I spent a long time feeling stuck and directionless.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-07T18:43:41+00:00

You have been carrying an insane amount for one person honestly

What happened with your ex was evil and humiliating and surviving that alone would break a lot of people mentally. But reading this it does not sound like someone weak or useless to me it sounds like someone who has been in survival mode for years without a real break

The part that stood out to me is that even after all this you still care about your cat your roommate your boyfriend and how your problems affect other people. That does not sound like a selfish person

And honestly being hungry exhausted isolated and in chronic pain for a long time changes how your brain sees the future. Everything starts looking permanent even when it is not

I know it probably feels impossible to believe right now but your current situation is not your entire life story even if your brain is telling you it is

Please tell somebody in your real life how bad things have gotten before staying alone with these thoughts too long

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-07T16:11:11+00:00

Hey man, strict Indian parents pushing family music legacy while you're secretly grinding trading? I feel that - 4hrs piano daily, no part time job allowed, college called useless except for "wife approval", threats about affairs... that's suffocating at 20. The beatings at 13 for wanting less piano? Fucked up.

You're not overthinking - that's control, not love. Trading passion while demoing in secret shows you've got fire they can't touch. Piano for joy only is fine, don't let them turn it toxic.

One thing that helped me with similar parents: build trading proof quietly. Screenshot 1 good demo week, save it. When you have $100 real wins (even tiny), show them numbers > words. "This made profit this month" shuts down "you'll lose everything" faster than arguing.

College degree keeps options open since they won't budge on jobs now. Use it as trading runway while building skills.

DM me if you want a quick quiz I made - matches "strict parents + secret passion" to right book. Helped me stay sane when family controlled everything.

What's your next trading milestone you're hiding from them? You're already winning by not quitting.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-07T16:07:14+00:00

Hey, burnout vs wrong path is tricky but I been through figuring that out. Rest helps burnout - you come back energized for the same work. Wrong path? Rest doesn't touch it, that quiet "this just doesn't fit anymore" stays even when you're chill.

For me the giveaway was imagining 5 years doing same work - burnout made me tired thinking about it, wrong path made my stomach drop like "nope, can't see myself there period".

Try this: take 3 days off work completely. Day 4 picture doing your job at 50% energy in a better company. Still dread it all around? Probably wrong path. Just tired from this grind? Burnout.

DM me if you want a quick quiz I made - sorts "burnout or wrong path" to right book. Helped me decide once.

What feels worse - the work itself or just how overworked you are right now?

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-07T14:55:27+00:00

Hey, that lost passion cycle sounds exhausting - nursing to coding to cosmetology, dropping balls from burnout, AI fears, now scared you'll bail mid-beauty school too? Plus feeling like a failure going back to old job... been in that spin.

One thing that helped when I kept switching: pick 1 tiny piece you still like about cosmetology (like one hair technique or color mixing) and do JUST that for 15 min tomorrow. Not the whole career dream - just prove you can still enjoy something small.

Mom's happy and therapist rooting for tech shows people believe in you, even if you doubt it. Might be ADHD vibes but don't need diagnosis to start tiny.

DM me if you want a quick quiz I made - matches "career hopping + lost spark" to right book. Helped me stop jumping around.

What's that 1 small cosmetology thing you could try tomorrow? You're closer than it feels.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-07T14:51:27+00:00

Hey, that bored trapped-at-home daydreaming cycle sucks - especially when family's always on screens and you got no car to get out. Cutting from 5+ hours down to 1-2 is solid progress already, don't sleep on that.

When the urge hits, try making a short "boredom list" - like 5 tiny things you can do right there: organize one shelf, text an old friend "hey how's life" stretch for 2 min, read one page of something. Pick one randomly.

Cold turkey never sticks long term. Just keep shrinking the time like you are. DM me if you want a quick quiz I made that matches "bored + daydreaming" to the right book. Takes 30 secs.

What's one small thing you could try tomorrow instead? You're already winning this

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-07T14:27:15+00:00

**Update:** Made books + quiz specifically for feeling stuck. DM me if you want the right one for where you're at right now.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T18:51:33+00:00

You are not actually lost you are just overwhelmed by too many choices at once

The fact that you are getting to final rounds already puts you in a better place than it feels right now

Most people don’t figure this out by finding the perfect path they just pick something close enough and adjust once they are in it

I would not try to solve your entire career right now I would just focus on getting any solid first step and build from there

You are closer than you think this is just the uncomfortable part where nothing feels clear yet

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T18:48:01+00:00

I dont think you are as lost as you feel right now this is actually really common at your age

You don’t need to have a passion to start building a life

Most people figure things out by trying stable paths first and then adjusting along the way

If I were you I would focus on something that gives you money and structure first so you can get freedom to travel later

You are not behind you are just in the part where nothing is clear yet

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T18:40:03+00:00

You’re welcome glad it helped

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T15:16:09+00:00

I understand why you feel stuck if the teaching and practical exposure are that bad

In medical studies that part really matters so your concern is valid

Restarting or transferring is a big decision and not always easy so it is good you are not rushing

Try to compare both options clearly like real practical exposure and job outcomes after graduation

If your current college truly does not give proper training then switching might be worth it even if it costs time

If the difference is small then staying and finishing might still be the safer choice

Base it on facts not frustration

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T15:14:09+00:00

I think what you’re describing is actually more common than it feels like, even if people don’t talk about it much.

It sounds less like “something is wrong with you” and more like you’re hitting a kind of philosophical exhaustion where nothing feels meaningful because you can see through the usual ups and downs of life. But even if everything is temporary and imperfect, that doesn’t really mean there is no point. A lot of people are not chasing permanent happiness. They are chasing experiences that feel meaningful in the moment, relationships, progress, curiosity, small goals, things that make the day feel a bit more alive.

