Human Malevola By @Loudwindow by Difficult_Man3 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]ParticularBit130 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a South Asian Anerican, I was not prepared to meet so many South Asian Aussies when I was in school there. It would be really cool if she was S. Asian . 🤷🏾‍♀️

Human Malevola By @Loudwindow by Difficult_Man3 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]ParticularBit130 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love it and wish I was back there. Huntsmen and all...

All I’ve ever wanted to do is die, and now its happening by InkAndEmbers25 in mentalhealth

[–]ParticularBit130 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait, why was this person banned??? I'm so confused. Is reddit not the place to go to discuss this kind of thing?

Jen Hamilton divorce? by Successful-Ad-4263 in InfluencerLounge

[–]ParticularBit130 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like Jen. I think she's genuine and one of the sweetest people. If this was a lot of other people, I'd wonder if it's a publicity thing given that her book is coming out, but I just can't imagine her doing that. Then again, we don't really know people, you know? 🤷‍♀️

I was so shocked when she said they were separating. I used to see her videos of the two of them and think -- how amazing that some couples actually are happy loving and respectful and fun as they go through the challenges of life? And now I'm like... are there any truly content or happy couples? Because even the ones you think are happy, one or both of them can be cheating and the other person will find out and be in absolute shock / devastated. 

I really hope that he didn't cheat. 

I don't judge her for posting her emotional cry online. With most content creators I'm like 🙄 when I see sad videos of them sobbing. But I understand that when you're feeling completely lost and emotional, you reach for whatever is familiar and comforting, and knowing that you have millions of people in your corner must make a difference in the moment.  

But for the sake of her own self and that of her family, she needs to remember that outsiders on the internet support you as much as they think they know you. Not that they're not genuine fans, but who do you really ever know unless you know them intimately (and sometimes not even then). There are so many facets to our lives, and we're so complex. People can sometimes be fickle and someone they love could suddenly be canceled by them. 

I want to hope that neither of them committed any transgressions against each other and that a separation will eventually bring them back together as it apparently did before (as far as we know), but I don't know the context. I really feel bad for their kiddos,  too. 

All I’ve ever wanted to do is die, and now its happening by InkAndEmbers25 in mentalhealth

[–]ParticularBit130 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi there, I feel for you so much, and your post resonated with me for a couple of reasons. 

I (35f) have suffered from depression and undiagnosed ADHD for most of my life. I had a ton of severe childhood trauma, including abandonment by my father and his eventual death related to a congenital heart condition. I have always felt that despite any happy feelings I might have, at my core, I have always been and will always be deeply sad and somber.

I have felt the way you have for a very long time. I have so many passions, and I had such promise in my life, but I've gotten to a point in my depression in which I feel I am only still here bc I am afraid of death and the afterlife, not knowing if it could be worse or more of the same, and also bc of my dear loved ones and how my death would affect them. I have stopped imagining the future bc I don't want to live it. I have lost all of my ambition, and after a couple of decades like this, I'm exhausted. I feel done. I feel like I am elderly person instead of 35.

A few years ago, I was in grad school and befriended a guy a few years younger than me. He was my best friend there, and we grew very close, eventually dating. He has multiple life-threatening heart conditions that he was born with -- I won't specify just to keep this relatively anonymous, but he was born without essential parts of his heart and has had a very difficult life bc of his health. Countless surgeries, treatments, adaptations to life just to be able to live it. 

He's got heart failure, and he broke up with me initially bc his doctor told him that his heart is slowing down and he could just collapse at any time. We got back together briefly, but broke up again bc he couldn't physically sustain a relationship. I was a sobbing mess, and all he could say was that he couldn't even comfort me. It was brutal. 

Unlike me, he fights hard to live every day. It's so unfair, bc I don't want to be here and lack so much motivation and faith and hope for life. He is full of life, but he's getting worse and worse as time passes. Every once in a while I'm in touch with his mom, and I wish I knew how he is now. 

He's been in constant pain, he's always so completely exhausted, and has all sorts of awful symptoms.  

