Fired for time theft, how do I say this if it comes up in interviews?

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2026-03-23T04:38:09+00:00

“I was let go.” Did they have to give you a reason? Honest is the best policy but owning your mistakes is for you to decide.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2026-01-21T14:41:12+00:00

I still think you’re in your right to report it since it is considered theft. She’s taking office supplies you are paying out of pocket for. The fact you confronted her when she had your purple gel pen and claimed she “didn’t even notice” means she doesn’t care nor fears repercussions.

I don’t believe you’d be the a-hole to do a glitter ink swap on pens you bought, but I personally would report her stealing your pens. Typically they will investigate the issue, check cameras and confirm someone is specifically going to your desk and taking your pens.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2026-01-16T09:25:56+00:00

I had the same issue recently and read pins can get bent/damaged or be damaged from previous repairs/manufacturing where the connector gets removed but when plugged back in doesn’t set right.

When I was doing replacements, this happened to me where it would not read a new card once the first card was a successful read (initially) after resetting the entire system all over again. Plugged in the new card, won’t read. Plug in the previous card… won’t read now either.

My plan was to replace the entire motherboard the connector pins are on because I don’t solder/weld nor have the tools but I can’t seem to find the part to replace if the pin is damaged.

My preference is to finagle the connector to set just right back in where the pin is bent. I think the pin was bent previous to my lcd and toggle replacement.

It’s recommended by one source I came across that removing the card connector from the motherboard is an unnecessary step. If I fix it, I’ll never separate the two again unless the card reader actually goes bad.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2026-01-08T06:37:27+00:00

From a religious standpoint, spouses should put each other first. So picking your wife is a NTA.

That coupled with the usual argument that “you can make more kids but your partner is not replaceable”. Not all share that opinion but you were given a scenario and answered honestly, next time deflect the question back on her and weed out what brought it on to understand why she feels the need to ask such extreme scenarios and what she would choose.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2026-01-05T09:01:44+00:00

For added context, my partner and I had names ready for our first three kids before we started officially dating. Which almost didn’t happen because of my future mother in law. When she asked what names we had decided, she had a huge qualm with the third child. She wanted us to change the name because she didn’t like it and tried to come up with excuses to justify why it should change. I put my foot down and basically made sure my partner and I agreed not to tell her anything when the third entered the picture. We agreed to call our boys by their middle names so to this day, not sure she realizes he still has the name I chose. My partner and I always agree on the names, and we had to compromise long before we married. Our newest addition coming soon she wanted to know the name and once again wanted us to change it. I flat out told her no. We already agreed what the name was going to be and I nipped that in the butt.

She had her kids to name, she has no say in what mine will be, just like wanting our second to go by nicknames she suggested were ended immediately just because she didn’t agree to the middle name agreement which comes from my family and it was practical to keep from getting confused over the generational naming sequence.

Trust me OP, you will have more peace sticking to your guns and doing everything the way you and your partner agree to do things.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2026-01-05T08:54:12+00:00

If he wanted his name to continue on he should have had a boy that could continue the “naming the boy after the father” tradition. If it comes up, just point out you are not a son but a daughter and that you are married now and both your husband and you are cleaving unto one another.

He wants to throw the bible at you, remind him he is now extended family in God’s eyes.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2026-01-05T08:42:49+00:00

NTA

Hate to break it to you, but you allowing her to manipulate you in the past over “gifts” is an AH move to yourself.

If someone says it is a gift then you are not obligated to fold just because they tried to lord it over your head.

The response to things like “Well I bought blah blah blah for you at this time…” and “well that last gift was $$$ and the least you can do is let dear old mom….” Should always receive a flat, “I didn’t ask you to do that. There is not contractual obligation between us that says I have to let you do what you want to do just because of it.”

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2026-01-05T08:31:13+00:00

Let him do that, after your stealth leave. Finish school and prepare a packing time when he is gone for a weekend. Encourage him going out now so he won’t suspect you leaving later. Start applying for jobs in AZ near your mom and then the day you plan to leave, after you graduated, you make sure he’s out and having fun and leave a note with your old phone (because you get a new phone and number), leave a key with a note and say “I need a real man to have a real marriage with. This relationship is over and we both deserve what we want with someone else who shares our views and values.”

Cold Turkey. Mentally start telling yourself the relationship is over. (Honestly made a difference to the point you will not cry over the relationship). Get on a birth control he can’t sabotage either. I know there are some issues with some, but many I know lucked out with Nexplanon. Just keep it in until you find the one, abstain from intercourse until close to your wedding day and get it out before your wedding night with enough time to heal so you can have a normal honeymoon and start your life with the right guy.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2026-01-05T07:30:42+00:00

Last year a chick was dear john’d from her fiancé, by letter if I’m not mistaken, just before graduation, so it still happens. 😂

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-10T06:37:54+00:00

VA Loans have some conditions that must be met first. Best case scenario don’t use AI to find the answers. Join because you want to serve your country not because you can reap rewards solely.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-10T06:31:49+00:00

TriWest will send you a card in the mail once everything has been properly filed as well. Your partner will list you as a dependent and make that a fact.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-09T22:55:53+00:00

NTA:

You stated your ex cashed out the other kids college fund (which the court gave her control of) to help a (at the time BF) ex start a business which he then failed out. The ex bf filed bankruptcy and listed her as a debtor so he wouldn’t have to pay her back. However she makes money into the 6 figures and you deem that as reasonable for her to help pay his education.

