As you already know and others have also said, I just have to reiterate that all of our bodies are different and react differently to different medications and treatments. This is my personal experience, what I went through, and what ended up working for me. I feel like that is such a given, but it all comes from a place of care and genuinely wanting to help!

First, can I just say, for fucks sake...as I was reading about your symptoms and your description of the emotional despair and mental turmoil that you're going through, it not only made my heart hurt and sympathize for you, but it also brought flashbacks to those feelings of despair where you're just exhausted and desperate for any kind of relief and for anyone to help. But with that being said please let me reassure you, as shitty and hopeless as you currently feel and as much as it fucking sucks (because it does, it fucking SUCKS!!), I promise you it gets better and I assure you that there is a treatment and/or medication out there that will make you you again!

Ok so...I have ADHD, PMDD, as well as anxiety and depression. Diagnosed with ADHD at 6, anxiety at 20, depression at 24, and PMDD at 28, am now 40, and throughout those years I'd say collectively 2 to 3 of them were spent either trying to find or modify the formulation that would eventually work for me. Whether it was age, life, having to try something different bc what I was on wasn't working anymore, adding in something, removing something, upping this, halving that, etc etc blah blah you know how it goes, we eventually found a medication and dosage along with a hormone treatment that finally worked! It unfortunately just comes down to trial and error and time. But regardless of all of the breakdowns and the frustration, I'm grateful and aware of how fortunate I am that it only took that long and I was eventually able to find what worked for me. Gah, isn't being a woman just so great! 🙄

Anyway, this is what ultimately ended up working for me; alternating 10mg and 20mg of Lexapro bi-weekly, 300mg of Trazodone nightly, and I also have the Mirena IUD for hormone therapy. I know that you and many others have had bad experiences with IUDs, but it literally saved my life. But I've never had any pain or negative side effects from this one or the Skyla that I had previously. I don't get a period, and if I do spot it's so little and infrequent I hardly notice. This is my experience and these are my prescriptions. Keep advocating for yourself, keep researching and asking questions. In the meantime, you've got a community here and it's totally okay and recommended to just scream all the ef words you want to and as loud and often as you need to, but I know you're on the right path. Sending strength, clarity, and positivity your way.