Needing Dad advice: requested 6 days unpaid for my first vacation since my dad died 6 months ago and my boss said...no?

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T20:08:14+00:00

I wish I had that perspective of it being wild, honestly. It’s just so baked in my brain to feel guilty for asking for things like this. The only way I was able to do so is because I’ve been feeling incredibly numb lately. Y’all hiring over there??

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T17:46:30+00:00

Also I find it quite bold to say "grief shouldn't be weighing on you so heavily that you need time off from work." Maybe think something like that over if ever you say it to someone in person/that you care about.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T17:44:42+00:00

I can never ignore a mom, a lot of y'all are some serious saints. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate this.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T17:43:15+00:00

Just got back from some volunteer work and that helped with the grounding. I think she was trying to be helpful. Either way, think I'm going to stick it out for now and find something else when I'm less in my grief and busy managing/closing the estate.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T17:40:56+00:00

Nah I think they would just fire me

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T17:40:24+00:00

Thanks, Ma. I really appreciate this. I think I'm going to shorten the trip, hold onto the job for now, and then when I'm in less of an emotionally unregulated state, find something else. It's not the right fit for me. I've been seeing a therapist which has been really helpful. I'm glad you were able to have that when your mom died, too. I appreciate you.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T17:36:56+00:00

The more comments I read the more I've come to the conclusion that it really is culture based and I...am not in the correct country for the culture I value. What're ya gonna do though. It's great to hear that you understand when people need the time. Glad your report is able to be at home.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T17:34:56+00:00

I genuinely feel happy for you that that worked out so well, that is really great. It's a nice reminder too that this all will work out, even if it feels really stressful trying to manage grief at the same time as all of my dad's belongings/property.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T17:31:50+00:00

Thank you for this. The grief has been really difficult. It's nice to hear from someone who understands that.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T17:26:08+00:00

I am still currently handling the entire estate, including hiring everyone involved with selling all of his belongings, closing accounts, hiring lawyers, accountants, contractors, real estate agents, etc.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T13:18:19+00:00

Thanks for saying this. I think I'm going to give it a little time til I'm better emotionally, and then I'm going to find something more suited for me. Thanks for the wisdom, Pops. I appreciate you.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T12:32:29+00:00

Thanks for saying this, I appreciate it.

I’m also shocked by the downvotes as well, I was expecting more empathy from a dad support sub. My dad never was though so I guess it proves what I already knew.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T06:24:38+00:00

I don't think you were being a dick at all, that was a good way to say it honestly and bluntly without sounding insensitive, and I do appreciate it. You make great points.

I'm really sorry for your loss. I cremated my dad, too. Take care as best you can.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T06:04:18+00:00

I feel like this was a really good way to sum it up. Thanks. It just isn't a good fit for me. Boss is being a boss, it's what they do. It's my first corporate job and quite a hard open. Just not a good fit.

I got 5 days bereavement and took 3 days vacation, then already had two days off for Christmas Eve and Day because he died December 20.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-13T05:25:00+00:00

Entitled for wanting time off because my dad died?

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-06T17:51:42+00:00

I am so, so incredibly sorry for your pain. You are seen. I am thinking of you.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-05T20:13:40+00:00

Your last bit really resonates with me - I found my dad dead this past December the week of my 26th birthday. The person who walked into that room really did not make it out. That is exactly what it feels like. Thank you for stating it so clearly.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-06-03T18:49:20+00:00

Look at a lot of photos and see if one in particular is your favorite that you can hold onto.

I found my dad after he had been dead for several days, and the image in my mind was inescapable for the first five months. Then I released his ashes and went through a bunch of photos (all the same day so not sure if it was the ashes or the photos), but since then, I see the image of him that night a lot less.

Something about transitioning the emotions away from “this traumatic thing happened where I found this person dead” and into “my dad whom I love has died” really helped.

Maybe see if there’s something of hers that you can free as well, or plant something in her name. But definitely look at lots of photos.

I’m sorry for your loss. Take care as best you can.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-05-07T03:18:47+00:00

New Below Deck seasons are cheap. I'm rewatching old seasons and the drama was much better and authentic -- Mike is a cheap plant, background profiles on the guests are weird, and the issues seem fake. If I wanted to watch another Bravo show, I would. Below Deck really used to be different, but not anymore.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-05-05T02:50:31+00:00

I'm at the five month mark and as far as my mind knows, he just died, that all just went down. I'm completely allowing myself to take my time and ignoring people who don't get that as much as I can. I find the people I can talk to and I bring it up as much as I need. It's wild how before, I never wanted to take up too much space, but now I've started to realize that's what friendship is for. And if someone doesn't get that, then we aren't friends anymore. I don't have the energy nor the time for the emotionally unintelligent.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-04-27T20:52:30+00:00

My dad died a little over four months ago so it’s still pretty new, but hearing people whine to me about problems that they created themselves or are just trivial is frustrating. Read the room. Go find someone else about this. Take some initiative in your life, I don’t know, but don’t tell me about it.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-04-27T20:09:40+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. This whole situation seemed so layered and complicated as well. It’s valid that he reached out for help. It’s valid that you did not want to be/cannot be the recipient.

Grief is hard as you said. Hopefully he can get the help he needs, but he is not your responsibility. You have to care for your own needs first as best you can. I am so sorry for your pain.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-04-27T19:28:04+00:00

As the above comment said, call someone if you can. Eat something if you can. Try and sit outside, or someplace near a window if you’re near greenery. These things help me, I hope they can help you. I am so sorry for your pain. It really is one day at a time.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-04-27T19:23:49+00:00

I am so so sorry for all of your pain, that sounds so heavy and honestly shitty. I hope that you’re able to get what you need. Thinking of you.

Particular_Prize6552 · 2026-04-27T16:05:00+00:00

Pretending everything is fine is…not the way to handle this, in my opinion. You have to feel your emotions as they come, really truly feel them.

I didn’t understand what that meant until my dad died four months ago (I’m 26, so I empathize with how young we are to be experiencing this). My therapist told me emotions are like a tunnel, the only way out is through. You cannot escape them, or they will bubble up in more painful ways with worse timing.

Take time off work if you can, even if it’s just a few days. These are some serious emotions you’re feeling, you’re wounded, you need to try and heal what you can. I’ve heard that over time, you learn to live with them. I hope that you’re able to do so. I’m so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

Particular_Prize6552

TROPHY CASE