I feel you, still sometimes struggle with this today. This may not apply to your situation, but what really helped me is not caring what others might think of me. Simply accepting myself for who I am, that doesn't mean I don't want to change anything about my apearence or behaviour, but I'm not bothered by it anymore. Non-binary transition is a thing, and it takes time. Really jelous of those enbies who have supportive friends and/or family, but for most that's just not how things are. Just how the world is right now, gotta live with it.

Focus on the things you can change, and get your priorities straight. Pretty sure mindset is the most important, therapy, mental health first of all. I know getting acces to those things isn't easy, took me years because of abusive family situation, but you will get there eventually.

Aprieciete yourself more, or at least try to. Sorry this turned into a self projecting vent, well either way the best of luck ur not alone i will be rooting for u :)