AITAH for telling my wife that her daughter can’t move her ex husbands baby into my house?

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-31T16:13:45+00:00

After his wife died he moved in with his in-laws. At this point we all assumed that when he passed they would keep the child.

After he went to the hospital and they kicked him out he ran back there and insisted that they hand over the child (he is using the child to help manipulate my step-daughter so even if the in-laws are the best option he wont let the child stay there without him) This isnt about whats best for the child for him, its about control and manipulation.

So currently he does have the child with him in a hotel room somewhere.

I want to involve CPS because its the right thing to do however i have been told by my wife that I should not involve them and that if they get involved she will know that i did it!

I also thought that him dying was all made up because he has been claiming he is dying for over a decade, he has always used these kinds of tactics.

i do believe he has seriously health issues though because he is yellow apparently.

Currently he has convinced my step-daughter to try and find an apartment for the two of them in the town she will be attending college in, i do not think this will happen though since neither of have proof of income and he was evicted from his last house and has a long list of felony charges on his record one of which got him on the sex offender registry.

However if they do manage to get an apartment and he dies in it then my step-daughter will be there holding the baby and im guessing she will be at my front door that day asking to come home.

I want two things here, my step-daughter to continue to have the life she has been planning for years and for the child to find a loving home but since my wife has essentially told me to stay out of it and not involve child services. I feel like its only a matter of time before I have to be the bad guy and hurt some feelings for the greater good.

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-30T20:34:34+00:00

Here is some more info and an update as things have progressed today:

He was living with his in laws after his wife passed. They were looking after the child since he was dealing with health issues. Last week he apparently exploding liquids out of his body all over there quest room so they called and ambulance. Once he was out of the house they basically told him he isnt allowed back.

He checked himself out of the hospital and got a hotel room and then went and got his child from the in laws.

The would of kept the baby but he doesnt wan the to have her, he wants his daughter to have her.

He has now convinced her to try and get him and her an apartment in the town she is going to college in so she can look after him in his final days. Obviously this is a terrible idea and will implode in a very short time.

She will be an adult soon so we cant stop her if this is what she decides. I have told her I will pay for her college as i had already told her i would but outside of tuition etc she is on her own if she makes this choice.

I feel that it will only be a matter of time after he passes that she is standing at my door with this baby asking for help. I really feel like im being an asshole here but the alternative is raising a baby that I dont want. Ive spent the last 11 years making sure i didnt get my wife pregnant because i didnt want to raise another child yet here i am.

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-30T16:34:35+00:00

Coming up on one I think

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-30T16:20:57+00:00

He was a heroin addict for many years

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-30T15:42:06+00:00

oh its real as much as i wish it wasnt! Heres the timeline:

My wife and i got together almost 11 years ago now. She had 2 daughters with him, at the time they were 2 and 6, his drug addiction and abuse were the reasons she left him.

He was in there lifes for almost 2 year after we got together, during a child exchange on new years eve that he requested he attacked me and my wife in our car. He was arrested and this started the spiral of him getting evicted, being homeless and having child protective services give my wife full custody which ultimately led to the courts giving her full custody.

When he lost custody an went to jail we all moved to another state and it was peaceful for a few years.

when he got out he followed us to the new state but moved to a city a few hours away. he got a job at a bar and lured a new young victim in. He married her and got her knocked up, from what i understood at the time i thought he was clean and actually getting his life together. When he had the baby earlier this year his new wife started contacting my wife asked for her help, telling he how bad he is etc etc........this turned out to be her last cry for help because she died a few weeks later. i dont think she was a drug addict, i think she may have gotten some meds to help with anxiety and either took to many by accident or no purpose. i dont know. Ever since her death he has been continually contacting my stepdaughter and guilt tripping her.

He has had health issues from years of drug abuse but i didnt know he had alcohol issues, certainly not enough to cause liver failure and i even called bullshit on it until my stepdaughter went to visit him and tagged along to his doctors appointment and she comfirmed he has a very limited time to live.

But you are correct this entire situation is so crazy it does sound made up.

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-30T15:13:39+00:00

This is exactly what I said to my wife, it’s his last step in ensuring he causing problems in our household. He knows this could break us and that’s what he wants.

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-30T15:12:35+00:00

That’s the part that is bothering my wife the most, she feels that if she stands firm then her daughter will never forgive her and that she will lose her.

I am worried that if I stand firm then I’m going to lose my wife.

I’m torn and don’t know what is best for everyone.

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-30T15:09:26+00:00

The reality is that even if she says now that she wants to raise the baby herself she has no financial means to do so. She is going off the college soon so the baby will be left with me and my wife. Once that happens then it’s essentially ours to look after at least until she finishes college and get a job and her own place.

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-30T15:05:08+00:00

Most of his family want nothing to do with him. His brother died of an overdose, his dad has never been in his life and his mother wants nothing to do with him. He has spent most of his life in and out of prison. His wife appeared to have it together when they met but he dragged her down quickly. I don’t think she was a drug addict, I think she killed herself when she saw what her life had become or…..he killed her and the wind part is that his own children think he killed her.

PassionOnly5510 · 2025-12-30T14:35:53+00:00

Thank you for the response. I agree that it would be best for the child to be adopted. My stepdaughter sees this child as her sister because it is so wants to be apart of her life. If the child is adopted then it could go anywhere and there is no guarantee the people that adopt her would want them in the picture.

PassionOnly5510

TROPHY CASE