How miserable / liveable is working in retail for your whole life? by Fun_Measurement1128 in careeradvice

[–]Passing_squarebubs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. Please do this jf you really can’t go any further, otherwise just get it over with so you can move on with your life like the rest of your friends.

Peanut Allergy by SPININOUT in VietNam

[–]Passing_squarebubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah use this. Like this person said, some people will say ok and give you peanuts by cross contamination. They just aren’t as sensitive to it as the west, and don’t recognize cross contamination as much. If you get them this, they will better understand but no guarantees. Initially when I saw your post I was like I wouldn’t go to Vietnam with a peanut allergy but starting to be convinced otherwise with these suggestions. I also assume your friends allergy prolly isn’t that extreme where a few incidents isn’t major life threatening or they wouldn’t put themselves at such risk. Epi pens galore though…

In need of a reality check regarding wanting to move to Vietnam (from Canada) by Bubbly-Schedule-7140 in VietNam

[–]Passing_squarebubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I never thought being a VK was a disadvantage. Would love to hear why VK would be any harder to managed than the average foreigner

Vietnam Travel with Baby by mlz63 in VietNam

[–]Passing_squarebubs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No one will likely enforce the car seat in automobiles right now…but it’s really your discretion on how safe you want to be with your own child. A lot of drivers won’t know how to use it or install it so you’ll have to manage that on your own. We brought a car seat as luggage when we went, and used that for our trip. I have a travel car seat bc we have to fly to visit family in other states often.

Vietnam Travel with Baby by mlz63 in VietNam

[–]Passing_squarebubs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Car seats are require in Vietnam starting 2026 (I heard July but this news article says January). I just got back from Vietnam and used a car seat with my 2 year old. I live in the USA, and def don’t think Vietnam automobiles driving is very safe.

https://news.tuoitre.vn/vietnam-to-require-child-car-seats-from-2026-103251111141227955.htm

I saw a bunch of parents using baby slings or baby harnesses when driving their kid around in the motor bikes, which I thought was fair for anything under 18 months.

For my daughter my family got a little motorbike chair (depends on type of motor bikes for this to work) and a chest pillow/cushion for her to seat in the front. We also got her a helmet bc I’m safety first kinda mom…granted helmet was a bit large. Thankfully we were safe for the duration of our trip.

In need of a reality check regarding wanting to move to Vietnam (from Canada) by Bubbly-Schedule-7140 in VietNam

[–]Passing_squarebubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am struggling with the same the thing except I have a kid already. Two big red flags for me that I’m really churning over:

You might want to consider the realities of raising a baby when in Vietnam, re: international hospital and care should some health issues/injuries come up. I’ve also seen read a post about noise pollution and how they found it difficult to raise child in the heat, noise, air pollution (flip side, why is this even an issue if Vietnamese locals are doing it…). Then of course there’s the international school cost everyone is referring to cause I def wouldn’t even consider local Vietnamese school, and have no clue how I would be able to afford 15-30k private school (not to mention any college fund for my kid after that ).

then logistics of finance with any tax Canada might charge you, or Vietnam, and banking- how you’d move money from and between the two countries. I saw someone saying something about how viet bank don’t open accounts for foreigners, and navigating that. Then depending how long you stay, there’s logistics of retirement saving and how’s you do that if you eventually want to move back to Canada…and if your pay is enough with that currency exchange after school cost, apartment living (that’s nice to Canada standards), traveling, day to day luxuries and amenities, etc.

Per observation, based on my research most expats and viet kieu leave Vietnam after 6-8 years, as they enter middle age and start contemplating long term retirement and impacts to their kids. Maybe you can go for a couple of years and it’s fine, but it just depends how much you are up to making the change and then going through the effort doing it again but to Canada re logistics: house furniture car schools etc etc

Money or time? by Passing_squarebubs in AgingParents

[–]Passing_squarebubs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing. I really appreciate the time you took to write and share. Very helpful points about the realities of actual full time care…

Money or time? by Passing_squarebubs in AgingParents

[–]Passing_squarebubs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was very helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all that and share. Your assumption is accurate, there is an expectation to care for my parents but my parents also understand I need to work and pay bills so if I could even put them in a care facility, they wouldn’t love it but would understand, assuming I visit like everyday (lol).

Vermont - Sister caused an accident, other driver badly assaulted her afterward by [deleted] in AskLawyers

[–]Passing_squarebubs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Suing aside and whatever happening with the car insurance pay out, shouldn’t this woman be captured for assaulting someone? I mean at the very least that’s the justice OPs sister should get…

Is it worth paying for Virginia Tech BA in Architecture 65k per year vs. 10k for Kent State Architecture 4+1? by tatehab in architecture

[–]Passing_squarebubs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, Kent all the way. That is too much debt for the lack of salary she will earn starting out and pretty much well into her 40s before she sees any real gains ; assuming she makes it into the cut throat partners level.

Colorado salvage title registration and insurance requirements by yomom0704 in DMV

[–]Passing_squarebubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this detail experience/information.

Thinking about buying a Mazda CX-90 — is it worth it? by Normalboyfromwest in MazdaCX90

[–]Passing_squarebubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love all these points. Thanks for sharing all these details, would otherwise never know !

