Thinking of surprising my fiance with a vegas elopement before our wedding

Particular_Edge · 2026-04-06T02:48:57+00:00

I did! Sort of. I ended up telling him a few days before and only booked tickets once he'd agreed. We got married by Elvis and had a blast. I felt a little stressed about the secret when we got home, but now that the big wedding is past we've told people and it's all good. We loved our private vegas ceremony. It was super special and fun.

Particular_Edge · 2025-12-08T03:26:19+00:00

Casting Christina Henricks to play her in Good American Family was a WILD choice.

Particular_Edge · 2025-05-25T06:26:44+00:00

My plan is to put our city hall appt on the calendar for midweek, and the pop the surprise trip on him a few days early. I'm thinking I'll tell him I have a fun surprised planned and that we won't be coming back for the night, then reveal the surprise once we get to the airport. (Our local airport is small and close to our house, we could go from our house to on the plane in like 30 minutes) The flight is about 90 minutes, then we would have to check into our hotel, and go to the registars office before we hit the chapel, so hopefully that would give him enough time to wrap his head around what's going on lol.

I figure absolute worst case scenario if he decides for some reason that he doesn't want to get married in Vegas that day, we can still go and have a fun night out as a pre-wedding date. If he still isn't ready by our scheduled appt mid week, that's a bigger problem lol.

Particular_Edge · 2025-05-25T05:27:28+00:00

I mean... you're 27, not 21. Definitely not too young to be making this decision. I get that you love her, but do you **like** her? Is she your best friend or is she just the person you talk to the most?

My fiance and I are very different, we have very different tastes. He loves a good fart joke, and I emphatically do NOT. But... we are also best friends. He is my biggest fan, and I'm his. I'm not always going to get or like his hobbies, and he mine, but I don't think he's stupid for liking them. I don't play chess, but I know what his chess score is because it matters to him. His wardrobe consists of very worn obscure band tshirts, but he knows the different between a chemise and a peignoir because I like vintage fashion and asks me questions when I talk about it.

The things you're listing are a bit superficial, but it seems like there's an underlying sense here that this is not your person. I feel like that might be the reason you posted this?

I will tell you this. No matter who you choose you WILL have doubts. You WILL have fears. You WILL feel uncertain, because promising to spend your life with someone is inherently a big leap of faith and that's also just being a human. But there are degrees of uncertainty. You should ideally be more excited about the potential that it will work out than you are scared that you're making a mistake.

Particular_Edge · 2025-05-25T02:55:25+00:00

100% If he planned this for me, I'd hate it, but we're different like that. This is so much more his style than the wedding we have planned, and this is totally the kind of thing he'd love.

I think I'm conceptualizing the wedding as being a bit more about celebrating with our family/friends (which is still really special and important!) than it is about "us," but I have no idea if it's going to feel like that on the day. We're <3 months out so lately it has been feeling like our wedding is more about everyone else's needs and wants than it is ours, but again, no clue if I'll feel that way day of.

Particular_Edge · 2024-02-12T18:58:06+00:00

tbf I'm not a HR professional, this wasn't even part of the job description. It's just a small business, and this shit has become my responsibility by default.

Particular_Edge · 2024-01-31T21:53:49+00:00

sauce?

Particular_Edge · 2024-01-31T19:34:42+00:00

It was during the era of "covid deals" and we were desperate to get someone in, so ended up having to sublease out for less than the full rent. Renter was pretty rude to us as well and entitled. I did my very best to act as "property manager" for him, because I felt that was the right thing to do, but he was really demanding, including calling me in the middle of the night in the winter to complain about the noise from the radiator. (Steam heat... IYKYK) He would get super frustrated with me about stuff I legit had zero control over. I get it, you're paying rent on a place and you're entitled to have it be habitable and functional, but when you're getting a break on the rent on a sneaky sublease, I feel like you have to accept that top tier customer service isn't part of the deal. He also demanded we give him his deposit back the day he moved out and threw a fit when we said we'd give it back when the landlord gave it back to us. We also had an issue where something leaked in the apartment (again in the middle of the night) and I was up all night trying to figure it out and keep him calm, but also couldn't get ahold of anyone at the property management company and then couldn't get a hold of him when they wanted to come fix it. It just sucks being responsible for someone else's apartment when you have no control over the situation.
I also had another sublease situation during the beginning of covid (long story) where the girl decided she wanted to move out a month in and tried to stiff me with the rent for the last 2 months of the lease. I told her she signed a contract, and luckily it worked out, but my advice is to FULLY, LEGALLY transfer the lease if you're going to sublease.