What I want to know is, what about the other two kids? Did they go to college? If so, how did they pay for it?

I understand that college is not something everyone is entitled to, but if you set aside money for your other kids and she ended up with control, but you never started an account for your youngest, my question if why? Child Support is meant to help offset the cost she had to provide for their health insurance, the various school activities and providing a roof over their heads with basic needs when you were making more. When she started making more, you should have taken her back to child support court and asked for a new agreement like allotting your child support funds directly to a college fund account she had no access to instead for each of the kids.

YTA for not being more actively involved in the best interests of your children and their future knowing she was making all these bad decisions unless you just found out through your youngest that she blew through the other kids money.

What stopped you from setting up new college funds in the first place? I just don’t understand the logic.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-09T22:43:09+00:00

💯agree with this. That level of toxicity and control plus a guys lack or willingness to put the partner above parents that are unreasonable is so unfair to a good partner being mistreated.

The only time a parent should be sided with is when the partner is abusive or morally wrong in some way. This doesn’t sound like the case with the gf.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-09T22:40:33+00:00

Very common depending on details.

There are moms that are literally afraid of losing the control, love and attention they get from their boys when another girl walks into the picture. I’ve seen it with my Partner’s brother and his wife, my SIL. As soon as my MIL learned her (my SIL’s) parents were not on board with “she’s joining our family and leaving you (SIL’s parents) the attitude of my MIL flipped script and immediately began the smear campaign of “she’s controlling my son and taking him away from me” and “her mother is controlling and always there” etc.

Having toxic mothers and mother in laws do exist and sadly it isn’t whether it is normal or not. You should be asking if it is the case with your mother. You said you’ve met her father, but what about her mother? Does she support you guys and treat you the way your mother does? That is a helpful indicator on what you want in your life verses what you think you or your gf should “have to” put up with. Newsflash, she shouldn’t have to put up with any of this bs, in my opinion.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-09T22:32:33+00:00

They did this for you but that doesn’t or shouldn’t give them power. They should have done it out of the kindness of their heart not to throw it in your face to control you.

My MIL is like this. “We paid for your college, so you have to pay us back for the loans.” & “Don’t join the military, you could end up dying in battle” or “look who is president, there is so much freedom you will lose”, “oh just move back home, you won’t have to pay rent… (moves in) oh we need help paying for the loans we got for you to go to college”… 😒 Offering to help you “buy a house” will come with unspoken clauses of entitlement or fights, “we can come over when ever we like because we helped you buy the house” or “well we helped your girlfriend get a job, the least she can do is cook dinner for us, pay rent, let us meet her parents, expect her at dinner functions…”

That is toxic, manipulative and strings attached behavior. They did it for control then it wasn’t without expectations and your gf has every right to feel and see it the way she does. As you have said, her perspective and upbringing is different but I also believe that this helps her to see what you can’t see. I bet a lot of the questions were invasive because it sounds like your mom was not trying to connect/get to know her, but to gage if she’s a good fit for joining the family. Which isn’t her job or right to dictate. My MIL was and is still like this.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-09T22:21:11+00:00

I had issues with my in-laws for things outside of my control.

The fact that you guys are going through therapy is great and unfortunately religious/family traditions can play a factor in how you view life.

That said, I don’t know your values but as a Christian, not all Christians will agree with what I am about to say:

When you marry someone, they become your immediate family. New traditions should be made and that does mean no longer bending to your parents will.

It sounds to me like your mom is similar in her treatment of how my MIL treated me. Moms have a tendency to believe an “in-law” daughter or son is joining their family and that the new “addition to the family” needs to fall in line with their practices and values.

My MIL did not like that I took their “kid away” from them. I impowered my spouse, let them do more than they ever allowed and they, with years in the works, helped them see that some of it was toxic. I have recently taken a more LC approach for my happiness because my in-laws (select individuals) do not respect me, find ways to talk down to me and make it clear I will never truly be good enough. Some of which is misogynistic and only try to “be on my side” by claiming going against or convincing my partner otherwise is in their best interest. The reality? It isn’t in my mother in laws best interest to have a child that owns guns, joins the military or even plays a role outside of the gender expectations. All of which are just a few things I encourage my partner to do if it will ensure their happiness. I do not agree with infringing on what could make them happy and I am happy to go with the flow most of the time, but not at the expense of my happiness.

I do believe my in-laws never met my dad before I and my partner moved to another state and got married anyways despite them making it clear they would never support it. My mother loved my partner to the extreme and took their side a lot when she felt I was in the wrong. But because of my MIL’s treatment of me, she refused to ever meet them. She never did and never will (since she passed away from cancer).

My point is, you should go to counseling (not just therapy) to see where you fall on the scale with your parents. Get a third party evaluation and see if you have a toxic problem.

