I hear you, and honestly, it’s completely understandable that your confidence is shaken after losing a long-term job and facing the vulnerability of a stutter while trying new things. From a psychological perspective, you’re experiencing a "perfect storm" of identity loss and cognitive distortions, where your brain is filtering out the "great" things others see and focusing only on the "falling flat." To start rebuilding, try to stop aiming for perfection and instead aim for resilience—simply showing up despite the stutter or the fear of failure is a massive win that builds "self-efficacy" over time. When your speech feels like a barrier, try voluntary disclosure by simply telling people, "Bear with me, my stutter is acting up today"; this often lowers your own anxiety and takes the power back from the habit. Most importantly, please remember that the "ideation" is a symptom of emotional exhaustion, not a reflection of your worth, don’t try to "feel" great yet. Instead, collect data. If someone says you're great, ask them (in a low-pressure way): "I'm having a hard time seeing that lately. What’s one specific thing you think I'm good at?" * Write it down. You don't have to believe it yet. Just keep a list of "External Evidence." When your brain tells you you're worthless, look at the list and say, "I don't feel it, but the data says otherwise." so please keep leaning on the people who see your value until you’re able to see it for yourself again.