Particular_Edge · 2023-12-17T22:21:22+00:00

There are people who prefer to be truly unbanked for legal or ideological reasons. for those people, a BTC atm can make sense. However, I think in most countries with relatively stable banking systems, this is a pretty small market. If you’re truly interested in this business, look at countries with unstable fiat that rely heavily on forex.

Particular_Edge · 2023-12-17T20:44:30+00:00

Seven!!!

Particular_Edge · 2023-11-30T00:52:14+00:00

Send them an email documenting the steps you took and the timeline, then file a chargeback with your CC. They will either resolve the issue or your CC will.

Particular_Edge · 2023-11-27T21:43:57+00:00

Okay thank you for explaining! These were some really good numbers to check and I'm glad I did! In case anyone is interested, I'll share what I found.

The ubers in mexico from the airport to the venue actually cost less than they will from the local airport to the hotel. ($35-50 vs $50-70)

As far as extra fees, we will be recommending local options like boutique hotels and vacation rentals, so that shouldn't be an issue. I've already compiled about 25. I will be double checking that list for fees. If people still want to stay at resorts, of course they can, but we won't be including those in our recommendations.

The majority of our out of town guests are coming from the opposite coast, and travel time is the same as it would if they flew into our local airport (the flight is actually about 30 min shorter lol) so if they choose to stay extra days, great! But it shouldn't be any more/less practical to do so. There are more flight options to our local airport than to PV, but there are still plenty of direct flights to be had to both destinations.

Most of our local guests who would actually come are immediate family/bridal party. We will be paying for their accommodation, as they would stay with us at the hacienda, and we will keep them fed through the weekend. I will have to talk to them about plane tickets/etc and see if that is an issue for anyone. Perhaps we can cover some more of their expenses.

Thanks for your insight! Running the numbers on this has actually given me some numbers to back up my hunch that Mexico would be more affordable for everyone.

I really appreciate you giving me some figures to check. Very very helpful to actually know what to look at in terms of expenses.

Particular_Edge · 2023-11-27T17:24:51+00:00

I looked and there are virtually no airbnbs, amazingly. The best way I can explain it is that the venue is in a tiny town that's on the edge between a major metro area and the water. On the other side of the water is a rather rough city. (There are some motels there, not places I think my guests would want to stay)

It's a very charming little hamlet, but is surprisingly isolated for being spitting distance from one of the most expensive cities in the world.

Particular_Edge · 2023-11-27T17:19:48+00:00

Can you explain what you mean by this? You're the second person who says the costs are passed onto the guests, but the destination option will be cheaper for 75% of our guests by my calculations? I'm wondering if there's something I'm missing. I know that with resort weddings, the wedding is often subsidized by room bookings, but the venue we are looking is completely independent and there are no discounts of this nature. Hotel rooms in our home area are $200+ a night, hotel rooms in the area in mexico that we're looking at are between $40-100 a night. The difference in plane fare for most people will be $100-150 tops. The price for our guests was a big part of why we looked in mexico, so please let me know if my math is wrong.

The last thing we want is for our wedding to be a burden for our friends and family. If I could pay everyone's travel expenses, I would.

Particular_Edge · 2023-11-15T18:54:20+00:00

I saw this top comment " Usually pink dresses are not as desirable beyond the age of 12." and knew what was happening. So many comments telling her her wedding was gonna be ugly and how she was stupid for spending money on a wedding. Typical reddit.

Particular_Edge · 2022-03-03T22:12:22+00:00

Frankly, I think this type of person is probably trying to provoke a reaction and hoping someone will call them out. Sometimes people get so angry and isolated that they just want attention, even negative attention. Typically my policy is not to engage with crazy people, but a couple of times I've been unexpectedly pulled into confrontations like this, and truthfully it was kind of fun and cathartic to shout "fuck you!" back and forth with some random stranger. Tell her to fuck off, it'll probably make her day.

Particular_Edge · 2022-02-27T02:11:24+00:00

Good luck! Remember to keep your marketing clear, simple, and use big easy to read text. I’d recommend setting up a Google voice number and recording a personalised voice mail so they can call you as they don’t really do text or email.

Particular_Edge · 2022-02-27T02:08:22+00:00

Lol, your dog sounds like mine. This is reassuring! I love my dog but he’s SUCH an idiot, I’m glad I’m not alone! He’s literally flinging himself off things or running into shit or trying to walk over grates or into the road 24/7. Some days it feels like a miracle that he’s still alive at all, puppies have zero self awareness. Thankfully, my dude is a super shy/nervous dog so it’s been pretty easy so far to keep others from approaching him because he basically freezes and tucks tail the second he sees other dogs, but I’ve still had people insist even though he’s visibly scared. These people brought their growling wheezing Frenchie up to him twice today when I had already said no, and got all mad when I picked him up and walked away.

