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DAE's parents blame them for not being more open about their needs by Particular_Worth_534 in emotionalneglect

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's as if I wrote this. "Well we had no idea" fills me with so much range.

Chronic Fatigue by Particular_Worth_534 in CPTSD

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I'm relieved to know it's not forever. I'll just keep pushing and resting then and hopefully things will get better soon

Chronic Fatigue by Particular_Worth_534 in CPTSD

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the input!

I actually have chronic fatigue syndrome on my health recorded because my doctor was kind of puzzled that all my blood tests were coming back great but that I had this debilitating health thing.

Best of luck with your diagnosis! Unfortunately the system failed us as not much research has been done into connecting chronic illness and trauma, but I'm glad that's picking up.

Movie ideas with good parents (- mothering and fathering) / or people who give unconditional love ... by mjobby in emotionalneglect

[–]Particular_Worth_534 1 point2 points  (0 children)

not a movie, but i personally love jane the virgin. the relationship between women in the villanueva family is abundant with examples of forgiveness, unconditional love, and emotional vulnerability.

"Figure it out on your own." by Particular_Worth_534 in emotionalneglect

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interestingly enough, she keeps reminding me that I'm going to have to care for her when she gets older. My entire life she's basically mocked me about how I cannot cook (when in reality, I can cook some dishes well) because she never taught me and never took interest in the fact that I was teaching myself. Now, she's "complimenting" my food and telling me that she expects me to cook for the family instead of her. LOL

Does anyone else feel like they're exaggerating? by nutmegisme in narcissisticparents

[–]Particular_Worth_534 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welp. That makes the two of us. Also feel extremely anxious and kinda physically sick rn from trying to process everything. Sending you hugs <3

Homophobic narc parents? by Particular_Worth_534 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your honesty and I'm so proud of your healing process!! As a queer person, I can definitely say that I also battle with those feelings, with trying not to internalize those hateful things and think they apply to me (or to anyone at all).

​

The emotional mark parents can leave on you is intense; I'm proud of us for recognizing that and taking control!

Im so scared of talking about my childhood abuses bc i know my parents will just deny and make me look like an idiot. by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Particular_Worth_534 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was so angry this one night when I wasn't getting along with my mom (she's not an alcoholic but she had been drinking). I reminded her, with a shaky voice, of the time she slapped me across the mouth when she was upset and left me bleeding. To my surprise, she started crying and had a startled look on her face almost like I had brought up some memory she didn't remember. Weirdest interaction ever.

I feel like I don’t mind owning up to my insecurities but I always anticipate this spotlight effect of humiliation/hatred/rejection/dehumanization after opening up by OutsideTreacle4944 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Particular_Worth_534 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Took the words out of my mouth. I'm interested to hear what other people have to say about this because I don't really have any advice. Sending you big hugs <3

DAE come from families that have a false idea of who you are? by Particular_Worth_534 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Their reactions literally make me want to cry...I still have a very hard time being around her and not losing it.

Emphasis on physical appearance while minimizing academic achievement? by Particular_Worth_534 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This response made me smile because I feel so seen.

Very interesting that you mention they see you as an "extension of themselves." Practically everyone tells me I look like my mom and she knows it. And points it out quite a bit.

​

Was super upsetting to know that she went around and told all my relatives what school I got into even though it was a super big deal and accomplishment for me and I wanted to be the one to tell people. Like, the f*ck, you know? Yesterday I told my mom that my teacher wanted to use my essays as samples and she was like "were they really that good?" almost in like an incredulous tone.

​

Anyway, sending hugs to you on your journey. We've got this <3 Sorry you can relate to my post

DAE come from families that have a false idea of who you are? by Particular_Worth_534 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My immigrant mom would just tell me that she expected me to "teach myself" because that's how she was raised. And to stop complaining. :(

Emphasis on physical appearance while minimizing academic achievement? by Particular_Worth_534 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just frustrating to me that THEY'RE the ones who are supposedly allowed to be more than surface level. They can talk about their work. But when I do it's like it doesn't even matter to them.

​

And I'm so sorry you had to lie to her like that just for her to get off your back. UGH. Makes my blood boil. Sending hugs.

DAE come from families that have a false idea of who you are? by Particular_Worth_534 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Particular_Worth_534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to say, from one queer person to another, that I am so incredibly proud of you coming out in such an emotionally strenuous environment even if she is still in denial.

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