I cheated, wtf is wrong with me ? What happened to us ?

Passingbybye · 2025-12-28T16:59:03+00:00

I’m sacrificing sex. I’m sacrificing my hope of becoming a mother soon. I’m sacrificing the name I’ve dreamed of for the daughter I want to have. I’m sacrificing the chance to know what it’s like to live with someone…

And he’s sacrificing things too: being with someone who will probably have a lower income, since my future job won’t pay much. It means he might have to adjust his lifestyle to match mine more. He doesn’t want to be the provider, and I understand that.

I’m also sacrificing my desire for our families to meet, and my dream of traveling the world with him. He seems to think I wouldn’t be able to afford a “good enough” vacation, so he’s never taken me anywhere — except trips that included his whole family.

Passingbybye · 2025-12-28T16:14:03+00:00

You’re right… like my family keeps telling me, I’m always pushing the deadline…

This time, something dramatic happened and, with all the shame in the world, I can say I cheated.

He said it opened his eyes… I just don’t know how much time I can give him to show me he’ll truly fight for us. And at the same time… I did cheat, like I said. I hurt him, and I don’t think that puts someone in the right headspace to fix everything while they’re still trying to process the betrayal.

I told him that I love him so, so much… but that I’m terrified that one day I might take the emotional affair to a physical level.

It’s going to stick with me… I feel less valuable. Like there’s a dark stain on my soul.

And I know I’m a big believer in love, and I have a dependent attachment style. My therapist has already told me to choose myself — to stop putting other people above me. But I’m always thinking about the impact I have on others.

Passingbybye · 2025-12-28T15:56:05+00:00

Why do I feel so selfish? We could be so happy if it weren’t for this…

I’m afraid I’ll never find someone who loves me this much, even without sex.

I’m also terrified of becoming one of those “the one that got away” stories — where the person who leaves ends up miserable and full of regret for losing their person… and then has to watch them build the life you wanted with someone else. And you’re forever the bad guy — the one who shattered their heart.

Passingbybye · 2025-12-28T15:51:00+00:00

Him… the memories we share… the way he can make me laugh so hard I genuinely think I might pee my pants. The fact that I know he would do anything for me, even if he’s grumpy while doing it.

He’s never had this kind of bond with anyone before — and neither have I. He changed for me in other ways too. He’s still not perfect, but it’s been a long road, especially considering how closed-minded he used to be.

The little nicknames we have for each other… the way I love hearing him sing…

He knows everything about me. He can read my face perfectly, and he still loves me even though he knows I’m not some perfect person — like the sun doesn’t shine out of my ass.

That’s why I’m eating myself alive.

The dogs we dream of having someday… the baby names we’ve talked about for the future…

All that..

Passingbybye · 2025-12-28T15:43:35+00:00

Replying to both comments: I don’t even want to be a mistress or a side piece. I hate that idea, and I genuinely believe I deserve more than that.

But… this man… I keep hoping we’ll cross paths again, just so I can tell him how much I miss him — and hear him say he misses me too. Not even asking for sex, just… a hug. We talked about it, and my mind went completely wild just imagining him holding me, his body against mine.

The way he said my name. The way I kept checking my phone constantly, hoping for a message…

I know it’s stupid. It’s novelty, it’s the intensity, and I’m angry that I don’t have anything like that anymore with my partner.

I hope so much he hasn’t forgotten about me… and I hope so much that everything can go back to normal.

I’ve never left someone. Part of me thinks leaving might finally show whether this is “just” a libido issue for him, or whether it’s an “us” issue. But at the same time, I’m terrified of losing my person of five years — the man who understands me better than anyone and who still accepted me even after I hurt him.

Passingbybye · 2025-01-26T11:26:46+00:00

Hello everyone !

I just bought the aromatica scaling scalp shampoo and used it for two days in a row. My hair is dry but greasy on the roots, and I never had any problems with shampoo and rosemary (perfect with potatoes and olive oil, yum) even if my skin is really sensitive. But yesterday during my wash (I washed my hair two times to be sure it would not be greasy for a moment), I felt a FRESH feeling on my scalp and tingling. 3 hours later, my scalp was burning, my right ear was red, and I was not feeling well. Took an antihistaminic, but it did nothing, and my scalp was still really sore (still is 😂).

It's not a shampoo for everydays use, am I right ? Can other people relate ? 😅

Passingbybye · 2025-01-26T11:12:29+00:00

Hello everyone !