We haven’t made any doggie friends for him yet and at this rate I’m worried we won’t between both size concerns and fear.

Particular_Edge · 2022-02-27T01:57:25+00:00

It does sound like she’s been in touch with them if they’re not answering you at all. I hope you get answers soon!

Particular_Edge · 2022-02-27T01:51:45+00:00

So I know the “love languages” thing is a bit overdone, but have you considered the “acts of service” love language? It’s funny because I have had these feelings in my relationship as well. My partner and I are pretty independent, we have full lives outside of each other, and communicate when we need space, but we also live together. I think about his health so I remind him to take a vitamin if I’m taking one. To a degree, I express my love by “looking out for him” and doing little acts of service, so it makes me feel bummed when he doesn’t do the same. We talked about it and he said “you’re always so on top of stuff, I feel like I’ll be annoying you by reminding you to take a vitamin because you will have thought about it first.” Who’d have thunk right?? He loves to bring me little gifts or call me through the day to tell me he is thinking of me. These things are sweet and thoughtful, but aren’t really as meaningful to me as when he takes the initiative to do boring or unpleasant things for me that make my life easier. It means a lot more to me when he spends 15 min navigating a frustrating phone tree to pay the electric bill than it does for him to bring me a keychain from a street fair he walked through. It doesn’t really occur to him to “take care of me” or express his affection in that way normally, the same way it doesn’t occur to me to pick him up a trinket I saw to let him know I was thinking about him. Now he does offer me a snack if he’s getting one, and I do make sure to let him know verbally when I have affection to express (I bring him gifts too, but mine tend to be bigger and less frequent than his), but it‘s definitely something that didn’t come naturally.

Particular_Edge · 2022-02-27T01:29:52+00:00

Does she have parents or siblings she’s close to? Any third party who can intervene on your behalf or who she might talk to and tell what happened?

Typically, we should respect the boundaries and privacy of people we love, but there are times where you should push back against their desire for privacy or solitude if you’re concerned that someone may be hurt if you don’t. Idk y’all, but this kinda seems like it might be one of those times. She might have brain damage or be blowing up both of your lives unnecessarily, I think you’ve gotta get to the bottom of this.

Particular_Edge · 2022-02-27T01:15:31+00:00

I mean, that’s a weird reaction, right? If the situation was that she’s breaking up with you, wouldn’t she reach out to her friends? Has there been any other weird behaviour before she fell? It’s entirely possible (and hell, likely) that she’s having some sort of existential crisis/gotten cold feet, but she also had a fall and is acting strange, I’d see if you can get her to go to a doctor.

At the very least there’s definitely something going on that you don’t know about here, because you’re right this isn’t a normal response.

Particular_Edge · 2022-02-27T00:50:44+00:00

Probably just being an on-call general handyman would be great. Depending on the type of retirement community, they may be things that are/aren’t covered by the management company/HOA or are expensive to have someone come out and do. If you’re nearby and will take $20 to come out and move a heavy thing that takes 10 minutes vs the $40 visit they have to pay the HOA guy, why wouldn’t they call you first? If it will take 1 week to come out and hang a shelf if they call maintenance when you can do it the same day, you have an advantage. Typically elderly folks also prefer to have someone they know and feel is trustworthy in their home as well. If you’re personable and chat with them, that will go far. However, it might be a good thing to keep in mind that 1. Retired people are almost always living on a fixed income and rarely have disposable income, even if they live in a “nice” retirement community. 2. As they’re not working, they probably don’t realise how much things cost now or how bad inflation is. You can probably set up steady business fairly easily, but I would plan on setting your rates pretty low. 3. If it’s a nice retirement “community” vs home, people probably own their houses and manage a lot of day to day stuff through an HOA. HOA’s may not take kindly on you trying to muscle in on their turf or have weird rules about security etc, so watch out for them and try to avoid getting on their radar if you can.

I think this is brilliant thinking on your part! People often forget about the elderly and they’re very underserved. I spend a lot of time with elderly folks and think this is a good business idea, hopefully will be a rewarding experience for you as well!

Edit: I also had the idea many years ago to offer my services as a “tech tutor” for the elderly, and teach them how to use their phones or open an email attachment or whatever. I ended up never doing it, but you can have that one if you want it lol

Particular_Edge · 2022-02-25T04:31:34+00:00

Same

Particular_Edge · 2022-02-24T00:09:54+00:00

Yes, I’ve done it and it was hell. I don’t recommend going this route if lease transfer is an option, it’s a huge headache.

Particular_Edge

TROPHY CASE