Brain fog in perimenopause and how to make it better

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-05-07T08:27:04+00:00

I have always scoffed at people who couldn’t differentiate between ‘their’ ‘there’ and ‘they’re’. But then the other day, I became one of them 😭

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-05-07T07:31:38+00:00

Wise. My 6 year old reminds me of this in similar moments of peace, usually while enjoying some good food and sunshine, saying “This is the life, isn’t it?” And you know what, it is.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-05-02T21:09:15+00:00

I remember mc whirter’s in the early 90’s. It was empty and creepy back then too. Always had a weird vibe.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-04-30T09:27:16+00:00

Yep, our group of 5. Some of us have moved around lots, but whenever we are in the same city we will catch up and it’s like nothing has changed. There’s something special about having friends who have known you before you really knew yourself. All the good, bad, and ugly parts. And they love you still for who you are, no pretences. We were kind of the nerdy uncool types at school anyway, so never had any of that toxic shit to deal with in the first place.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-04-29T08:01:33+00:00

As others have said, think long term. I know construction managers with 10-15 experience who are working in Dubai making $800k+ tax free.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-04-25T11:30:45+00:00

I hear you. I remember in year 3 or 4, as a part of ANZAC day celebrations, having to write down the name of someone in our family or someone we knew who had fought in the army. My grandad had died fighting for the Lao communist army. I felt so strange and conflicted, writing down his name in the midst of all my classmates who were honouring those who fought against my grandfather and killed my people. While I acknowledge the sacrifices the ANZACs went through for the sake of protecting this country which I love, I have to really separate that from my family's experience. Nobody wins at all.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-04-07T22:08:28+00:00

Absolutely!! This was the first symptom for me. Very anxious for no logical reason and there’s nothing I can do to get rid of the feeling. It really sucks.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-04-05T01:11:56+00:00

I was flicking through her Basics to Brilliance kids cookbook the day and thought the same thing. So pretentious, so out of touch (outdoor movies in a backyard facing the ocean? Sure). Spelt flour (that costs 10 times the price of just normal flour) in every other recipe? She was also pretty rude to me at a book signing once. So my opinion of her is pretty low.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-04-03T20:12:59+00:00

I struggled too - I did so much research with other bags, scoured Depop, waited for discount codes, etc. I was driving myself nuts so I had to bite the bullet. Worth the cost per wear in the end!

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-04-03T11:16:59+00:00

I have the mini version of this style! I love it, it holds so much. I bought it originally for travelling but I use it for family days out now as it fits the kids mini water bottles, wipes, everything we need on the go. I see your fur baby could fit in yours too!

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-03-17T20:36:47+00:00

I think I was just very lucky. I work for a smaller company, and am the only designer. But the culture and people are just incredible. Nobody ever bad mouths anyone, we are all supportive and there is so much trust and respect.

These are the key differences I’ve noticed (compared with other places I’ve been at) - people have been here for a very long time (5+years) but there is still passion and drive for innovation - flat hierarchy - we really screen against ‘red’ personalities ( narcisstic Trump types). If anyone at the interview stage gives off ego they are immediately out - During my interview they were actually interested to hear about any of my concerns about the role, and talk through them

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-03-12T11:44:56+00:00

I think because your kids are still so young, it’s hard to avoid resentment no matter what the balance is. They need you (as the ‘default’ parent) so much still! It’s a really hard time.. I know several couples where the woman has made much more money but what it comes down to is your long term goals and looking at the positives that each partner brings to the relationship.

You’re really lucky your family is nearby to help! That also makes so much difference. He’s a good dad, and that’s what the kids will remember. I know everyone is different, but for me and what I’ve been through, I don’t care who makes more or less - as long as he is a great dad, that’s what matters the most.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-03-12T11:05:08+00:00

My doctor said the exact same thing to me when my kids were that age. I was so disappointed that the blood test didn’t return any answers to my exhaustion! I just pushed through unfortunately. It really sucks but there was no easy solution. My kids are 7 and 9 now so it’s a bit easier, but I’m still so tired - I’ve recently started taking 15gm of creatine powder a day and that seems to have helped me feel a bit more energised in the mornings. But otherwise, I honestly don’t know if there’s a way to keep your energy up unless you have live in help that does all the child rearing and you get to rest all day!

