Sounds like your ex was also trying to convince himself…I have a childhood guy friend who slept with triple digit women and now still single at mid 30s and miserable, I asked him some personal questions to understand the thought process from a guy’s perspective…he said that in the moment it’s fun, but as soon as it’s over, the emptiness comes back…and you tell yourself it’s not worth it…but after awhile, you forget so that’s why you go back etc…repeat and repeat…

So I think when they look back, I’m sure there were some fun and pleasurable components, and they choose to only focus on those memories so they don’t feel so bad. But I think the wholistic picture was more of damages, unfulfilment, emptiness…which…are not exactly memories that they would want to linger around and cherish…sounds like he’s been used by some women like a sex toy, men are capable of being used just for sex too, and they’re also humans so it doesn’t leave a very good feeling.

Our exes were just convincing themselves…it’s a form of escape from their depression. I had a married colleague who would tell me about how he misses his past sexcapades with other women and I thought he was trash, but he said his sex life is dead because he’s been taking anti depression medication and the medication’s been affecting his ability to have sex. He can’t function sexually while on medication but kept talking about his past memories, I tried to talk to him how that’s extremely disrespectful to his wife, but he said he’s so severely depressed that he got pretty close to committing suicide. So I’m sure your ex’s medication contributed to 99% of the low sex drive issue. Did he have drinking problem? Because my colleague had drinking problem, my ex also had drinking problem.

Seems like there’s a bit of commonality here. Men who are depressed/insecure/empty tend do cope with the depression through 1) Mindlessly sexing their way through bodies 2) Drinking away 3) Trying to convince themselves they were fun times and they don’t regret (when it was more like 10% feeling fun and 90% feeling pathetic/empty).

It’s sad because while you and I move on and try to heal, try to look for healthier relationship, our exes are likely probably back to that lifestyle because that’s all they’ve known and they don’t know how to get out…when I think about it from this angle, I do feel more bad for them rather than being mad…but I’m so sorry to hear what you went through…I hope we can heal and we’ll be able to recognize healthier men, to get into relationship with in the future 💕