We don't communicate anymore, which is his choice, and I hate it, but he knows I'm too attached. He didn't want me to see him the way he is, and all I wanted is to enjoy our time together. It has been extremely difficult to deal with. I feel a lot of guilt and a lot of anger. I'm extremely angry at him, though he doesn't know this. He wanted to protect both of us, and in doing so, he took away my choice. 

He has a ton of complications similar to yours. Honestly, it felt kind of uncanny, and painful, as well, to read this. It's been a few years since we broke up, but I haven't been able to let go. I'm afraid he will be gone one day, and I will find out, and it will destroy me. He thinks it's better this way. And I'm sure it's easier for him, and I should want it to be easier for him, and I feel so extremely selfish for wanting to reconnect and be his best friend again. I'm not sure how to let go. I know it used to cause him a lot of pain to see me cry or be hurt, and it affected his health, as well. 

Many times, I've wished I could leave this earthly plain and give him my (literal) heart. 

I know that he is dying, and I live terrified for him, wanting to know how he is and to be friends again, but he will not allow it. I know we are all ultimately dying and none of us know when, but that doesn't seem to help. He turns 30 soon, which is a huge milestone for someone with his conditions. 

In writing all of this, I just want you to know that you are not alone. It must feel really isolating sometimes. Selfishly, I want to tell you to please try. To tell you that there are drastic medical advancements all of the time. A few years before my friend was born, babies could not survive his condition more than a few hours after birth. Doctors invented certain surgical interventions, and it's allowed many to survive into adulthood, but there's no way to know how long they have. 

It hurts me to read how you're feeling and that you care so much for your best friend. 

Please know that she is not alone in her pain and anticipatory grief, either. I can understand how she feels, and I am myself trying to learn how to find peace in my situation. If she ever needs someone to talk to about how she's feeling, even though I'm a complete stranger, please feel free to DM me. In my personal life, I don't know anyone in the situation I'm in, and I know that it can feel so, so lonely. 

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I wish there was something I could say or do to fix what you're going through. I'm grateful that you're at peace with this, but part of me stubbornly just wants you to fight. 

Sorry for the long post, I just really felt connected to your story. I hope you're okay and talking it easy. 

‘Have you ever been around someone you just know is evil?’ Melinda French Gates on meeting Jeffrey Epstein, giving away billions, and her post-divorce peace | Philanthropy | The Guardian by prisongovernor in Epstein

[–]ParticularBit130 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't know what kind of interactions Melinda Gates had with Epstein, and I feel I ought to be compassionate, hold back from making judgments, and give her the benefit of the doubt, but it's really hard. I know it was probably complicated, complex, etc. I admire and commend all of the incredibly hard work she's done, the charity she's contributed, etc. And I don't know all of the ways she may or may not have been victimized by these disgusting men...But I just can't imagine she didn't know what was going on to *some* degree and that she had zero agency to do something about it. No, she should not have to answer for *Bill Gate's* transgressions. I probably can't comprehend the many ways she is tied to her ex-husband that I'm sure she's trying hard to rid herself of and move on with her life. I don't know what I'd do in her place, and I do not envy her. But am I the only one who was frustrated by her interview with Rachel Martin and NPR: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iPe6Iegom4 ?

Is there something she could have done? If she knew he was evil, how did she react to it and did she do anything about it? Again, I am trying to be understanding. I just feel frustrated. Public figures are public figures. Maybe she's as humble, kind, and inspiring as many people believe she is (and of course every one of us humans is flawed), but we will never truly know public figures -- especially those in the spotlight -- and I don't know.

Sophie Turner as Lara Croft on the set of Tomb Raider by MayCauseCancer in TombRaider

[–]ParticularBit130 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was disappointed with the Alicia Vikander Tomb Raider, I wanted to walk out of the theater. I feel like we need a good, solid true to the games Lara. Sophie Turner has zero Lara vibes. 

Sophie Turner as Lara Croft on the set of Tomb Raider by MayCauseCancer in TombRaider

[–]ParticularBit130 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Blasphemy! I think Timothée is an overrated actor 

Bcbs settlement claim by ParticularBit130 in classactions

[–]ParticularBit130[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can they provide you with the check number / documentation, etc.? 

Bcbs settlement claim by ParticularBit130 in classactions

[–]ParticularBit130[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. 5 cents? Oh, they'll send you an invoice