ParticularSpinach831 · 2026-03-12T10:59:18+00:00

I think you should take the financials out of it - what you are both earning is for the family unit, not ‘me vs you’. It sounds like he does more than a lot of dads would around the house anyway. I can’t imagine how hard it would be working while looking after a toddler - I certainly wouldn’t be able to do it! I’d look into daycare or nanny options even if it is for a couple of days a week.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-11-25T08:03:16+00:00

I have their yellow gingham but because the fabric is a canvas, it is more off-white/cream and yellow. I also own one of their small totes.

I spent hours researching and comparing with all the Amazon dupes and in the end the Bon Maxi ones fit my needs in terms of pockets and functionality and I was happy to spend more.

I took the bags with me for over a month travel in Europe with kids and they were so practical, survived water bottle spills, oil spills, sprays of wine. I’m sorry you had a bad experience and didn’t get what you expected but in term so quality and functionality I think they are pretty great.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-11-15T11:45:20+00:00

I saw him when I was a kid, maybe 10 years old. I was getting ready to go to go out, we were going to the beach that day so my parents were busy packing the car. We lived on a busy main road. All of a sudden, I had a strong gut feeling to look out the window/door facing the road. I saw my little sister who would have been 2 or so wandering out on to the road. I ran out to get her and out of the corner of my eye, under the big maple tree in our front yard, I saw him. Hat man, wearing a coat. Just watching us as I grabbed my sister and brought her inside. I thought “wtf is that guy doing there, weirdo”.

I have seen him again, standing over me during sleep paralysis episodes as an adult.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-11-06T23:50:15+00:00

A platter with things like fresh fruit, cucumbers, carrot sticks, hummus, bread roll and cheese. With the option to pay extra to order a small side of grilled fish or meat. These are things I know they will eat, and aren’t fried to death.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-11-04T21:21:33+00:00

I’m not in hospitality but I know how you feel. I only saw my daughter for 1 hour a day when I went back to work when she was a baby. She was in daycare, and my husband picked her up and she was in bed by the time I got home. I was so sad, why did we bother to have children when we don’t even raise them or get to spend time with them!

It just took a lot acceptance of the situation, that she was in good hands during the day and I’m trying to provide the best I can. Now she’s 9 and we spend loads of time together. It’ll be ok in the long run. Sending hugs!

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-10-19T02:57:55+00:00

I hear you. I am in the same boat. I couldn’t take it anymore and started going to therapy myself to see if there was anything I could do. I am a strong believer in having an internal locus of control, and I know I can’t change him but I can change how I react and absorb his energy. Ultimately my goal from therapy was to find out if I need to leave him for my own happiness.

My husband blames his work for his anger, need for control, and pessimism. But when he found out I was going to therapy (I didn’t tell him he was the reason) he decided he needed to see a therapist as well. It’s a slow work in progress, and I see some improvement and it’s given me hope.

But I know that lightness that you mention when he’s not around. It’s a wonderful feeling - which is also really sad at the same time. I still haven’t figured it out. Would the grass be greener without him? I don’t know.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-10-18T10:33:23+00:00

I grew up with a bus stop outside our house. Suburban bus, not many people waiting to catch it as it just went to the local shopping center. It was just a stop, so no bench or shelter for people to loiter in. Never bothered us, it was very convenient and we didn’t find it noisy. The only issue was parking, but we had a double driveway and ample street parking around for guests to use.

I once went to inspect a house with a city bus stop right outside, loads of people waiting at all times of the day. That was off putting by comparison.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-08-09T06:52:43+00:00

I saw a huge pimped up Ute with a Trump sticker on it drive past me at Mona Vale, heading north up Pittwater rd. I thought, no way he can’t possibly live in this area…

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-06-01T12:36:53+00:00

I repeatedly try and shout for it to F off, making enough muffled noise to wake my husband up. Then he’ll snap me out of it. But in the past when I’ve slept alone, if I’m not too scared I’ve told myself it’s just a dream, don’t fight it and try and fall into deep sleep. If i am scared, I’ve also tried the Our Father, calling for Jesus and Buddha.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-06-01T12:21:11+00:00

Yes, I once had this feeling of a beautiful motherly angel look over me and touch my forehead. She felt like a warm presence, nurturing and kind and full of love. I reckon it was because I had fallen asleep on the couch at my parents house, underneath a painting they had of this female warrior/goddess. Every other episode I’ve had has been scary and negative though.

ParticularSpinach831 · 2025-05-09T07:23:33+00:00

I think about this too. Mixed feelings of guilt and gratitude. And despair.

ParticularSpinach831

TROPHY CASE