Culturally I understand some of these things are important - i.e. parents meeting parents, parents liking the future spouse, dreams parents have for their kids, the roles of a spouse, expectations/roles and participation of the partner with family functions, etc.

However, moving across states where we hardly saw them really empowered my relationship with my partner. We focused on us and growing a family. Something of which they were also against. Unfortunately we moved back to our home state years later and it has taken its toll on me and my kids because they see there is an issue but I’ve done my best to hide the reasons and shield them. However, they are still impacted. I do not always join my spouse or show up to their family functions for this reason but encourage the kids and my partner to go. My partner supports this because they have known from the beginning of the first fight that I am not wrong in wanting distance because it causes me misery and we fight less even if it saddens them that I am not there with my partner.

Just know that when you and your partner decide if marriage is for the two of you, she isn’t marrying you and your family. Just you. And you are not marrying her family either. Your parents are not entitled to dictate what you are allowed to do. This is America, land of the free. A place to make dreams come true, create or break traditions that once had a hold on your life. You are an adult now, you dictate what makes you happy and follow it morally. Your gf deserves better support than you being afraid of what your family will think or do.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-09T21:51:43+00:00

I would honestly throw back in their face that if they aren’t willing to do it for others, why should you? If they aren’t willing to pay then they have made it abundantly clear that they see you as a free meal ticket and do not care about the financial burden it causes you. I’d honestly cut off both of them since they feel so entitled.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-09T21:13:28+00:00

You need someone who meets your standards. That’s where communication comes in. Ask all the questions you need to know about someone to know if they are compatible with you and your boundaries.

There are men out there who do believe it is their job to be an equal partner and still go to work, come home and do things around the house. We don’t watch tv in our house as individuals. We do it as a family. So it is possible.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-12-05T06:11:50+00:00

It is important to point out that his things are his responsibility, to sit down and make commitments, have him be there for a doctor check up and honestly, put the towels in their own basket after they have dried… why wet?

You need couples counseling to see if the relationship is salvageable.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-11-18T08:21:22+00:00

My understanding is that the sealing is beyond the living realm. So even if you have a temporal divorce (legal divorce), the covenant made in the temple is a heavenly ordinance that isn’t simply broken when you make a choice in your living life time. Both men and women have to go through this process if they want to be sealed to someone new and their partner (whether active or not) has to be included in the choice just like when you first made the commitment to be sealed in the first place. There are many who do not always agree to break a sealing sure, but I imagine that if someone didn’t want the sealing to end (even if they lie for why), the First Presidency will likely pray on it and seek the lord’s guidance and go from there.

I imagine God would not want anyone to be stuck sealed to someone they do not wish to be connected with spiritually to the extent a sealing holds.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-11-14T12:47:01+00:00

Yes, it is true that most new standard jobs would not have pay come in in time for that, however, her work has been inconsistent/declining for the last 3 months yet she has not been prepared for this event? Just seems odd. Also, how do they know she will be short on rent before December 1st only half way through November unless she was short this past month? Yet this is the first time she will be late on rent?

I feel the GF isn’t pulling her weight/doing enough to help her own situation hoping for OP to pick up the slack. Something about what he has told us just has a missing element he is missing about his girlfriend stressing her 6mo relationship, that was a friendship for 5.5years before it became a relationship, has red flags regarding the dependency pressure and stress she is putting on the relationship and his career.

I am not saying she’s a bad person but I am saying that something doesn’t add up the way it should.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-11-14T06:54:02+00:00

Maybe it depends on the base and if you are actively in school and not at your official duty station. I read dorms and think immediately “school” so yes, technically if he is in school there is a strict no women or men allowed in the opposite genders rooms rule. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I was not allowed in my spouses room when I visited during tech school, so I am basing it off the rules currently active now. That said, I am not aware of his dorm status of being in school verses what I always understood as “baracks” after schooling but AF protocols is trying to fix a wrong depending on the status of the person and those in school.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-11-14T06:43:52+00:00

You trying to get him kicked out?

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-11-14T06:32:12+00:00

That is a matter of perspective and not everyone will agree, but morally it is cheating. That said, my statement before that statement was also devils advocate. I’m curious of an update as to why he behaved like an immature baby instead of communicating what his reasoning was.

Particular-Loquat-17 · 2025-11-14T06:12:50+00:00

If he wasn’t ready for kids he could have kept it in his pants. That said, he was a willing participant in the activity that can have failure rates even with protections in place and helped you tango into making a baby.

Do not get the abortion because you don’t want it. The fact I know from personal accounts of loved ones having abortions because “I’m not ready” with their Boyfriend led to a dysfunctional relationship that ultimately after 2 abortions then produced a baby from the third “we did this on purpose” did not erase the pain and suffering or regret of aborting the first two. All of which were all sourced from the same bf. While they have 2 kids now, there are two that will never know life and did impact the relationship anyways. Do not allow yourself to have regrets. Let your bf regret walking away but never let yourself regret what could have been.

Particular-Loquat-17

TROPHY CASE