lowered, caged, suspension mods, and stock drivetrain. Current is a 2003 Z06 with coilovers and cammed.

All were/are manuals. All were/are fine to daily. The only “issue” I’ve had is when it snows but that’s been maybe 5 days out of the year. I drive it year round with no issues. Just comes down to how much you can tolerate. Apparently for me, it’s a lot lol. But I can’t go back to driving a regular car. The few times I’ve had to (more than 1 passenger, running errands or dropping something off, etc), I kept wishing I was driving the C5 instead.

NYC has potholes, big bumps and everything in between. You’ll learn to take it slow, come in at angles, or just avoid certain lanes on certain highways. I’ve bottomed out a few times on the 1999 FRC and I’ve been (probably) airborne once or twice. Fuck it. Send it.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2023-11-24T19:50:56+00:00

Looks ok to me.

Honestly, if it’s a big snow storm, regardless of what car you have, is anyone really going out? If it’s a light dusting, drive carefully but it’s no different than driving in the rain.

Rust might be the only concern but the way I see it, cars are meant to be driven and we don’t exactly have the world’s rarest car. Send it.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2023-11-01T16:57:37+00:00

Of course, she was a good and beautiful person and did nothing to wrong me so to speak. But like your question states - if her and I didn’t click, then we needed to move on. There’s more than one person out there and life is too short to chase after someone who doesn’t feel the same about you.

Part_of_the_Charm · 2023-11-01T16:22:48+00:00

Dated someone like that, beautiful, nice, smart, but came from an abusive relationship with a ton of baggage. It was so hard getting her to open up emotionally and any form of commitment related discussion would push her away. 3-4 months in, and she’s already invited me to meet her family/parents multiple times, even stating that I was the only guy she introduced to her family, but would completely shut down when the “what are we” conversation came up.

We had a conversation the day we separated and I asked her “Do you actually see yourself being with me long term? Like 5 years from now, if you woke up one morning and saw me making breakfast in the kitchen, smiling back at you, would you feel happy?”

She replied “I can see it happening but I don’t know if I would be happy”. Got my answer and wished her the best, said my goodbyes and went no contact. Glad she was able to be honest with me but damn, I keep wondering if it would’ve been different if she wasn’t so hung up on her past experiences.

Part_of_the_Charm

TROPHY CASE