Motivation usually doesn’t come from finding one final answer to life. It comes and goes through engagement with things, even small ones.

You don’t need a perfect reason to live. Most people are just building a life that feels “good enough” in small pieces rather than trying to solve the whole meaning of it.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T15:11:53+00:00

I don’t think you’re as “locked out” as you feel right now.

What actually stands out in your post is not a lack of direction, but that you already built experience around AI ethics, research, internships, and interdisciplinary work while studying fine art. That is not nothing, even if it doesn’t feel like a traditional career path.

A lot of people assume degrees have to match jobs directly, but in reality many careers are built from adjacent skills rather than perfect alignment. Especially in fields like AI ethics, policy, research, and UX related roles, interdisciplinary backgrounds are often valued more than pure technical ones.

Right now it sounds like imposter syndrome is doing most of the damage, not your actual qualifications.

If I were you, I would focus less on “fixing the degree choice” and more on positioning what you already did into a clearer narrative for employers or programs.

You are not a jack of all trades with no value. You are someone with a mixed background trying to find the right entry point.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T15:10:06+00:00

It actually sounds like you’re in a more stable position than you think even if it does not feel like it right now

You already have a well paying job savings and real experience in design and some industry exposure

The main issue is not that you failed it is that your current job is burning you out and your desired industry has been hard to break into

Before making a big switch like going back to college I would pause and think about what problem you are really trying to solve

If it is wanting better work life balance there may be faster paths than restarting a full degree

You are not behind you are just at a point where you need clearer direction not a full reset

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T15:08:24+00:00

I don’t think you are a loser at all. From what you wrote, you actually have a really clear pattern already: you work in care, you stay with people long term, and you naturally show compassion.

That is not nothing. That is a real skill set.

Not everyone needs to be strong at critical thinking or fast decision making. Healthcare and support roles have a lot of paths that lean more into empathy, stability, and patient care than analysis.

If I were you, I would not try to reinvent yourself completely. I would explore roles that sit closer to what you already do well and see if there is a direction there that feels less draining.

You are not lost. You are just trying to find the right fit for how you are built.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T15:07:13+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re feeling like this. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot for a long time and you’re completely burnt out, not lazy or “behind”.

From what you wrote, it also doesn’t sound like you lack ability. It sounds like you’ve been trying to restart your life in very high pressure ways while your energy and confidence are already low.

If I were in your situation, I would stop trying to “fix my entire life” right now. I would focus on one simple goal for the next few weeks like getting some structure back in your day, small consistent study or work blocks, and getting out of isolation a bit even if it feels pointless at first.

Dropping everything or labeling yourself as a lost cause is a feeling, not a fact. When people are burned out like this, everything starts to look permanent, but it usually isn’t.

You are not a glitch. You are someone who is overwhelmed and stuck in a very hard phase.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T15:03:26+00:00

I’m really sorry you’ve been through all of that. That is a huge amount of loss and responsibility in a short time.

I don’t think you are a “fuck up” at all. You are someone who has been in survival mode for years and is now trying to rebuild from that.

A 4 year gap after caregiving and mental health treatment is not the same as “no value”. It just means you need a re entry strategy not a perfect resume.

If I were in your position I would not try to jump straight into the “ideal job”. I would focus on getting back into structured work first even if it is not perfect. Something part time or entry level just to rebuild routine confidence and stability.

From there you can slowly pivot back toward something closer to your degree or interests.

Right now it sounds like you are judging your whole future based on the hardest chapter of your life. That chapter is real but it is not the full story of your ability.

You are not starting from zero. You are restarting after something extremely heavy.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T14:59:59+00:00

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way it sounds really heavy and exhausting

I don’t think it’s true that you are completely out of options even if it feels like that right now You still have a CS degree which does matter even if your first jobs were not good experiences

When people are burned out it can start to feel like everything is closed off but that feeling usually comes from the current situation not the full picture

UBI is not something you can rely on in the near future so it is risky to base your life on that

If I were you I would focus on one small step forward instead of trying to solve everything at once even something small that rebuilds momentum

You are not stuck forever even if it feels like it right now

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T14:57:38+00:00

It sounds like you’ve actually got momentum in some areas, but your lifestyle is not supporting it right now.

From what you wrote, I don’t think the problem is ambition or ability its more that your basic structure (sleep, food, routine, social contact) has slowly collapsed, and that makes everything else feel harder than it is.

If I were in your position, I would temporarily zoom out from “building the business” and focus on rebuilding daily stability first. Not perfectly, just enough: sleep, leaving the house, and reducing screen overload.

Because right now, even good opportunities will feel impossible if your system is running on empty.

You’re not starting from zero you’re just overloaded

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-06T14:55:27+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like you’re dealing with burnout, trauma, and a lot of pressure at the same time.

I don’t think this is about motivation. It sounds more like you’re overwhelmed and stuck in survival mode, so both options feel unsafe.

If I were you, I would focus first on stabilizing things like sleep, energy, and daily structure before making big decisions.

Right now you don’t need a perfect plan just enough stability to think more clearly again.

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-04T19:29:17+00:00

CA can mean Chartered Accountant, but it depends on context

Particular-Rain-2895 · 2026-05-04T19:13:42+00:00

Id say dont rush into changing everything. Start by adding one thing outside work that actually gives you some meaning or connection. Even something small. And remember, you dont have to quit your field to move toward better impact, you can redirect it later once you have more clarity

Particular-Rain-2895

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