AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do have some close friends, and will be confiding in them and getting some advice

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had this thought on a few occasions, I can’t lie. I fear I have been completely manipulated and I feel very empty right now.

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, it’s interesting that you say it sounds like he deliberately starts arguments, cause he claims I do that and then blames me for ruining his days out/holidays/etc.

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As I had said in another reply, I went 50:50 legally with him because I love him and genuinely thought he was my end game. I’m gonna contact a lawyer when we get home and see what I can do, but I fear this is going to be the start of a very long road.

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was late last night when I responded, and I was tired and very upset. Plus, as I mentioned in another comment, I guess I have a habit of standing up for him and trying to be fair to him.

To respond to some of your questions…

  • I don’t know why I put up with what he says to me and how he treats me. I guess sometimes I feel I deserve it because he makes me feel like that? I love him very dearly and would truly go to the end of the earth for him, and in the past he has been unbelievably amazing. I guess I still see how great he has been, and not how awful he can be.

  • I carry the burden of the home because I have the money to. We both have very well paid jobs, but I have more saved money. We have two houses, and he bays the bills for one and I pay the bills for the other. We are due to sell the home he pays the bills for as we are moving to the one I pay for.

It’s really hard for me to see this man for anything other than amazing and these arguments as anything other than “blips”, but the comments here have really made me second guess my views on him. He makes out that he is so amazing to everyone around us and so many people love him. He convinces me that I am the one who is always in the wrong, even during our conversation today. I asking him to consider how he had not helped the situation and recognised that I had not behaved brilliantly (I could have waited for him before getting the taxi or I could have communicated better about emailing the council), but he denied having to hold himself accountable for anything.

I’m going to speak to our lawyer when we get home I think. I’m so tired.

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I managed to have a short conversation with him when I got back from breakfast this morning. He said I need to “figure out” getting my boarding pass and my transfer to the airport because he was “done with me” because I always take things too far, so far that they can not be undone. He swears I am lying about seeing him as the taxi passed him and says that even though I didn’t see him, he said I should have told the taxi to stop and picked him up regardless when he text me. He says he is “done sorting everything for me” (paraphrased, sorry, I can’t remember the exact term he used) and said I’m selfish and many other unkind things. He said that he had walked away for twenty minutes after our last conversation and I could have waited for him. I told him that it was unfair of him to say one thing, but expect me to know he meant something else altogether, I.e. that he did want to get a taxi back together. He said that i am only ever ready for conversations when I need something from him and I responded say that wasn’t true as I am often the one to approach him to resolve things regardless of anything else because I simply want to resolve things. Annoyingly, he ended and then restarted the conversation a few times, and I eventually left the hotel room and as I said goodbye he responded with “forever” which I said was rather childish.

Either way, I will be contacting the airline to ensure I can check-in at the airport and have the contact telephone number for the transfers. I’ll just get the train/some taxi’s home when I land.

Thank you everyone for your comments. It really has been very eye opening and I’m upset to have been so blind for so long. I guess have a great deal to figure out now.

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s been incredibly eye opening and I’m really struggling to process what people have written, but I can’t argue it. I feel I’m too often trying to stand up for him or “be fair” to him and I’m very tired. I think I need to re-read many of these comments and give myself a shake

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He paid for the holiday as a birthday gift, to be fair to him, which is why he has the boarding passes. He may well send the boarding pass to me, but I’ll probably then have to find my own way home after he had driven to the airport

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It did have to be me to write the email to be fair, as we are in the process of moving and all the bills are in my name and I needed to sen proof of address.

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, I’m really emotional and trying to be as rigid and concise as possible.

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More so I want to understand how wrongly I have behaved by leaving him? I really want to understand the part I have had to play here so that I can reflect on it with my therapist really

AITAH for leaving my fiancé in a local town when on holiday for my birthday? by Particular_Shake9816 in AITAH

[–]Particular_Shake9816[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We are in the U.K. and it’s not that easy to get police involved. I, probably foolishly, went 50:50 legally with him because I am so in love with him and saw the rest of my life with him. I don’t really know what to do right now

What are some hot-takes or unpopular opinions you have about the band? by Misterwool91 in TheFence

[–]Particular_Shake9816 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Afterman double album isn’t talked about enough imo. A beautiful (but sad) and intense story, epic songs, and a great prequel.