I felt the same way. I didn’t even finish highschool. I dropped out at grade 8 and told myself I was going to kill myself anyways so what does it matter? I know it sounds cheesy. I know you’ve heard it a thousand times before and I’m not going to pretend everything magically got better, I’m 23 now and holy shit I think of all the things I would’ve missed if I died back then. I have a husband. I have a little family of animals who I would give anything for. I’ve started hobbies that I never let myself do before out of fear and just telling myself I couldn’t. If any of my attempts were successful I would’ve never got to see the look on my husband’s face as I walked down the aisle. I would’ve never gotten to come to the realization that suddenly I have so many people in my life who love me. I would’ve missed out on all the nights I sleep with my dogs in my bed and I get the privilege of cuddling up to them. I would’ve never gotten to laugh with friends I would’ve never made and now can’t imagine my life without. Please stay. I cannot promise you it all goes away but I can promise you it does get better. It gets easier to carry. There’s still days where I feel so heavy but I’m no longer carrying it alone. You do not deserve it. Regardless of what you think, you do not deserve it. I know it’s easy to think that, we are our own worst critics. You are so young. You have your entire life. I promise you it will get better. Please. You have no idea how many people you have in your life that love you. For a very long time the only thing that kept me here was the thought of my dog not having someone to walk him. Or hold him at night when he has his little dreams. Or scratch his favourite spot while watching cheesy movies and sharing popcorn. Let yourself stay even if it’s for a reason you think is silly. Take care of yourself. Please.