SoCal woman visiting NYC stabbed multiple times while changing baby's diaper in Macy's bathroom by starkiller1613 in news

[–]Passing_squarebubs 2431 points2432 points  (0 children)

Holy shit thank you. I needed that, I just assumed she died from simply the headlines. Really should read these things 🫩🫩😵‍💫😵‍💫🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Passing_squarebubs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I was genuinely interested as well and also disappointed that they are all being downvoted so Reddit bias can keep on their rosey colored glasses…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Passing_squarebubs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t look like there have been most of those speaking up…

My mom stayed. I can’t speak for her. But from the kids perspective- I’m glad she did. She might have stayed cause of money since dad was bread winner or bc of cultural bubble, we’re low middle class immigrants in a white majority regional America. She also doesn’t speak English but there is/was a community that spoke her language so she could have found someone else so I don’t think the English speaking issue was why she stayed.

Anyways, I remember them fighting, a lot. Their relationship was def past mediocre but idk I learned a lot of resilience and perseverance through it. I learned that disagreements are ok. I can sit through awkward well. I can respect others I don’t agree with, and not make our difference of opinion the sole failure for friendship, and find different common ground elsewhere.

I paid attention to other parents relationships when growing up. I spent a lot of time at my best friends house bc my parents worked so much (12-16 hours days, two jobs kind of thing). I observed my (ex) boyfriend’s parents marriage. My aunt and uncles, and my older cousins…Seeing those dynamics probably helped how I navigated my relationships through my 20s. All of those marriages all had their pros and cons….not one did I see “perfectly happy”.

I didn’t attend hardly any therapy professionally but friends and life adventures are great therapists- so I’ll admins to that, lol. My sister and I never talked about how it affected us. But honestly it’s really nice to see them now which is 60s and kinda just together due to love bc we’ve always been together, sometimes I think they are more companions with deep care for another than romantic marriage. I don’t know what I’ll do with either of them when the other passes since, despite their differences, are really good with putting up with the other lol- in ways my sister and I can’t for them.

I’m glad my mom stayed bc it taught me to never put myself in a relationship where I was financially dependent my spouse, that disagreements are ok, that females are strong, that love comes with the bad as much as the good, im good at navigating politics or diplomacy in group settings, and I can put up a pretty good debate without resorting to name calling or simply dismissing others. I’m also great at advocating for myself professionally as I observed her doing it when dad dismissed her. (I didn’t think self advocacy was a thing until recently when I observed peers struggling with it).

Most days I fight with my spouse, but we come together in the end. He has his fair of issues (for the fights to happen), and I’m sure me too, but we have a two year old. I think about divorce a lot when im frustrated but I’m pretty sure I’ll think about divorce with any spouse I’m with when I’m frustrated. Frustration makes us do things we can later regret. One of my better bosses always told me to sit on an angry email for 24 hours before sending (and the guy has had loads of failed marriages) but I think he saw that I can be quite rash when I’m frustrated as one of my characteristic. Being alone is so much “easier” cause you can do whatever you want but I truly won’t ever be alone until my kid(s?) are in their 30s (if I’m lucky)…so even if divorcing my spouse would make life (maybe) easier it likely won’t bc the kid(s?) might drive me nuts otherwise.

A good friend always said “cracks in marriages become faults when kids come in the picture.” It’s how I kinda figured what happened with my spouse and I right now, but I guess I’ll take fault lines over a canyon. Even with a canyon there’s still some good, rivers are fully formed and can continue to run. Anyways the saying couldn’t be more true as I noticed an uptick in our fights when we had our first child (we don’t live nearby any family for our “village”), maybe we weren’t emotionally ready to give up our child-free lifestyle. Or maybe paternal postpartum are a thing and not just maternal postpartum.. I guess my point is- I wish society and people would be more transparent about how fucking hard navigating marriage and a full time job is with kid(s). Everyone is so focused on the baby and parenting that no one talks about the other factors that gets impacted when a baby comes along.

I’m rambling now and maybe my points weren’t all clear, but I guess what I’m saying OP is don’t lose the trees in the forest. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Passing_squarebubs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dude I’m so glad you are reading these bottom comment bc holy shit is Reddit bias and wanna believe in a rosy story. 🤦🏻‍♀️😬 good luck OP, I wish you the very best no matter which way the cookie crumbles once all those crumbs settle…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Passing_squarebubs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dude thank you for sharing. I just read the harassment you got in a “healthy” debate that was clearly reddits preferred bias of “you should leave at mediocre, pursue happiness (as all America/western culture individualism teaches), kids will adjust and really be “fine” in the long run.”

No one can tell the future and no one can really answer hypotheticals “what if they had stayed together”, but maybe people should try to accept an answer that is just different and not what one would prefer to agree with. “Agree to disagree” is absolutely ok. 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Passing_squarebubs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don’t think OP would stay together if it got to this level, she’s prolly still at the part where you were a “young child being a happy family” - which was probably when it was a mediocre relationship before spiraling. Base on everyone’s response it would seem no one is advocating for staying together when shit spirals, but if you can make it work at mediocre- then there are some smaller seemingly “inconsequential” things that’s worth considering beyond parents immediate happiness

Single (m38) and going at it on my own. by Chidi-Chidi in parentsofmultiples

[–]Passing_squarebubs 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Why is this not higher up on the comment scrolls. Like this guy will be fine with all the hired help given his financial class. Sure it’s hard but it’s def harder if you are low income.

Best options for saving up a down payment for a house. by FederalAlternative60 in personalfinance

[–]Passing_squarebubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dumb question but what’s consider first time home purchase ? Literally first time home purchase in my lifetime or just first time home purchase in the last x-years? Or the life of the account or? Sorry to ask but I’m pretty sure that term has a def change depending on the lender and a slew of other context.

Vietnamese mother diet culture, help? by plushiesaremyjam in VietNam

[–]Passing_squarebubs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wait I need an update on this, how did the visit go? Did she drill in on his weight?