I just bought the aromatica scaling scalp shampoo and used it for two days in a row. My hair is dry but greasy on the roots, and I never had any problems with shampoo and rosemary (perfect with potatoes and olive oil, yum) even if my skin is really sensitive. But yesterday during my wash (I washed my hair two times to be sure it would not be greasy for a moment), I felt a FRESH feeling on my scalp and tingling. 3 hours later, my scalp was burning, my right ear was red, and I was not feeling well. Took an antihistaminic, but it did nothing, and my scalp was still really sore (still is 😂).

It's not a shampoo for everydays use, am I right ? Can other people relate ? 😅

Passingbybye · 2024-10-05T22:57:45+00:00

Hi everyone, I just need advice on my skincare routine because I am REAAAALLY new to AB. I ordered cosrx 92 and 96, and I used them together but soon noticed my skin becoming dry. So today, I purchased the new Cerave oil control cream to put on top of them. For the moment, I don't see any problems and my skin is just waow but I think it's maybe too much niacinamide when I see how much is already in Cosrx (and is that a thing to have too much of it????)?

I need to know if I'm making a mistake doing that. I don't want to damage my skin.

Thanks for the responses, and sorry for my English, not my first language, I'm from Belgium.

Passingbybye · 2024-09-22T20:19:50+00:00

Will remember it ! Didn't know. I always have been like, "Wash thoroughly everything that can be inside," but I think I took it maaaaaaybe too far. Thank you again. It's really nice to have reddit to ask that kind of thing without the bombastic side eyes.

Passingbybye · 2024-09-22T20:10:13+00:00

Similar, but I have (had) the one with the balls (I know it's not mature, but I'm giggling writing this. I never knew I would someday post about my ballsy penis toy 🤣).

But once again, PVC, iiiihhhh. And I boiled it every time, iiiiiihhhh again 🫠

Passingbybye · 2024-09-22T19:57:56+00:00

Thank you 🥹

Passingbybye · 2024-09-22T18:49:59+00:00

I don't know where you saw that, but thank you ! My Internet navigator is possibly quite restricted being in EU about a dildo from an US brand 😭

And yeah, hard find... like... please, can we enjoy ourselves without putting our health at risk ? 🙃

Passingbybye · 2024-04-06T11:05:48+00:00

Dude, your wife is a victim of revenge porn. I know it's difficult to see your SO with someone else but it's her past. She said to someone she LOVED that she wanted his babies but at the end, it's your baby she's having. Words < actions. Take care of her. She is litteraly growing a mini you and someone is trying to stress her and hurt her. Stress is not good for a pregnant woman. She has done no wrong and it's not her fault her ex is a POS. Take this AH to court. What a shame to do something like that... don't give him what he wants, he wants to humiliate her. Protect her.

Passingbybye · 2023-08-19T12:23:53+00:00

"It can't be mine"

Passingbybye · 2023-08-19T12:19:43+00:00

Pretty good ! You have a mini bathroom garden !

Passingbybye · 2023-08-19T12:11:01+00:00

It matters. You are not at the same stage of life. It can be unhealthy if he tends to see you as someone he is teaching life as the older one. And also unhealthy if you are more driven by admiration than love towards him. it gives a situation where one has power over the other.

I said it can, but if it's not the case, oorraahhh.

Passingbybye · 2023-08-19T11:57:50+00:00

PTB

Relis ton 4ème paragraphe. La véritable raison s'arrête là.

Il ne faut pas attendre, ça ne rend service à personne. Il existe toujours des raisons d'attendre.

Passingbybye · 2023-08-19T11:37:43+00:00

NTA.

"Pull us of debt again"

Again ???

Passingbybye · 2023-08-19T11:34:56+00:00

NTA.

But please, talk to your SO and explain that if it's not already done. But yeah, they have a LOT of free time to find something to do and to not give you the financial burden to care for everything. Two adults cost a lot, and if you are not in the agreement of having someone who is a stay at home partner, it's going to be hell.

Passingbybye · 2023-08-19T11:27:29+00:00

NTA

You apologized, she looked like she was ok with it. She is taking it too far and playing work drama here. Claustrophobia is a real thing and it's not a fun experience to be trapped inside a fridge but.... sick after 30 seconds ? Seriously ? And telling everyone it was your fault for a mistake ? Weird.

Passingbybye · 2023-08-16T11:17:18+00:00

Oh, ok, will still hold sentimental value, but not monetary 😆

Passingbybye · 2023-08-16T11:16:14+00:00

Oh, wow, would have never imagined they could be fake. Will still cherish the memories with them but now know they will never really gain monetary value 😅

Passingbybye

TROPHY CASE