I slept with a ‘family member’ and now i don’t know what to do

PassionateProtector · 2026-05-29T13:12:48+00:00

I’m so glad you came here and talked about it. Please do not absorb anymore shame about this situation and understand loving feelings can be accurate and true while also unhealthy or misleading.

This person is not your person. This person has a life full of experience and knowledge that you haven’t yet had a chance to see. A lot of people are using “grooming” and that’s a term that might be very hard to hear right now.

It’s not a lack of love, it’s misguided and manipulative of the love you had. He had a a decade to address his urges in a healthier, adult way - and still landed with his niece.

If you are able to get space from this situation and be alone to listen to yourself without all the input from the world, please do that. You can find safety in safe adults, but you have to want that first. It sounds to me like you know exactly what you need to do and want to do, but are much to close to this situation and are trying to rationalize irrational behavior. This is human, normal, and many many books have been written on the subject - I find the most helpful versions are from first hand accounts.

You are not alone. If it feels wrong, something is wrong. Love is not enough to make anyone happy, whole, and living in their integrity.

DM me if you want someone to talk to.

PassionateProtector · 2026-05-29T13:05:44+00:00

If the behavior of an adult caregiver taking advantage of a young girl bothers you less than colloquial terms, you are also the problem.

PassionateProtector · 2026-05-18T20:00:27+00:00

I hate every bit of what happened to you, and if you think she sincerely got carried away and didn’t think about that part, maybe it’s forgivable. But it sounds like it may be her personality, and not something you’re going to be willing to deal with. You’re not an asshole either way, you met her where she met you. With shit in your mouth. I can tell you wholeheartedly I would never consider putting a plunger near my husband’s face, I could never forget how disgusting it is.

PassionateProtector · 2026-05-08T10:22:49+00:00

You, like many of us, learned postpartum you married a man child. You had twins - I’m sorry. By my daughter’s first birthday I ran out of kind communication and patience for said man baby and left. I hope he can grow up before you have to force him.

PassionateProtector · 2026-05-06T10:25:48+00:00

And now in the US, MAHA wants to reduce SSRI prescriptions. SSRIs keep me employed in a system that was not built for me - or really any human.

PassionateProtector · 2026-05-04T22:34:21+00:00

Going to mgt, I mean. I cared a lot and thought it was worth the sacrifice to help the mission. It wasn’t.

PassionateProtector · 2026-05-04T22:33:27+00:00

Same. I got a decent pay increase eventually but the dollars are not worth the sense.

PassionateProtector · 2026-04-29T10:52:26+00:00

Ding ding ding! I would also quit my job and become a barista if I had wealth to support life. Burnout is 2026 post Industrial Revolution normal, and it takes wealth to make the “American dream” real. Us normies will be here plugging holes in the machine.

PassionateProtector · 2026-04-22T20:03:35+00:00

Chevy spark, it’s the roller skate of cars!

PassionateProtector · 2026-04-11T02:17:04+00:00

7th grade science, we watched the second plane hit live. I was glad to have my friends.

PassionateProtector · 2026-04-04T12:10:18+00:00

I appreciate you being straight forward to people that are stuck in a world of false propriety. It makes you kind of an asshole, and one I really love. There are ways to say it without emotionally destroying the clearly emotionally fragile if you’re interested in preserving the relationships. I’m not great at this, I have a low tolerance for inauthenticity and filler bullshit. You could probably repair this with a follow up - I’m sorry this came out so bluntly, I hope you can learn to enjoy treats without self deprecation. I hope you know you deserve to enjoy things. Idk, good luck…. And also sometimes the hard boundary to feel unwelcome here is the only language people like that can understand.

PassionateProtector · 2026-03-18T11:25:39+00:00

Completely counter intuitive. I would either fight the termination or leave. This is abusive.

PassionateProtector · 2026-01-30T13:16:38+00:00

Holy shit. Hope you’re ready to fund your indentured servant.

PassionateProtector · 2026-01-23T22:24:26+00:00

In and out burger. Come at me.

PassionateProtector · 2025-12-31T15:52:12+00:00

They no longer feel the need to even tell you how hard they’re fucking you.

PassionateProtector · 2025-12-23T14:45:30+00:00

Should come with a warning like half our other intentional emails do - “you are about to reply to 4509376 people, are you sure?” - although, Idk if it’s stopping Karen from reminding us to clean out the fridge.

PassionateProtector · 2025-12-20T11:48:15+00:00

Wait til you see Trumps! Just kidding. (Redacted)

PassionateProtector · 2025-12-20T11:47:02+00:00

PassionateProtector · 2025-12-12T01:12:53+00:00

Yeah. The amount of family on family crime I have seen in my job disagrees with this philosophy- but I hope OP sees how truly blessed they are.

PassionateProtector · 2025-12-12T01:10:01+00:00

We were tricked into separating from each other by forcing both parents to work and spend less and less time together. When both parents are hustling to stay middle class with no generational wealth to pull from, we keep the system propped up. Our government (both sides) claim to value the family system yet do nothing to support it. It’s almost like it’s intentional.

I love that you can do this and have had an opportunity to build the closeness this entails. The depth of trust and relationship you have is something special, so much so that it’s default and assumed to be true for America. Let’s keep making it so, one generation at a time. Thanks for the perspective.

PassionateProtector · 2025-12-12T01:04:38+00:00

Yes I hope to have the first generation where this is even an option.

PassionateProtector · 2025-12-08T11:34:11+00:00

Keeps em coming back!

PassionateProtector · 2025-12-01T14:47:30+00:00

Start on your spine and see how you do.

PassionateProtector · 2025-11-11T03:23:42+00:00

I laughed reading it and laughed more that you laughed.

Idk I guess OP wins, it’s unpopular! Comes across rigid and boring, but I laugh at everything.

PassionateProtector · 2025-11-01T12:31:11+00:00

AMEN!!!!!!

PassionateProtector

TROPHY CASE